I My Me, Oh My!
by Yogi Mutoh
Summary: A tale of how Yugi, Yami Bakura, Malik, Seto, Joey, and Otogi go too far to win a tournament! They'll do anything, and I mean ANYTHING to win...
1. Chappie 1

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Comments: **Based on an idea from watching an anime called "I My Me Strawberry Eggs" Pegasus announces a new tournament! How far is a duelist willing to go be in an all FEMALE-tournament? 

**Author's Note:** **Hello, guess what this is a pathetic attempt to be funny. Give it a chance please?**

**Disclaimer:** I own NADA! Nothing! Probably this empty Mountain Dew can besides me… look it's mocking me… it's telling me to get more… it's just standing there! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! (*laughs hysterically*) Whahahaha! Oh by the way I don't own Mountain Dew either.   
  


"..._italics_..." - thinking 

"...blah blah blah..." - talking 

{word} - translation for the word. 

**(A/N: Blah Blah Blah)** - Me talking!   
  
  


**_Chapter 1. The Start of it all..._**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Good Morning, Everyone! It's going to be a beautiful day today! Let's check in with our own Fritz—" 

"Change the channel Mokuba." Young CEO, Seto Kaiba ordered his younger brother, Mokuba Kaiba. Seto Kaiba was not in a good mood to watch the Wheather Channel. As any other day, he was in his study, at his desk, typing away at his laptop preparing layouts, graphs, and statistics for the next day. 

Without a protest, Mokuba reached for the remote. 

He flipped through channels until he stumbled upon one particular channel, "In other news," The anchorwoman looked directly at the audience, reading off the paper held in her hands. "Pegasus J. Crawford announced today his plans to hold a dueling tournament here in Japan—" 

Like a monkey hearing the call "banana", Seto attention quickly jumped from his laptop to the T.V. In his mind the words _"There's going to be a duel! A duel! A duel!"_ ringed many times over. **(A/N: He should really get help…)**

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

**Meanwhile,**

"DUEL!!" Joey Wheeler exclaimed, leaping in the air, excited over hearing the announcement over the television. Clenching his fist and in a mighty pose only belonging to Joey, he cried "Oh yeah!" 

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**At the other side of town, watching the same broadcast,**

"It's time to D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!" 

"Will you stop saying that!!" Yugi Mutou sighed in responce of his other self. "It's very annoying" 

"Sorry, Aibou {_Partner_}. You know I've been having that stuttering problem lately" Yami, the former Pharaoh of Egypt, explained, although he was really messing with Yugi's head. "But we must be careful about entering. I'm worried that Pegasus is up to something." 

"Why can't you just let things go! I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt anyone!" 

"Aibou...b-b-but you were literally dying in my arms!" 

"We should give him a chance! Didn't you hear that heartbreaking story!" 

"Aibou… I was still surprised that he even HAD someone… I thought he swung--" Yami stopped in mid-sentence, perhaps his Aibou was sensitive on that 'subject' "…I was surprised that's all." 

Yugi looked quizzically at, well himself. Yami was a spirit that lived inside his Millennium Puzzle and even so, it was the same as if he were talking to himself, because the two shared one body, but two minds. Yugi shrugged Yami's comment off and glued his eyes back to the T.V. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

**Somewhere else, watching the same T.V. program.**

Evil cackling… ensued by more evil cackling.****

**SMACK**! 

"Sorry Malik-sama, it was reflexes, I assure you" Rishid shifted his eyes slightly. 

Malik Ishtar, the leader of the Rare Hunters, rubbed the bump he received from Rishid,. "Rishid, do you know what this means? This will be a perfect chance to beat the Pharaoh! How could he miss this tournament!" 

"Malik-sama I thought Battle City was being held--" 

"That's a month from now, you fool!" Malik said, cutting him off "this little tournament can be the best chance I have to fight him _before_ our destined meeting!" Malik grinned, rubbing his hands together in a menacing way. 

Rishid sighed at Malik contradicting himself. If Malik did attend this tournament then he would meet up with the Pharaoh, thus it being their destined meeting. _But does that mean that Battle City will be for nothing, and if so, is this tournament the Pharaoh and Malik's fated duel? It was all so complex …_Rishid thought. 

"RISHID! Get me my dueling cape!" Malik ordered, soon followed with Rishid smacking himself on the head. Sometimes he's a menace to us all, the next he's some bratty child wanting his bottle. 

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**At a crowded street**

Ryou Bakura walked causally down the streets of Domino City. His hand wavered to the Millennium Item around his neck. The sweet innocent Bakura was indeed charmed by an evil spirit. That spirit of course maintained control of his host, without the knowledge of his host or his host's friends knowing. 

As 'Yami' Bakura walked, the television at the window display caught his attention. On the screen appeared to, according to Bakura, 'A Foolish Mortal' sitting at a desk with pieces of papers in her hands. Bakura's attention was at the headline reading "Tournament being held by the creator of Duel Monsters." 

"A tournament, eh?" Bakura grinned evilly, looking forward to the prospect of finding other holders of the Millennium Items. Perhaps if he were to participate, then he would have a clue as to the other item's whereabouts. 

"Watch where your going jerk!" Someone purposely bumped into Bakura. A gleam shot in his eyes, oh yes, somebody was surely going to visit the Shadow Realm today. 

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**At another Residence (A/N At another place at another convenient time! This is getting tiring.)**

Ryujji Otogi **(A/N: a.k.a. Duke Devlin)** was currently playing a "special edition" of Dungeon Dice Monsters, when he peered over his shoulder to see the announcement over the T.V., playing in the background.. 

"Um, your move" the young lady lightly blushed. She'd been invited to attend a private session of Dungeon Dice Monsters against it's creator, but she was confused. She quietly thought, "_Who knew the game had rules that required you to 'sacrifice' one article of clothin_g?" 

Forgetting about her, Otogi thought to himself _"GREAT! Now is the opportunity to promote DDM!!"_ At first thought he wanted to leap out of his chair and make a few phone calls, but Otogi stopped and looked over at the girl across from him. "_Special Edition DDM or a tournament promoting his one 'true' love"…oh what a cruel choice!_

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**Now for the rest of the T.V. announcement,**

The young T.V. announcer smiled almost too happily, as she started to finish off her report "Pegasus J. Crawford plans to hold the tournament of all FEMALE duelist. Commenting, 'this will be a great way to encourage many females to join in such tournaments where men have always fully dominated in.' Also adding 'reporter-girl' at the end of every sentence. I assure you I don't understand why he adds '-girl' or '-boy' to a person's name, however, Mr. Crawford is dead serious about having an all-female tournament!" 

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"SEXISM!" Kaiba yelled, pounding his hand on table. 

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Joey stopped flexing his muscles and froze in mid-stance. 

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"WHAT!!" Yugi and Yami mimicked one another. 

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"Should I get you one of Isis-sama's dresses, Malik-sama?" a snickering Rishid asked. 

Malik glared at Rishid, then sighed deeply. 

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Bakura, who had just returned from a deserted alley, where no one can hear your screams, was about to walk past the same window display as he stared at the words 'All-Female Tournament' snarled at the recent turn of events. 

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"Ah, hell" Otogi moaned in disappointment. Well that solved his problem… or did it? 

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**End of Chapter 1**

Okay not the best. Look out for chapter 2. 

End Notes:   
-**-**Besides Joey, Tea, and Tristan, I try to use the Japanese names instead of the English ones. Enjoy! Oh and please excuse the grammar and spelling, I'll fix it later. 

-Also based on the anime "The Slayers" Episode, 'They're talking about a girl named Zelgadis?', and an Anime Music Video entitled "Dude Looks like a Lady" by Aerosmith. 

Review! 


	2. Chappie 2

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:** Hey if two people like this story then I'll give you another chapter. I actually think this story can go places! WHAHAHAHA! **SweetCandie**, yup, you guessed where this story is going. In fact, your idea about Pegasus, can I use it please? It will add to the humor of this story. Thanks to my other reviewer **Lerian Amaya**! If I get more encouragement I write more! 

**Disclaimer: ** Yu-gi-oh and all its wonderful characters/properties belong to their respective owners. I'd like to thank Kazuki Takahashi for creating such a vivid, brilliant show!   
  
  


**_Chapter 2. I guess a duelist must do what a duelist must do!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yugi sat in front of his T.V., with his head prompt on his hand, continuing to stare is disbelief. 

"You know Aibou, there'll be other tournaments. We don't have to go to every one." Yami comforted Yugi. 

"I guess your right…!" Yugi sulked. 

The broadcast continued on, the anchorwoman cleared her throat and continued "As for the prize Mr. Pegasus announced that the winner will receive 3 million dollars, a rare Dark Magician Girl card—" 

Yugi's eyes gleamed. Yami, who in spirit form, sat besides Yugi, asked. "Are you sick… you got something weird going on with your eyes...?" 

"Did you not hear?!? It's the DARK MAGICIAN GIRL!!!" Yugi squealed, causing Yami to squint a little. 

"Are you some kind of fan?" Yami asked calmly. 

"A FAN?!?! A MERE FAN!?!?! A FAN isn't what I am! I'm a FOLLOWER!! " Yugi went berserk throwing his arms up in a mad frenzy, the way they bended were most demonic like. 

"AIBOU? ?!?! What's the matter with you? Calm dow—" 

"CALM DOWN?!?! How can you ask me to calm down!!?" Yugi yelled to his other self, very un-like Yugi. "I need that Dark Magician Girl to build my deck… she can be a valuable asset. Imagine two Dark Magician Girls in my deck…" Stars appeared in Yugi's eyes. 

Yami nervously chuckled and grinned. "Uh I guess your right…" He then looked away from Yugi, looking quite shaken.. Yami thought "_Aibou is acting oddly. It's pathetic how he loves the Dark Magician Girl that much--_" 

"Yami…" Yugi's figure hovered cross-armed, menacingly over Yami. Yami quivered at his now angered Aibou. "… You know I can hear what your thinking…" 

"Eep…" Yami gulped. 

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"Ridiculous" Seto remarked. "What would I do with _more_ money and a Dark Magician Girl card?" 

"Too bad ni-sama" Mokuba chirped. "You couldn't go anyways, it's for girls only." 

"It's stupid, who'd want to participate for a Dark Magician Girl anyways?" Seto replied, covering up for the mere thought of joining. "Though, what I wouldn't do to have a rematch with Pegasus!" 

Mokuba shrugged and returned his attention back to the T.V., the announcer still hadn't finished her report, "Mr. Crawford also put up another card as a prize. Mr. Crawford states, 'This card has brand new art and is also especially rare!' The card is the Legendary--- BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON?!!?" 

"WHAT!!!!!" Seto's voice rang through the mansion. 

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"No way!" Joey surprised started at the screen. "The Blue Eyes White Dragon!?!?." 

Joey was sitting in the middle of living room floor, gawking at the screen. Only moments ago he was depressed from the fact that he wasn't going to have a chance to fight against Yugi or the others, but now the opportunity to own a Blue Eyes White Dragon card was open for the taking. 

"Now everyone will take me seriously if I had that card…" Joey chuckled lightly. "Oh, yes they will take me seriously! hahahaHAHAHA" 

"Um… Joey… who are you talking to?" Joey's father asked as he entered the room, dropping all the groceries bags on the table. 

Joey looked back and nervously scratched his head. "Uh gotta go, dad!" he made a dash for his room to plan his next move. 

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Yami Bakura banged his head on the display window, banging his fist along in frustration. "No _women_ possess Millennium Item…" 

"Um… sir… there's a REALLY scary looking guy at our window," one of the store employees said, directing her comment to her manager. "He looks _crazy_…Sir? Sir? Where are you?" 

The store employee, not noticing when her manger left, when in search for him. Not finding him within the store, the employee stepped out through the back alley to search there. All she found were his glasses. "_That's strange_" the employee thought 

Regaining his composure, Bakura was about to leave when the broadcast displayed another image, one of-- 

Bakura gasped. "A MILLENNIUM ITEM?!?" 

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"Ne-san {sister}!" Malik cried. The telecast had displayed on the screen his sister, Isis Ishtar. 

"Isis Ishtar, from the Historical Society, has announced her participation in this tournament, commenting 'this would be a great way for women everywhere to show they are also as good as men'" 

"Isis-sama is joining--" Rishid stating the obvious. 

"All right…" Malik rose to his feet,. "I think I'll take up on your offer for the dress Rishid" 

"You can't be serious…?!?" Rishid barely uttered. "Sir, won't you reconsider--!" 

"No!" Malik barked, "Now go Rishid bring me my_ new_ dueling outfit!" 

"The dress sir, or the cape?" 

"Both" Malik bluntly replied 

With a groan Rishid left thinking _"… the things I do for this family"_

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Otogi said his goodbyes to his lady friend, then proceeded back upstairs to check out the rest of the broadcast. Seems they were re-airing the rest of the report at six. Of course, he would like to find a method of promoting Dungeon Dice Monsters by getting as many details as possible. 

Otogi walked over and sat in a huge Love Seat in his living room. Flipping through the channels, he found the correct channel the announcement was being broadcasted through. 

"The tournament being held by Pegasus J. Crawford is planning to air the tournament worldwide. This is a great way for Industria Illusions to promote--.." 

"World… wide…promote…" Otogi's grinned rather idiotically. " YES!!!!" 

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**Okay this wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be, but I got lots of ideas for later. First my plan is to make each of our duelists prepare individually, so next chapter is going to be… YUGI!!**

**Yugi: "please be kind to me…no seriously!"**

**REVIEW!!!!!**


	3. Yugi!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Comments:** Well so far there are only a few people in the story. Eventually I'll bring in others, but my main cast has to go first. Gotta build a plot! **(*thunder*)** Hey this has a plot! For those of you who don't like me using Japanese phrases, or if I screwed it up entirely, it isn't my fault. It comes out naturally! I'm hooked on the Japanese anime! I picked up a couple of words in Japanese and I can't stop saying them!! Just so you know, Yugi **DOES** have a mother! For some reason they cut her out in the dub! 

**Author's Note:** … I think I have nothing better to do. I guess writing a fanfic is all I can do to NOT get my work done! **The 7th Toraphim**, many thanks and yes Tea/Anzu will be included and well you'll see what I have planned. **Yami Tails **I'll continue when I get a bored or have time. Spring Break means more time! But I have night school too…dammit…. **Random Rockstar** you such a buddy thanks for reviewing! **Sailor Comet** thanks for reviewing. I try not to be too OOC with the characters but sometimes it can't be helped. **SweetCandie**, I'll try my best to keep updating! I saw your profile (I REALLY don't have anything to do) well anyways you like Pegasus, right? Some people, I've noticed don't like him and/or Tea/Anzu. Personally, I try my hardest not to bash on anyone. Bashing is wrong. Terribly, Terribly wrong! See for example: 

**Imaginary hammer comes out of nowhere and "bashes" Yugi on the head (A/N: a play on words WHOO-HOO!)**

**Yugi: Owie…**

**See! No one likes to "bash"-ed on, it hurts a character and it tarnishes his or her image.**

**BASH. BASH. BASH.**

**Yugi: AHHH! Stop it you whore!**

**……... (*GASP*)**

**Yugi: I'm sorry it's just that I don't like you! And I can be OOC once in a while.**

**Point taken, you multi-personality psycho!**

**Yugi: HEY! You're bashing me!**

**BASH! BASH! BASH!**

**Yugi: (*out cold*)**

**Uh… would you look at that… he's sleeping…(*shifty eyes*) Every character is beautiful in their own way, everyone! Don't make me bash Yami! I'll do it! I'm armed with my imaginary hammer! I'm not afraid of his legions, upon legions, of fan girls (*realizes what she's saying*)… oh crap yes I am!**

Did you understand the meaning of me trying to talk to a make-believe hottie? I hope so! Everyone needs to know this powerful speech! Spread the message! Oh wait I sound like Tea, she's so… **ERGH I don't like bashing!** By the way does she seem that annoying? I see more of the Japanese so she's not bad, she's just somewhat odd. Before you point "ANZU-LOVER" I'm not, I like Seto Kaiba and only him… well Mokuba is okay, but Kaiba is my idol! It's okay to point and say "KAIBA-LOVER!" and if you happen to mispronounce by saying "Kaiba's lover," it's okay. I forgive you! (*wink wink*) 

**Disclaimer:** If I did own Yu-gi-oh then this story would have been made into an episode! If you didn't understand it, no I don't own Yu-gi-oh and pray I don't!   
  
  
  


**_Chapter 3: Yugi-kun, I don't think so!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"When there's a will there's a way!" Yugi doubtfully proclaimed. 

"Aibou… I like you, you're a kind person and all but this… this is madness!" Yami sighed. 

"Yami, this plan is full proof!" 

"Oh yeah! Take a look in the mirror!" 

"Are you questioning my style!" 

"Noo…" Yami sarcastically commented. 

"Just need to fix the make-up that's all!" 

_"I don't think that'll help…"_ Yami thought, this time remembering _NOT_ to share it with Yugi. "Please, oh PLEASE, listen to reason!" Yami pleaded. He was going to have nightmares after all this is over. 

"Oh so your quest for you memories is more important than my Dark Magician Girl!" Yugi yelled. "Oh so Mr. High and Mighty Pharaoh thinks he's…." thinking for a moment. "…That he's… all High and Mighty!!!" 

"You know, you never act like this with anyone else, your even nicer to someone like Kaiba!" 

"_He_ didn't want to thwart me from my Dark Magician Girl!" Yugi pouted. 

"_He_ ripped your Grandpa's Blue Eyes!" Yami retorted. 

"All the more reason to participate," Yugi replied. "If I win the Blue Eyes then BAM, Grandpa would just die!" 

Yami gasped. "Heartless!" 

"It's an expression, he won't die for real!" 

Yami rolled his eyes, "I don't know Aibou... If you're going this far with the tournament then I wonder what's next?" 

"Look I—" 

"What is it? What's wron--" Yami asked. 

Yami's words were cut off by a blood-curdling scream. 

"Mother! This isn't what it looks like!" Yugi screamed, grabbing the nearest thing to cover himself up, sadly it was his own mother's dress that he planned on trying on. In panic, Yugi threw that away and grabbed the only thing he could find, a pair of his own boxers, one's with little monsters on them. Quickly he slipped it over his face. Since his hair was pointy several pieces stood out from the openings. 

"What's going on?" Grandpa Muth ran in after hearing the scream. "Oh dear!!" Lifting the broom on his hand he began whacking what he thought was an evil demon "BEGONE evil one!" 

"AIYEEE" Yugi said bringing his arms up defensively "It's me! Yugi!" 

"Yugi!!?!?" Grandpa yelled. "What's going on?!?!" 

"Oh my son's become a thing now…" Yugi's mom sobbed as she fell to her knees, her face buried in her hands. 

Ashamed and rather beaten, Yami took off the boxers in his face to reveal, what he and Yami were discussing earlier. It's best to say that his Grandfather was horror-stricken, and once again hit Yugi with the broom. 

"That hurts!" Yugi rubbed his head. 

"Yugi! You have some explaining to do!" Grandpa warned. 

**(A/N: I'm sure you want to know why Yugi's guardians are panicking and why Yami doubted what his Aibou was wearing wouldn't fool anyone. Well here goes)**

Yugi bowed his head slightly as bow had fallen in front of him. First his hair currently had a pink bow for every spiky strand. Secondly, he had no shirt on because apparently he was in the process of stuffing a bra he was wearing with tissue paper. Lastly, his makeup that would make Picasso roll over in his grave! Yugi concentrated heavily on the mascara, the lipstick was too red and was all over his face, his eyelids with barely visible pink, and the blush was purple. Yugi wasn't trained in knowing the difference between purple eye shadow and pink blush! (He was a duelist, not a makeup artist!) 

"Uh…!" Yugi stuttered. 

"AIYEEE!!" Yugi's mom screamed. "Yugi!! Don't' speak! You'll break your mother's poor fragile heart! Where'd I go wrong? Was it all those times I wasn't around cause of my gambling problems?" 

"Well actually…" Grandpa stated. 

"Or was it because I let your grandfather take care of you when I went on vacation!" Yugi's mom glared at Grandpa pointing her finger at him. "It's your fault! You and that cult game he keeps playing!" 

"Dear, I don't think it's bad, let the boy talk" Grandpa nervously smiled, turned and giving Yugi a death glare "Talk boy!" 

"Well I…" Yugi wanted to lie, but it wasn't his nature. "I want to enter an all-female tournament… to...uh... impress a girl!" …Okay so he can lie… 

"Why are you dressing up as one, if you want to impress a girl?" Grandpa arched an eyebrow. 

"Well you see… she's… so… she's a… feminist… and this tournament motto is you know… Girl Power… uh… well that's to say there aren't many female duelist… she's a man-hater… but she likes men… well she hates them… but that's not what I meant… I…I…want to seeher to see that I'm sensitive..." Yugi wasn't able to finish his sentences. The room was getting dizzy and stuffy. He felt he was going to faint any second. 

It didn't' help that both his guardians were standing there, staring at him skeptically. Yugi could see darkness, then brightness, then all over again. There was no doubt that he would faint soon. It seemed that this staring contest going on between him and them was going on for an eternity. 

The silence was broken. 

"How cute!!" Yugi's mother and Grandpa squealed in unison. Yugi jaw dropped in shock. 

"Let me help you, dear, after all you need a women's expertise!" Yugi's mom winked at her son. Yugi chuckled nervously at his mother's sudden willingness. 

"I'll see if I can find time out of my busy schedule to help you." Grandpa shook his head in agreement. 

"Your busy schedule? You sweep outside in the same place all day, how can you not have time?" 

"Have you seen our neighbor? She's hot!" Grandpa went in for a high five from Yugi yet he received instead a slap on the back of his head from Yugi's mom. 

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**Grandpa doesnt' sweep the same place for just cleaning purposes only people! I guess you wanted the Yugi's end result, well HA! Your not getting one till I'm done with Seto, Bakura, Otogi, Joey, and Malik. Review and I'll go faster! These may not seem so funny, but hell even I'm not the comic queen… I'm not hyper, I'm sleep-deprived, and I'm hungry! I think I'll catch a few Z's!**

**REVIEW and I'll give you this… happy smile? I can't give you anything material! It would be wrong if I offered a Yami with every review. (he's not real!) If you believe that then… get help? Kidding! I see "Review and I'll give you a 'something' doll' way too often and wondered if those people were rich, cause I'm gullible, and I truly believed I would get a mini-'something' doll. Damn you, deceiving authors!**

**Next up Seto!**

**Seto: ... this coffee you gave me taste's funny... what's in it?**

**Um... sugar?**

**Seto: So this is what it feels to take sugar, I feel as if I could crack a smile... almost...**

**Review!**   



	4. Seto!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Comments:** There AREN'T any implied romances as of yet! I don't think of this as a romantic fic, probably if I do it will be for humor. If it seems like something is going on between two characters there isn't! 

**Author's note:** I've been updating whenever I've had the chance so far. This will probably be the last update for a bit. Since this fic is going so well my updates won't be so stretched out, it'll probably take 3 days till I update again. My plans also include updating my other two fics, I'm hoping to update those one more time before I give up. I have to get to work on projects and I have a lot studying to do! Hope you understand. I have to study for 3 DIFFERENT schools. One is for a class at a community college, the next for the college I'm actually attending full-time and the last for driving school! GAH! I have till the end of this week to finish everything! 

**Now for my reviewers:**

**Fuzzle** - Thank you! Thank You! Flattery is always welcomed! 

**Hikari** – Yay! You reviewed so you'll get your update. 

**Magicman/Smokegirl** – I 'm sure we can teach all those 'champion duelists' a thing or two! I'm willing to become a partner in crime… what? Who said anything about doing something illegal! You heard nothing! Knowing me though, if I became a Yu-gi-oh character I'd probably kidnap them all in a knapsack (a huge one) and take them to Seto's home since it's so comfy! I'll get the strength to haul them back from somewhere. 

**sakuya** – Trust me, they will have some troubles, but I don't know if it'll be as bad as Yugi. I like Yugi, he's an easy target, not that he's weak but he's vulnerable and I find that an attractive quality. Oh yes, Isis will see her little brother (or should I say sister?), but you have to wait. 

**Georgia** – Yes MORE!! 

**Celtic Guardian Princess** – Yugi can and will lie! MWHAHAHA! It would seem pathetic, in my mind, that he explained that all he wants it the Dark Magician Girl to his guardians. Thank you so much for review, it brightened up this dark, gloomy, rainy day. 

**Now next up, is Seto Kaiba!**

**Seto: (*tied up in a chair*) Lemme go!**

**Oh come now Seto, Yugi's chapter wasn't so bad.**

**Seto: What do you mean! You literally got him get abused by a broom! Why kind of stupid author.... are ...you..?**

**It wasn't intentionally, it's all for humor**

**Seto: I-I-I…slike…shu…s-h-h…**

**Oh look, the drugs in your coffee are taking effect! (*Cooing*) Oh Seto-sama time for your make over! (*Armed with eye liner*)**

**Seto: shupid…. slitch… (*Passes out*)**

**What, What was that? I'm your favorite! Why, thank you! Now on with the fic!**

**Disclaimer:** No, No, and No! I do not own Yu-gi-oh! Ooooh that rhymes!   
  
  
  


**_Chapter 4 The Troubled CEO of KaibaCorp_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Seto Kaiba was not a very happy man. Well, he was a un-happier person this particular day. One day had passed since Pegasus's new tournament was announced. To calm his nerves Seto had decided it would be best to keep busy. However, the words _The Legendary Blue Eyes White Dragon_ played in his head over and over again like a broken record. 

"Stupid, Stupid, Stupid" the CEO sat in his office chair, driving a letter opener several times into a stack of papers. 

"Ni-sama {big brother}." Mokuba chimed, opening the door, popping his cute little head in the room. "Ni-sama?" 

"What is it Mokuba?" Seto asked, slightly mumbling 'Stupid Pegasus' as he took a stab. 

Mokuba grinned timidly "Say, Ni-sama. I got the solution to all your problems!" 

"And what would that be?" Seto took several more rapid strikes saying 'my precious blue eyes' 'damn you Yugi, it somehow your fault' 'I wonder if the new art looks cool?' 

The infuriated Seto exclaimed. "I just can't see my Blue Eyes in the arms of another…" Mokuba giggled, Seto sighed, irritated "Mokuba, I just don't _want_ anyone using them against me. Stop acting so childish!" 

Mokuba smiled, in his mind there played a scene of see his older brother running in cartoon figure form all over the world ripping up any copies of the Blue Eyes White Dragon. He truly loved his brother. Shaking his head, Mokuba returned to reality "Ni-sama, why don't you just have someone use your deck on your behalf!" 

"Let them use my deck!" Seto gasped. "Little brother I couldn't tarnish my cards like that!" 

"Then you'll listen to my idea?" Mokuba grinned from cheek to cheek. 

_"Darn his cuteness!"_ Seto secretly thought. "All right, what is it?" 

"Dress up as a girl!" 

"WHATTTTT!!!!!!" **(A/N I like it when Seto's say "_Nani?"_ In Japanese so I use that a lot. Nani means What in Japanese in case you didn't know.)**

"But you said it was okay if men dressed up as women. Saying it was natural if men did that. That's exactly what you said after Duel Monster's Quest!" **(A/N: Referring to they time Mokuba dressed as the queen/princess that looked like him)**

"That was different!" Seto yelled causing Mokuba's eyes to water "I mean, no it's not!" Seto swallowed his pride. He hated to see Mokuba tear up like that. After the whole ordeal in the virtual world, Mokuba went through a scary phase. Mokuba had found it rather comfortable to dress up in women's clothing, wherever he got them from is still unknown. For the sake of not upsetting him, Seto told Mokuba it was all right for such things to happen and not 'no little brother you're a little freak!' Eventually Mokuba realized that women's clothing weren't his style and let go of that little fetish. 

"I guess, I'll go with your plan" Seto blurted out, but his mind was screaming at him. Why had he agreed to this? 

"Yay!" Mokuba cheered. "Great! I got us some professional help!" 

"Help?" Seto reached to stop his brother "Wait a minute, Mokuba!" 

"I'll be back!" Mokuba said, shutting the door behind him. 

_"Why am I doing this?"_ Seto sat in disbelief. He didn't know that even his little brother could actually force him to participate in such a low act. _Maybe I could just go with this plan for one day...What am I thinking!!!"_

"I'm back!" Mokuba came rushing through the door. 

"Mokuba, I've been thinking maybe--" Seto stopped speaking when he noticed who was walking behind Mokuba. "Kujaku Mai!" 

"Good morning Seto Kaiba!" Indeed in front of him stood Mai Kujaku **(A/N: a.k.a. Mai Valentine, I like her Japanese last name more)** She approached his desk and hopped on it, comfortably adjusting herself. Teasingly she spoke, "I didn't expect you of all people to want my _help_" she giggled at the last part. 

Seto yanked his hair. He was horrified at what Mokuba had done. Did his little brother hate him or something? 

"Ni-sama, I told Mai everything" Seto's mind screamed even louder at Mokuba's statement "She agreed to help!" 

"MOKUBA!!" Seto was covered with sweat. "Whatever my little brother told you was a lie. Children tend to have vivid imagination!" Seto glared threateningly at Mokuba. 

"He's just a little shy," The unfazed Mokuba said. That ended with Seto pounding his head against the desk. 

Mai covered her mouth from laughing too hard. "So the real Seto Kaiba wants to participate in an all-female tournament?" 

"I don't want to anymore!" Seto glared. 

"OH! So it is true! You were thinking of going!" Mai playfully giggled, but ended up in a roar of laughter, Mokuba joining her. 

In frustration Seto buried his face in his hands. **Me and my big mouth.** Peeking through, he could see Mokuba and Mai holding their stomachs from all the laughing. 

"Stop that!" Seto shouted. 

"This'll cost you Kaiba! Oh! But your not participating." Mai mocked as she brought her finger to trace around Seto's desk. "So the Blue Eyes belongs to me then!" 

Seto growled. Mai continued, clasping her hands together "Imagine a Blue Eyes, give it a couple of Dragon Treasures and he'll be unstoppable. Wait, with my Harpy Lady deck though, it won't be that useful. Maybe I'll just keep it somewhere so it can collect dust!" 

"NOOOO!!!" Seto shouted. This time she'd gone TOO far. "All right, all right, but not a word to anyone if you know what's good for you!" 

"Money will make me shut up" Mai winked. 

Seto exhaled sadly. "Money? No wonder." 

"It would be boring tournament otherwise, I want to beat the Blue Eyes White Dragon champion to win a Blue Eyes. With you there it will be a challenge." he stared at her, " The money can help me pay my bills too! I'm running low and a girl's gotta shop!" 

"So all those rich guys are not helping?" Mokuba perked. 

"Eh?" Seto and Mai glared at Mokuba. 

"That's what Ni-sama said. He said you probably swindle old rich guys to give you money for your body." Mokuba grinned. "What does that mean, Mai?" If he was being naïve or not is not known. 

Seto raised his hands defensively "No I didn't! No I didn't! Please don't look at me like that! What are you doing with that…! Put it down! NO stop!!"   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

**Okay that last part was a slight bash but not so bad as to say that a character _actually_ that way. This chapter isn't very funny. It's hard to think of funny things for Kaiba. I'd do anything _to_ him…FOR! I mean I'd do anything _for_ him! Review please!**

**Next up: Malik Ishtar!**

**This will be the easiest one!**

**Malik: HEY! That short shirt drives the women wild!**

**Um... yeah... REVIEW!**


	5. Malik!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Comments: ** Since I like to keep this somewhat close to the original series, I won't give Yami Yugi, Yami Bakura, and Yami Malik there own bodies. I might change that later. The Hikari's share their bodies with their respective Yami's for now. By the way, Yami Malik will be in this fic LATER on, now isn't appropriate. 

**Author's Note: **Okay I know I said I wouldn't update till 3 days from now, but I got bored plus I have a case of insomnia! I think I probably slept a total of… hmm… 2 hours? I wanted to get started on writing on Malik before I forgot what I planned. Only three reviews this time, I think I know why. It's not a very good idea to update on Sundays when FFnet has the most problems. 

**To my reviewers:**

**Trupana**, wouldn't it be great if I could write a Seto/Mai! That's a couple I'd like to see! Unfortunately I don't want to start romance just yet or even have one, I'm not sure! If I did, it'll be, well, I don't know who'd I pair up! Someday I'll write a Seto/Mai for my own fetish reasons! (The little devil on my shoulder tells me so!) Sometimes writers have their preferred couplings, so it's hard for me to decide on which one should be used. I don't want this story to be too romantically involved anyways. I'm intrigued by the idea, though! Don't worry I'll give you hints, since you asked so nicely! **(^_^)**Wait for later chapters, I have to finish Joey, Bakura, and Otogi first. 

S**weetCandie** and **Sailor Comet**, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! You two are such wonderful reviewers! Thanks for the ideas! Both of you suggested that I used Ryou, I was thinking in terms of using Ryou, but now by your reviews I now know how to! A little light bulb in my head clicked! Wahahahahahahaha! Well you'll have to wait and see Bakura's tranformation! He's the hardest for me to grasp since he's such a cuttie! 

I'm sorry to say I didn't watch most of the series at the beginning. I began watching around the Pegasus vs. Yugi duel, so… hehehe… I don't know very much about anything before that particular saga. HOWEVER, I have seen COMPLETELY all of Battle City to the beginning of Noa's appearance and I've gone to several sites that explain where the manga is so far. I know enough to know a bit of the characters, but not too much. The series is AWESOME later on. It's driving me nuts that I haven't been able to finish the Noa episodes. My DVD stops right when it was getting interesting. 

**Malik-kun, oh Malik-kun, where are you?**

**Malik: (*muffled*) Leave me alone! Rishid, help!**

**Oh come now, I'm sleepy, don't make me take my imaginary hammer out and bash you!**

**Malik: You wouldn't dare! I have fan girls too!**

**Yeah right! Like I'm afraid. I'll be just like Indiana Jones! I'll just use my whip, which by the way could be used for other purposes if you get my drift (*wink*) , to escape and charter a plane out of here! It's a perfect plan! Snakes will be the only thing I fear! Bring on the fan girls! I fear nothing!**

**Malik: Look, you psycho! First, you're afraid of EVERYTHING! Next, you're talking to Microsoft Word, thinking I'm Malik, and that I'm hiding in the closet--!**

**AH-HA! So you're hiding in the closet!!**

**Malik: …oh damn…**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Microsoft Word, Indiana Jones, Blockbuster or Yu-gi-oh… did it even make sense that I wanted to be Indiana Jones? He's sexy and I'm well not…! But I think it be fair if I force the gang to cross dress that I should do the same! 

**WARNING: **There's a warning? Yes my friends there is. I might have gone slightly too far with this particular chapter. There's a scene involving a bit of Yaoi but nothing that will make you run off screaming, it's supposed to be funny! Sorry to say I don't write that kind of stuff unless it's for humor.   
  
  
  


**_Chapter 5 The Caped Leader of the Rare Hunters_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Sir, I've brought you what you asked for." Rishid said while spreading all the garments, jewelr, and accessories on a huge bed. 

"Help me into this dress Rishid!" Malik huffed, while jumping up and down. Malik was unable to reach the zipper in the back of the dress, and was struggling his hardest to reach it. 

"Malik-sama" Rishid wanted to plead, but stopped speaking, _"Ah, I give up! Let the little twerp make an ass of himself"_

"Rishid! Help me!" Malik frowned. "Blasted thing! How the hell do you get it on?" Malik continued to jump up and down and up and down. 

Rishid could only sadly sigh, "I don't think I want to help you destroy yourself" 

"Don't make me go 'Matrix' style on you Rishid. I can make scary karate sounds." Malik threatened. 

"Sir, it's what you saw was just a movie!" Rishid exclaimed, doubting Malik could pull out any moves by wearing that dress. 

"That reminds me, make reservations for the next screening! I say this Sunday would be great!" 

"Malik-sama, this weekend is the tournament!" Rishid stated, not forgetting to murmur, "it's not even playing you--!" 

"What the hell is wrong with you Rishid!?!? You tried to make reservations when I have to be at the tournament!!" Malik scolled. "If I didn't need you, I'd sooo fire you!" 

"If you don't recall, your not permitted to leave the shadows of our home until the tournament! Our people--" 

"Now that was a good movie!" 

"It wasn't even a movie, it's a mere sentence!" Rishid shouted. "Why? Oh Why did they build that underground Blockbuster for you!" 

"It gets boring down here!" Malik pouted "You can't you plot to kill the Pharaoh all day long! That Blockbuster is a shrine! My people suffered for it!" 

"They suffered because of the Pharaoh! Oh why do I even bother?" Rishid moaned while looking to sky as if it had the answer. 

"Get to work Rishid!" Malik pointed to the zipper on his back. 

"Malik-sama…fine…" Rishid had to blame all this on the fact that Malik hadn't gotten out very much. Sadly, the Ishtars were to live in the Shadows to protect the Millennium Tauk **(A/N: Necklace)** and Millennium Rod. Seemed after Malik was placed in charge he created a tiny food court and other variety shops, his favorite was of course 'The Gurus Cape O' Rama'. The boy wanted to make the best mall there was! But let's not forget they're in Egypt, and who'd come underground to a mall anyways? "Malik-sama, it's not going up! I'm afraid you're not as petit as Isis-sama" 

"Okay I have an idea!" Malik proclaimed. "I'll lay down on the bed, holding my breathe will make my tummy go flat while you pull up on the zipper! I've seen women do that when they put on jeans, it looks simple!" 

"All right, then" Rishid felt wigged out by getting into an uncomfortable situation. 

Malik crawled on top of the bed and lay down. He sucked in all the air he could to flatten his stomach in as much as possible. Rishid proceeded with the horrible task of zipping up his master's dress. 

"Do it harder Rishid!" 

"I'm trying!" 

"OW that hurts!" 

"I'm sorry, it just got caught on something, I'll try harder!" 

"Hurry up! I want it done now! They say that this was supposed to quick and easy!" 

The door creaked, and then a loud scream followeed by a loud thud! 

"Eh?" Malik looked behind him shocked to see that his sister, Isis, had been occupying the doorway and is now laying unconcious. 

Malik and Rishid at each other and screamed in unison. Rishid apparently was on top of Malik and the situation didn't appear good. "GET OFF!" Malik panicked, kicking Rishid off of him. "Ne-san, it's not what you think! Wake up! Oh no… OH NO!" 

Later. 

"So… let me get this straight" Isis spoke "You weren't doing anything wrong?" 

"Ne-san, how can you say such things" Isis eyed the dress Malik was wearing. "Okay, I'll explain, it all started with--RISHID HITTING ME ON THE HEAD!!" 

"Isis-sama, don't listen to him! He's entering that all-female tournament!" Rishid pleaded, who was busy fanning Isis after her passing out. 

"Did I say you could stop fanning me?" Isis glared at Rishid, who was not happy with neither one of them. "Of course he's lying! He's Malik! The one who made copies of the Kuriboh and peddled them off as rare cards." 

_"Stupid ungrateful kids…"_ Rishid thought as he continued to fan Isis, he pleaded with Isis, "Isis-sama, could you please talk him out of it?" 

"Malik-kun, why are you participating?" Isis asked rather coldly. 

"Ne-san, if I participate I might get those rare cards to copy! Plus I saw you on T.V. and I wanted to participate too!" Malik pouted slightly, hoping to score points with Isis. 

"Well I forgive you little brother, but I think you'll need my help, too. Rishid will help too!" Isis smiled. "Isn't that right Rishid?" 

_"Like I have a choice."_ Rishid unhappily thought. 

"You should know Malik" Isis grinned, "Rishid does a killer make over! Who do you think taught me all I know?" 

"Isis-sama, I thought we were going to keep that between us!" Rishid protested. 

"Oh come on, why Rishid taught me about my monthly visitor, he was so gentle, so caring. Like a mother" Isis grinned even wider. 

Rishid bowed his head in defeat; he didn't want to be embarrassed front of Malik!Nnow he'd probably look even sadder in Malik's eyes. 

"What's a monthly visitor?" Malik asked quizzically. "Is there some uncle I dont' know about!" 

Well… maybe not…. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

(***In the Indiana Jones outfit*) I don't think I could pull this off! Who wants to see Yami in this outfit instead? Okay, I know Malik's OOC in this story and so is Rishid, oh hell everyone is, but I like them this way. I got somewhat dirty in this chapter, sorry about that! Not as good as the last chapter but I'm sleepy! I'll probably make changes later.**

**Next up Joey!**

**Joey: NO!! Stay away you heathen! (*Runs away*)**

**(*Uses whip to catch Joey and yanks him back*) See, a whip has other purposes!**

**Review!**


	6. Hello!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

In accordance to FF.net's new rules, this was NEVER an author's note chappie. Got it? 

Okay, you know I'm lying, but okay, let me tell you a story then and now this chapter will no longer be an author's note. 

One time, me and my cousin were watching Yu-Gi-Oh, this was a RAW episode. Did we understand anything? No. But it was fun. 

End of Story. 

LOL. I'm such a dork. Okay, here's the real story. 

The animation was sort of off, well anyways they placed the angle of the picture up, so that you'd be watching the characters from above. Kaiba's white trenchcoat looked why out of proportion. 

So Kaiba's running, acutally the whole group was running, including Joey, Mokuba, Tristan, Tea,and Yugi. 

I point out the extra long cape. Now, my cousin loves to make fun of Kabia. He then began to make a mockery of him. In his best Kaiba impersentation he said, "Mokuba, hold down my wedding dress!" 

Okay, I didn't want to admit it was funny, but it was. They why it looked and the way he was running... it could of been possible. 

Why tell you this story? It was the only one I could think off. 

Sorry if grammar and spelling is off. I wrote this without the help of a spell check. Bye-Bye!   
  
  



	7. Joey!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note: All reviews from chapter 6 will be responded next chapter! I'm REALLY impressed by those I've gotten so far. Blame my laziness that I won't comment in this chapter! Gomen~!**

**sakuya** – Yeah, I went a little too far with Malik, but I was thinking about this on my way back from McDonalds, perhaps maybe that explains that scene… 

**ACME-Rian** – I like your advice but I hope you understand I got the appearance all fixed in my head already, especially concerning the puzzle. HOWEVER, I like the purple-black dress and white boots, could I use that idea please? 

**Hikari** – Yami Bakura _would_ resemble a female the most (Ryou's voice, hair, eyes), but well it'd be weird if he didn't fix himself up, plus where's the fun in that? (Thanks or suggesting!) Concerning Kaiba, I just don't know! I'm so complex! 

**Rubycon** **Cream** – KAWAII! Now your putting pressure on me, no, I'm only kidding **(*starts sweating uncontrollably*)**. Thank your sister for me! Your review was just what I needed! No seriously, you gave me a boost of energy! Your so kind, hope I don't let you down with this fic! 

**Magicman/Smokegirl** – HA! I knew you'd follow my unjust ways! Actually you are the one to guess what I had planned for Bakura-chan by having Tea enter the scene! We think alike, wait… it's like you're reading my mind… hmmm… I'm starting to become suspicious of you…. LOL, only kidding! **(*GLARE*)**

**Trupana** – That sucks that you had to review a second time, I'm going on hiatus because my computer keeps freezing! I have to do something about that soon! Yeah I made Isis OOC too, whoops! I thought I made her sound angry… guess not! Besides that please send me in your work, I'd love to read it! I don't have any other way of contacting you, so please send them to me by e-mail. Rishid can of course help you for prom! After all he runs the salon in the underground mall! 

**SweetCandie** – Ah, my fateful friend. Don't mind me calling you friend, do you? You've been a great push for me to hurry the hell up! Thanks for being my reviewer! It's been an honor! 

**Sincere Angel **- BWHAHAAHAHA I'm glad you love my fic. I'm getting to Bakura after this chapter. I hesitate since EVERYONE LOVES RYOU (instead of Raymond, he can get lost when it comes to Ryou!). Show more of Bakura dammit!! Rally with me, pick up your pitchforks and let's… let's swim for Japan to protest since I'm to poor to pay for transportation! Who's with me!?!? 

**Sailor Comet **– My buddy! Can I call you that! It's been a pleasure to get all those reviews for my story! I saw your fan art of Trowa for St. Pattie's it was so cute! Truly talented artist you are! I tried to see the others but noooo my screwy computer will only let me use WORD or go to sites that are already in my History! (It's on life support!!) I'm anxious to see the rest of your work! I got a glimpse of your profile too before my computer starting having its 'episodes' and your profile is awesome! You have a lot of things to say that are so insightful! 

**Nanaki-sei-san** – Oh yes, Yugi will be humiliated like the rest! But is it only limited to him or to a certain Yami? 

**Now for Janouchi!**

**Joey: (*still tied up in the whip*) I don't think that's how you spell my name in Japanese… even I don't know since your writing what I say!**

**Be quiet Bishie and do my bidding!**

**Joey: No can do! I'm figment of your imagination, so unless you're thinking—**

**Too late! OH yeah…**

**Joey: (-_-)**

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to I! I own nothing!**   
  
  
  


**_Chapter 6 The One Who Can't Give Up!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  


"Crayons… check! Markers…check! Watercolor paint… check! Yup this isn't' going to work!!!" Joey threw the art sets against the wall. Indeed it was hard to find any sort of make-up in a male dominant apartment. Instead, Joey should be thanking his lucky stars there wasn't, he wasn't about to wonder why there'd be any in the first place! 

All Joey could do was bow his head in defeat, he wasn't very happy! First he was happy, then sad, then happy, and sad all over again! Talk about mood swings! 

"What am I thinking, I'm Joey, Number 2 at duelist kingdom!" Joey proclaimed. "I'll do what any duelist would do… I'll call mom!" 

On the phone, 

"Yeah I know mom! No I don't need to go see Dr. Morales, your psychiatrist! What, oh yeah dad's not going out late at night, why? What do you mean has he become a vamp? I didn't know vampires existed! That's mean to say mom, I'm sure dad didn't drop me on my head as a child! No, and this has nothing to do with me dressing up in your clothes when I was younger! What? Can you at least sent Serenity over? She's already on her way here? No mom, I'm sure the police have better things to do then stop my sister from coming over her. Is there something happening in this area I should be aware of? Two men that are dangerous for society live around in this area? Mom do you think I should be careful? No? What do you mean no unless 'you do harm to yourself '? Yes I still like girls… Stop repeating, "My son's become a pie!" Is that old term slang or something that I've become a pie? What? You said, 'bye'? Okay mom BYE!" click, Joey hung up the phone and waited for his sister's visit. 

Later, 

_" When Serenity gets here, maybe she can help, but what do I say?"_ Joey thought, as he plomped onto his bed. " 'Sis, your big brother needs you help, dress me up as a woman!' Naw she'll probably freak out and say 'you're gonna make me go blind again brother!' " 

"Son, " Joey turned to view his father at the doorway. "… We need to talk…" 

"What is it dad?" 

Joey's father sat himself at the edge of Joey's bed "You mother just called. I know I haven't' been around lately. I'm not the best father in the world, since I _should_ have noticed when you had left for that Magic Kingdom…" 

"Duelist Kingdom, dad, Duelist!" 

"Whatever son" Joey's father sighed. "I'm here to say that, son, do you know the difference between Mickey and Minnie Mouse?" 

"Um… sure dad… but its Duelist Kingdom!" 

"Okay I'm going to try to use figures that you could relate to, seeing as you have that thing for the Magic Kingdom and stuff" can hear Joey repeat 'Duelist Kingdom!' "Well let's take Minnie and Mickey Mouse for an example, do you know what each one looks like?" 

"Yay those are really nice hot pants that Mickey wears!" Joey said, recalling this one time this girl had those same pair of pants on. 

"No, son! No don't think like that!" Joey's father couldn't believe that his son was interested in Mickey's hot pants inside of Minnie's! "That's what the shark, I mean your mother, asked me to talk to you about! Maybe I can help you." 

"Your going to help me!" Joey was relieved that his father would have to help him rather than his sister Serenity. 

"Son, aren't you the least bit interested in Minnie Mouse?" Joey's dad asked hoping for the right answer. 

"Dad, she's a cartoon, yeah but I 'd be interested in her, I guess" At this time, Joey was willing to give any answers, he's dad was creeping him out. 

"So it's it true you've turned into a bi…" Joey's dad trailed off. 

"How come you and mom keep referring me to a pie?" Obviously Joey misunderstood the word 'bi' with pie again "Dad, I don't know the language that you used to use back in the day! Are you going to help me or not?" 

"Yes, son." Joey's father tearfully said, "I'm going to help you… by having you get _professional_ help!" 

"Cool, when can we get to a beauty salon?" Joey would rather have some one who knew what they were doing transform him into a girl. 

_"Ah, my poor boy, you're in denial"_ Joey's father sadly thought, as her ran out hiding away those fatherly tears, leaving Joey rather perplexed by his father's actions. 

"Hey brother!" Serenity Wheeler walked into his room. "What's up with dad? Why he's sobbing in the corner?" 

"Don't know sis…" Joey replied, he changed the subject "So, how was your trip over here?" 

"It was okay" Serenity sweetly responded, giving Joey one of her classic smiles. "The world is so much beautiful when you can see!" 

"I promise you Serenity that I'll take to you to see more beautiful places!" Joey declared, "First stop, the Liquor store!" 

"Your lame, brother!" Serenity sweat-dropped. 

"I'm only playing with ya, sis" Joey scratched the back of his head, he loved playing with his sister's head "Well since Dad is acting weird, I might as well ask you." 

"Ask me what?" Serenity curiously bobbed her head. 

"Sis, my dear sweet sister! Remember all those times we played 'house'?" 

"Unfortunately, yes… do you want to play now?!?! Is that what you're asking?" 

"No! I play with cards, now! You haven't told anybody about me and the Mrs. Wiggleworth phase?" 

"Don't worry I haven't" Serenity smiled, then thinking _ "But thanks for reminding me?"_ looking forward to the blackmail later. 

"Have you heard of the tournament that Pegasus is having?" 

"Yes, I'm sorry I don't get the chance to see brother fight in a true duel. I've waited for the day to see big brother play to become a true duelist!" 

Inside, Joey could feel himself tear up! "Sis," He placed his hands on his sister's shoulder, holding back the happy tears "You'll get to see your brother play!" 

"REALLY?!?" 

"Yes, by having me dress as a girl!" 

"Get your hands off of me!" 

"No, sis really! I need to the Blue Eyes to beat that stuck up Kaiba! Imagine me using the Blue Eyes and beating Yugi with the one thing that Kaiba couldn't. Oh sweet beautiful revenge!" 

"On Yugi?" 

"NO! Kaiba! Yugi's my little buddy!" Joey corrected her. "This tournament only allows women to participate, I beg you, help me turn me into a girl!" 

Serenity scrunched her nose a little. She didn't like the look of this. "I guess so, but we have to get to work right away!" She began to take a long hard look at her older brother; definitely it wasn't going to be an easy task! 

"Thanks Serenity, but do you know what's the deal with Dad with Mickey and Minnie? Do you think has some kind of fetish or somethin'?" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

**I leave it at that; I have to get ready for school! I took a look at all my chapters and realized they're very short! So I'll try to gradually increase length of the chapters from now on**

**On a side note I got the Japanese 4th opening for Yu-gi-oh titled "Warriors." It's a wonderful addition! I love all the openings, 1st opening (Cloud I think is it's name), 2nd opening "Shuffle" and 3rd opening "Wild Drive". The songs and animation are all spectacular! Hey, has anyone seen the Japanese 1st opening with Yugi riding on the Curse of Dragon and Kaiba flies on the Blue Eyes? When I saw that, it was beyond awesome! I became fixated on that, I think that's my favorite scene! Why didn't they show that in the English? I recommend that if you can, download these openings! They always gave me Goosebumps!**

**Next up Baku-Baku-kun.**

**Bakura: It's Bakura, you idiot!**

**You can call me foolish mortal!**

**Bakura: (*sweatdrop*)**

**REVIEW!! Make me go faster by reviewing!**


	8. Bakura!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Comments: This chapter is totally unedited and I wrote in the morning, i'll probably re-write it later on. It sucks, I don't like it very much!! But if I post it up, it's more likely I'll reedit sooner and not leave you guys hanging.**

BEFORE I forget, **_Fushigi Yugi_** also inspired this idea! I completely forgot. 

**Author's Note: **GAH! I've been gone for a long time. I said five days max huh? What I mean was five times 2 days which equals... 14? … Not buying it are you? Oh well sorry about that, want to know my excuse besides my laziness… no? What do you mean "no"? You're going to have to read it or skip this… HEY are you skipping my Author's note? !?!? 

Well, I had a midterm announced the day I posted the last chapter and boom it was reading, and studying till my eyes were burned with those evil "variables"… damn math…. I apologize for the last 'crappy' chapter, I wrote while I was babysitting and I saw this figurine of Mickey and Minnie and an idea popped in my head. It was stupid! Ah well I wrote it and post it what I'm I going to do about it. I'll thank you people at the end of the chapter for the Names, look, etc! Or look at chapter 6! 

Box 4 (episodes 93-120) or Vol. 12 (episodes 113-120) just came out and OMG people its soooooo GOOD!! Only problem, they didn't include the VERY last episode of the Noa series. AHHH!! It almost made me pull my hair out! Oh well… (*Cries*) Poor Noa, oh, poor, poor, diabolical Noa. (At first you dislike the little guy, but his life is so sad!) 

**Random Rockstar** – Thank you buddy! Ah I think I talk to you a lot through E-mail, so I'm lacking some words at the moment. Thanks for the support, my Bishie obsessed friend! 

**Bigfuzzydiceperson** - Yes I like I MY ME Strawberry Eggs, haven't finished it yet though. 

**unicornfan** – Wah! How cool a person are you? Yeah I went ahead and fixed the Japanese problem a bit. Sorry I understand some people don't know some of those words. There's problem's with that kind of thing in fanfiction. I wish I could stop, but it purely accidental at times! Sorry! 

**Trupana** – I don't think Joey is stupid, only really naïve! I wrote the fic too fast like this chapter so it didn't' come out right. By the way did you see the openings yet? 

**Angel Black** – It came from this stupid game I used to play as a kid, if you like Mickey and you were a boy I called you a, well I thought you'd like the same sex. Sorry it was lame! 

**SweetCandie** – Thanks again, wow you review for me a lot. I feel very loved. **(*Sniffle*)**

**Secret Keeper** - You'd think I knew that I was weird… but I don't! I'm normal dammit! LOL, thanks for reviewing! 

**Cettie-girl** – The pressure you put on me!! Only kidding, but don't get your hopes too high with this chapter. 

**ShadowHawk26** – Cross-dressing fics scare me too. Maybe I'm getting a scare from writing this, hm…? I don't want them too be too comfortable with cross-dressing, it wouldn't be funny anyways. I don't think I'll have intentional romance, can't stomach it so don't worry too much. 

**Sailor Comet** - Me, shameless? Why of course. I'll join gwnation.net if I could, but this isn't my computer so as soon as mine is fully repaired I'll join! Yeah rushed dialogue like this chapter. I think I'm burned out! 

**KeMu** – Thanks! Yeah I was on a high that day, coke can be so sweet… yes… sweet delicious Coke-a-Coca! **(*Shifty eyed*)**. I'm slow, so sorry for lack of in updates! 

**Shadow-Mistress** – I'll continue! I have to! This idea is very tempting for me not to finish! 

**ACME-Rian** – Thanks! I appreciate the help! 

**Hikari ** - PRESSURE!!! **(*Goes bonkers*)** I hope Baku-Baku-kun can forgive me for tainting his good name. 

**Celtic Guardian Princess** –** (*GASP*)** your review… it's so naughty! I wish I were uh… that too... only with all of them… **(*GASP*)** I'm kidding ya! Sorry I don't like OC/other characters. But don't worry I won't treat Pegasus like a piece of meat. Poor guy! I wish I could use your plot, but oh I feel bad. Bad Yogi! Third person writing is cool… oh I drifted again…hm… lemme see… ah your review gives me an idea for a scenario… perhaps you'll like it, you gave me an idea, oh yes an evil one! 

**Xion** – I have no shame!! I like 'Dealer' it's cool! Thanks for reviewing!   


**So here we go, chapter 7 with none other than Bakura!**

**(*Sniffle*)**

**Bakura: What's the matter with you? Your not, well you know… stupid foolish women troubles…? (*Nervous cough*)**

**(*Sniffle*) It's so sad… Final Fantasy VII always made me cry…**

**Bakura: (*doesn't have a clue, and probably the rest of you don't either*) Seeing as you have me chained to the floor I don't see how this is RELEVANT!!**

**But, Baku-Baku-kun… what I'm I to do! Now I got the feeling I have to place you and someone together because you never know when some evil villain may come sweeping down, killing one of your potential love interest!**

**Bakura: (*thinking of bloodshed*) Here's to hoping!**

**(-_-) Anyways, I'm over it now, you can be lonely for the time being! Now on with the fic!**

**Bakura: (*realizes what I had just said*) No, wait! Keep playing that game! I want some action!**

**Too late, the damage is done! (*Sniffle*) I'll try to be brave!**

**Disclaimer:** I own this pencil **(*breaks*) **ah hell… I own nothing now… oh how sad for me!   
  
  
  


**_The Thief among Thieves…(lousy title)_**

  
  
  
  
  


"Urgh… my head… oh… no, not again…" 

Ryou Bakura woke up in his room with another splitting headache. This morning like others, for unexplained reasons, Ryou had found himself lying on the floor in his room. This wasn't the problem though. For in his hand, there clutched a large 'hefty' bag that was labeled in whiteout "BaKuRa's 'borrowed' stuff" and he was wearing, sadly, a black and white stripped prison clothes with a matching cape. 

"Why does this keep happening?" Oh, poor, deceived Hikari {Light} Ryou Bakura, he had no idea that for after Yami Bakura had seen this one McDonald's commercial, he thought that what the HamBurglar was wearing was in style for thieves. How easy one can be deceived by those stereotypical media people!!! 

He rumaged throught he belongings, "Let's see… uh… Looks like I have, wow it's pricey… Oh, GREAT! Now I have to go to the department store to all return this!" Ryou groaned, thinking _he'd_ purchased the items on some crazy binge and not stolen items. "This has been going on too long! Either someone's slipping something into my tea or I…It couldn't be… oh shoot… the ring _still_ around my neck! You've been causing this mess haven't you, you evil ring!!" 

Without a moment's thought, Ryou snatched off the Millennium item around his neck and tossed it around the window. He wiped his hands and turned, "And that's the end of that—ooof!" 

Ryou was rendered unconscious, the Millennium Ring, acting with it's mysterious, yet coincidental powers, came through the window like a boomerang hitting Ryou behind the head. A moment passed, Ryou sprinted back up, and grinned evilly. 

"Ah, I love doing that" Instead of Hikari Ryou waking up, it was Yami Bakura! Quickly he dusted himself off, " Ah, much better. Ryou will never know how I keep coming back." he shot out a cold laugh "I'll never tire of this ring's power, oh, I love this Ring!" Very unlike Bakura he picked up the ring and hugged it. (Nothing came between a Yami and his Millennium Item!) 

"All right" Bakura regained his composure, he wasn't one to appear too soft, even to his Millennium Item. "Time to plot!" 

Moments later Yami Bakura was hard at work, plotting his ingenious idea on paper. It was perfect, and all great masters of thievery know the best laid plans are best thought of first… or something like that Bakura never got that stupid phrase right. **(A/N: or is it me?)**

_"Okay… good… first I'll....!"_ Bakura pondered, as he continued to scribble, and he scribbled some more. "Ah-ha perfect! Wait this is a drawing of me killing the Pharaoh! I should really stop hitting my host's head so many times…" Bakura took a second to think. "Nah!" 

This continued for a while until finally Bakura evilly congratulated himself. 

"It's time to celebrate!" Yami Bakura thought rather cheerfully, those bongs on the head must be getting to him! "No wait… this is a list of who I want dead… Kaiba, Pharaoh, the paper boy, that talking parrot, my host, (authoress)… it's a long list" He rubbed the back of his head, and threw his paper and pencil down "Ah, screw this, time for some five-finger discount! Maybe that'll bring me back to normal. Ow, damn…double doors? Since when...? Blasted... triple doors?!?!!" 

Later, 

In front of a department store, without wearing the Hamburglar outfit, Yami Bakura walked out feeling good with himself. "Ah good ol' 'everything-is-free-for-Bakura' sale!" 

"Excuse me!" 

Bakura froze. He'd been caught! A mortal had caught the greatest thief of his time! Not just any mortal it was eight dollars an hour mortal at that. It was very humiliating for him to be caught by such a person. How was he going to face himself ever again? 

"Ma'am you dropped this?" 

_"Ma'am!?!?" _ Bakura screamed in his mind. _"What the hell is this fool's problem? Someone's just asking for it, oh dear sweet Ra, he's asking for it!"_

He nearly leaped into attack position, but as his body shifted, a piece of merchandise that he'd just, um, borrowed fell out of place. Apparently, he'd hidden all the items under his sweater. **(A/N: those bulky sweaters are useful for other reasons)** As he made a quick grab, Bakura finally saw something horrific. For some cruel twist of fate, the 'borrowed' shirt that was under his sweater made an two, very coincidental, "shapes". Bakura's jaw dropped, oh how could this have happened? 

_"Damn five-finger discount, why can't I kick that stupid habit?"_ Bakura muttered under his breath..He cursed at his 'other self' Ryou. It was entirely his fault! If only he'd wear something besides this accursed white sweater than perhaps Yami Bakura didn't have to, no, actually he'd continue to steal, only he'd steal other things! 

"Ma'am" Bakura's eyes twitched as the guard spoke "Are your feet tired?" 

Bakura only shook his head, rather confused. Did this man really believe _he_ was a woman? Sure, his other self was not the manliest of men, but even an idiot could tell the difference! 

"Cause' you've been running in my mind all day!" Well, almost any idiot could… Bakura thought,_"Why the hell did he confuse me by saying I've been running through his head all day? I didn't know I developed that power!!"_

"What…?" Bakura said hoarsely, his eyes snapped. Obviously he had a break, being he was a master of deception, he could fool everyone into thinking he was the kind Ryou, he might have his try at playing the part of a female. EVEN playing the part might make him lose more dignity, but his pride, as an artist of deception was more important! And the fact he'd be jailed if he didn't at least attempt to make the man believe he was indeed a female. He cleared his throat and in the best high-pitched voice that he could manage, "I mean, what?" 

"So what you say, honey?" Bakura's eyes twitched again, the officer continued speaking " Want to meet me after my shift?" 

Bakura started to feel fluttered, "Ho-hoo" as if on instinct, the nervous, yet feminine laugh of came out of his mouth. Mentally, he slapped himself _"WHAT AM I DOING?!? By now I should be ripping a certain organ out of this man or something!!! I shouldn't even have considered playing along!"_

Before Bakura could launch his attack, the walkie-talkie the guard carried went off. "Sorry, sweet thing gotta go duty calls! I'll see you around!" The security guard turned and left. 

_"Sweet…"_ twitch. _"Thing"_ twitch. "Oh, That's it! 

"Bakura?" a female voice called out. 

"Huh? Oh Tea!" As he turned he saw that Tea Gardner walking up to him. He didn't want to raise any suspicions, he breathed in, cooled his jets and acted like he other self would, "How are you?' 

"Bakura, um, what are you?" Tea's eyes drifted to Bakura's chest. 

"You mean this? Oh well um it's for a…." _Say something! Anything!_ " A… party... er… play, yeah." _Real smooth Bakura._

"Sure…" Tea grinned, maybe she did believe or not. As she continued talking Bakura immediately fumbled to remove the shirt from under his sweater. "Listen, Bakura I'm going to buy some lunch want to come along?" 

"NO! … I mean no thank you!" Bakura was this close to losing it. 

"All right… I have to go to the Game Shop later to buy new cards. I'm going to participate in the next tournament! Maybe even win me that Dark Magician Girl" Tea smiled. "I saw the show when I was in New York that stared the Dark Magician Girl and I immediately wanted that card!" Tea smiled. 

"Actually Tea, I was wondering if you where thinking of going to that tournament, maybe I could come along?" An idea popped into Bakura's head. Indeed Bakura would use Tea to his advantage. 

Tea nervously laughed, "Um, Bakura, men aren't allowed on the premises where the tournament is being held." 

"What?!?!?" Bakura yelled in surprise, "What do you mean?" 

"…There isn't any way, no men allowed! That's what the brochure and the announcement said. Pegasus won't allow any other spectators until the finals." 

_"I knew I should have seen the whole thing!"_ Bakura thought. "Um, Tea I would really like to go!" 

"Sorry, Bakura no can do." 

Oh how Bakura was on the verge of tears... or more like on ther verge of pummling the nearest object! "There's...no...way....?" 

"No" she let out a small laugh, "There is no way unless you're a female, well actually…" 

"What? What's that look in your eye? Stop it! It's giving me the creeps." 

"Well Bakura, you looked very convincing a while ago.... I don't know... mabye... If you wanted to be in a play as a woman, why not join the tournament as a woman! Think of it as one big play!" 

_"Couldn't have just said 'it's none of your business, now could I?" _Yami Bakura realized his earlier words. Bakura forced himself to scratch his head, how he hated acting goody-two-shoes. "_Ryou, why do you make me act like you in this way, why couldn't you loot, drink, or other illegal activity like I did! It was good back then! Oh Egypt I miss thee."_

"All you need is a little bit of a woman's touch. I'll help you! What do you say?" Tea smiled. 

"NO! I mean, yes! I mean No! " Bakura fought with himself, would he actually stoop as low as to dress up in women's clothes and act, all to get one Millennium Item… hell yeah! Barely he was able to utter the words, "I could give it a go…" 

"Great! Then it's settled! Come over my house later!" Oh yes, Tea had that look in her eye. It was going to be an amusing makeover! One, she'd get to try her new line of cosmetics and two, Ryou was the perfect test subject. Her own personal Guinea Pig! 

"Hey you stop right there!" a voice called, a police officer came running up to them, a police baton in hand. 

"Uh-oh… gotta go" Quickly Bakura searched for an excuse "… left the, oh hell screw this!" He pushed Tea out of the way and made a break for it. 

"Wait Bakura!" Tea followed suite. "You forgot your… $500 watch?!?! Where are you going?!" 

"Uh…" Bakura yelled back. "I'm deathly afraid of police officers!! AH!! See its fear! I have to leave! Don't worry I'm not in trouble or anything!..." he continued running, "Come on legs, run faster!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

I thought this chapter to be a bit lame. When the pressures on I get nervous, so, well so many people like Bakura, it got to me. Anyways next chapter Otogi! 

**Otogi: …**

**Ah, the silent type.**

**Otogi: It's more fear actually…**

**….**

**Review**!   
  



	9. Otogi!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Comments:** I watched Dungeon Dice Monsters episodes to prepare for this chapter (Yeah that's the excuse). 

**Author's Note:** AH! I got more submissions for the makeovers. I wasn't expecting anyone to submit anymore, I just wanted to post the results. It's cool though; I don't have to think up much more on my own! Well, the FULL results will be answered once the makeovers are over! Sorry I'm just too lazy to list it all again… (Snickers: Laziness another side effect of hunger!) It keeps the suspense or lack of one… ah well just wait, pweety-please? 

Besides that** I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING** for this chapter. I think I forced this chapter a bit. Sorry I like Otogi, just as I like Kaiba, actually not as much as Kaiba, Kaiba's my Kami-sama! I couldn't humiliate him, only torture! MWHAHAHAHA! 

Also I wasn't thinking too much on grammar or anything! I'm tired! 

**My Reviewers: **(I feel so happy!) 

**Dee-whY-Cee-aRe** – Why, thank you! You like my fic? That's nice of you to leave such a comment. Dee-whY-Cee-aRe, can I use Marduk for Malik's last name? 

**SweetCandie** – Ah SweetCandie, your so sweet… love puns, I tells ya! Yup I'm back! Sadly I have too much going on! I'm hoping to get to the makeovers as soon as Otogi and one or two more chapters. I'll try to hurry up. I loved all your submissions so far, but I have to play fair after all, so I couldn't use them all! 

**Dreamy-eyes** – Yay! I'm on a fav. List! Thanks! I didn't know if anyone liked this story enough to think of it as a fav. That's VERY cool of you! Now I'm too happy for this family, good for me, bad for them! 

**sakuya** – Well, Bakura's Japanese voice is done by a woman so I can imagine it very well! I was thinking of that type of voice and completely forgot about the English version! It would be very hard to picture that! 

**humor_writer2** – Thank you! I try VERY hard. It's not easy for me to write. At first I was doing it for practice and to keep me busy. My writing skills are very poor, while my mathematical are… somewhat poor too? Yeah, so have to keep writing, right? 

**Magicman/Smokegirl** - A CCS fan, huh? Yup, I love Syoaron, he's so cute! Whahaha! Sakura and him are cute together! Thanks again, my Aibou in crime! 

**Trupana** – I LOVED the name "Devlina" but I liked Decia as well and the best combination was to use it as a last name, hope that's okay. Yes, I tried hard to use everyone suggestions, I feel as if my reader should help with my creativity. Don't know, maybe its a little thing I have for fan fiction. I read that Mai/Seto fic you have, "My Only Hope"! Genius! It was awesome. The one with even a tint of Isis/Seto in it, well I couldn't read it. It's a personal problem I have with the couple. Don't dislike the couple, only I have my REASONS not to support it. If you want to know the whole story, I can't mention it here because it might be false, perhaps I could tell you personally some day. 

**Cettie-girl** – I thought up that the Mill. Ring must act as a boomerang, how else would the ring keep coming back time after time? That hit to the head was something new for me! Thanks for reviewing! 

**Water Dragon** – Um…your review came out a lot of times, but that's okay!! You put me on your fav. Author's List! How AWESOME! Thank you so very much! 

**Duel Mistress K** – It started when I was bored, it seems to be a story that's doing very well.   
Thanks for taking the time to review!!!! 

**Random Rockstar** – DUDE, how awesome are you! I think I'll get the guts to read one of your Yaoi fics sooner or later. One step at a time! Thanks, talk to you later! 

**Night Vision** – Naw, I think Bakura's very masculine, but also unfortunate. He lacks the luck that Joey has, so he's the one destined for misfortune. I was hoping for someone to mention green eyes for Seto, I was thinking along those lines. Thanks for the suggestions! 

**unicornfan** – FFVII rules!!!!! 'nough said! Kidding, but thanks a lot!! 

**Hikari** – I'm addicted to coffee… what this has to do with anything I don't know… anyways thanks for reviewing. Since you were my latest reviewer I decided to get off my lazy… self… and get to writing! Thanks!   


**Next up, Otogi, the creator of DDM… your just hot, Otogi!**

**Otogi: …**

**You haven't spoken to me in my head… I mean,_ you_ haven't spoken to me at all, how come Otogi?**

**Otogi: Well for starters…. Yugi's out cold on the floor, Kaiba's so full of drugs I don't think he knows who he_ really_ is, um the Egyptian guy,**

**Malik?**

**Otogi: Ya, him, he's weeping in the closet! Joey's hung like a piñata by a whip, and Bakura's strapped to the floor… so I assure you I reason's to be skeptical.**

**LOOK! They were like this before you got here! Don't believe me, huh? …. um… RISHID DID IT!**

**Rishid: … damn you woman….**

**Disclaimer: **HA! I found a pen! (*Starts to scribble*)… it ran out of ink… I own nothing but a useless, no-ink, pen! I don't even own the rights to the pen! Life never works out for me does it?   


  


**_Dungeon Dice Monsters Master!_**

  
  
  


"Not that I mind this at ALL, I mean ANY man would love this kind of treatment, but ladies… this is too weird!" 

Otogi Ryujji, 16 years old, woke up this morning with yet another displeasing wake up call. In front of him stood, holding either his breakfast, his clothes, or the morning newspaper, were three girls that were known as "Otogi's Girls" 

"Otogi! Otogi! Otogi! YaY! Yay! Yay!" they cheered. 

_'…I should be turned on by this… I mean they are women…'_ he stops to see that one of them was fawning one item of clothing, the other cooling his oatmeal and eating it at the same time, and the other reading the funnies saying "Otogi would kick Garfield's ass any day of the week, silly cat!!" _'…Maybe they're just too annoying for me…'_

"So ladies, what's on your agenda today?" Otogi smiled. _'Besides the unhealthy stalking…'_

"Oh, silly, silly Otogi!" Otogi Girl #! Replied, snuggling closer to him, causing Otogi to go stiffen with fear. She then traced the lines of his chin, causing him to go red all over. Otogi Girl #2 yelled "HEY!" 

"You can't touch our Idol like that!" Otogi Girl #3 yelled. 

"You know the rules, no touching!!" Otogi Girl #1 yanked Otogi Girl #2 off the bed. 

Otogi Girl #3 pulled out a small pocket book, "Are you trying to get yourself kicked out of our group! 'Rules of Seducing Otogi' Rule #5654 clearly states that he doesn't enjoy being come on too strongly!" 

"You've written a book?" Otogi arched an eyebrow. 

"No, it's more like we stole your journal and just numbered them. It's easier that way!" Otogi Girl #1 said brandishing a book entitled 'Otogi's Journal' 

_'This was definitely sickening, now they're stealing my stuff! What did I do to deserve this? All I wanted to impress Yugi and others into thinking 'I'm all that' but all I got is **that!**'_ he looked up to see all three bickering, slapping. _'Sure it was exciting the first day, then the second was pretty nice, the third was okay, but EVERYDAY!! A man can take only so much! It's because I'm weak, weak for women!'_

This wasn't half of the story! 

As soon as he got up, they were there putting his shoes on! 

As soon as he was to sit on his comforter, there they were putting cushions on for him to sit on. 

As soon as he took a shower, there they were, staring, mesmerized! It was definitely getting scary! 

But what was poor Otogi to do. Even if he flicked dices as them, a choice weapon for him, they'd think he was only playing! He even shot one in the eye in frustration, and still they laughed! Laughed! It was definitely not right! 

It wasn't that he was afraid. In fact at one point, he tried to call the police, but seeing as it was three against one, he decided against it. The wraths of fan girls were nothing he was willing to confront with! 

The phone rang, "I'll get it!" The three in unison cried. All three mad a wild dash for the phone, tripping one another, biting the other, pushing and yelling. 

Otogi groaned and answered the phone "Hello? Yes. Oh I see…uh-huh… WHAT?!?!" 

Otogi's girls were _still_ fighting one another seeing who'd answer, not realizing that Otogi was talking already.. 

"What rumors? They're my stalkers, not lovers! Have you even faced fan girls?!?!" Otogi yelled into the phone, eyeing the three. "I can be pro-women! DDM is perfect for those-- What?! You heard of special edition of DDM! They're lies! How could I do such a thing, taking women and playing the strip version of DDM… oh you were talking about the _online_ special edition of DDM, well SORRY I'm a gamer not a technician, how was I to know how those pop-ups of wome-- hello? Hello? They hung up on me!" Otogi hung up the phone. "This is just like that time I tried to raid that 'television for women' convention?" 

"To promote Dungeon Dice Monsters?" all three girls said in unison 

"Sure, that'll work… of course, why else?" a shifty-eyed Otogi responded. "Well at the convention, back then they said I was a sexist pig for staring, I mean promoting DDM! It's like they have something against it!" 

"Maybe if you had a women representative!" 

"I can't. I'm the only executive! I've lost a lot of money! Seto Kaiba from Kaiba Corporation overcharged on the rented duel ring, saying my duel with Yugi was "the most" saddest duel ever, that me being DDM's creator how could I lose. But that's not what got me overcharged, it seems he got mad over the comment "Yeah, look who's talking, the world's champion" biggest mistake EVER! Say maybe one of you…" 

"Oh DEAR RA, choose ME!!" 

"No, you're too stubby!" 

"What. Who's Miss-I-havet-to-grope-Otogi, while he's sleeping!!" 

"Whaa…" a bewildered, Otogi said. 

"Oh yeah? Who's the one who wore his clothes, and tried to tell everyone that he was in love with you?!" 

"NO WONDER!" Otogi commented in disbelief, recalling how many people whistled at him at school the other day. 

"That's nothing compared to the time you made him so drunk that he tried to hit on Pegasus!" 

"So that's why he didn't call! I must have scared him off! What's wrong with you!" Otogi yelled, being unnoticed seeing as all three were still bickering "I forgot, I'm surrounded by these three!" 

"Is that so! How about that time we took those photos of him without anything on? WHO'S the one who lost it and somehow having it end up in the hands of Joey Wheeler?" 

"THAT'S WHY HE CAN'T LOOK AT ME STRAIGHT!!!!" Otogi shrieked at the top of his lungs. "That's it!" Reaching for his left pocket, he pulled out at least twelve dices. "Let's see there's three, four dices each!" 

The girls were still fighting, continuing with "AH-HA, so that's where you my pair of Otogi's briefs! As soon as I find Tea I'll ask for them back!" "Well of course I hid them! I made sure I gave them to Seto Kaiba for safekeeping. Those high-tech security system will surely save my precious collection of Otogi's toe-clippings and locks of hair!!!" "Pegasus SAID that cloning wasn't real, and I had wasted my time stealing all that blood the doctor drained poor Otogi. It's better that Otogi doesn't know he would have a deadly virus or somethin'!!! It's better not knowing, and then knowing you'll die at a young age! If he does, then we'll find someone new! No biggie!" 

"Lock on target…." Otogi positioned three dices in his hand, trying to precisely aim for all three. "I give up!" In utter defeat, Otogi threw all 12 at the girls. "Now I--!! … I should have known…" 

Luckily, or unfortunately for Otogi, even with the girls distracted with each other, they seemed to manage to grab ALL twelve dices without EVEN looking. To say the least, they were definitely one freaky group of fan girls! 

"I'm all out of dices! I'm nothing without my dice!" Otogi slumped. 

"Otogi, we've come to a conclusion!" Otogi Girl #1 gleamed. 

"How?" Otogi was still in his slump. 

"It's an telepathic connection that we fans have!" All three spoke at once. 

"I see… all right, what is it?" He didn't want to, but he knew they'd_ make_ him want to know. 

"Seeing as you can't hire anyone, and the fact that you love us so much…" Otogi mentally slapped himself as they spoke. They were really delusional. Otogi Girl #2 continued speaking "… you couldn't decide which of us should go! Otogi, we know you would listen to any of our great ideas! So, as your favorite girls in the whole, whole, whole, whole, who--" 

Otogi Girl #3 nudged #2 to bring her back to attention "in the whole wide world, why don't you go yourself to the tournament" she held up a pamphlet. "The winner gets a lot of T.V. air time if you're the winner!" 

"No men allowed in the tournament, remember? Do you need me to draw a picture for you?" Somehow, Otogi thought that would be the way they'd understand. 

"Ooooh, what a cute picture of the Dark Magician Girl" squealed Otogi Girl #2 as she was overlooking the brouchure for the tournament. 

"That girl has nothing that we don't have!" commented Otogi Girl #3 

"Would you _ladies_ please get to the point!!" 

"Otogi, we, against our beliefs are willing to stop being attracted to you—" 

_'Could this be it! I could cry!!! Will they FINALLY leave me alone--'_

Otogi's thoughts were cut off as one Otogi Girl #1 finished her sentence "By having you dress up as a girl!" 

"Why don't' you three go instead!" He backed up, being pushed towards the wall by the approaching three and their make-up kits. 

"Actually, we can't duel! We only play DDM! And even then we fake that!" 

"Again, why do I even bother…? HEY!! Let go of that! It isn't…" cough, " a toy!" 

Otogi trapped and without a way out, gave in! At least he can now promote DDM, even if it meant his pride. '_Maybe it won't be so bad….'_

"No, you need the blush!" 

"Nu-uh! I say he needs mascara!" 

"Get some paint thinner! We have to remove the tattoo under his left eye!" 

All Otogi could do was gulp, gulp at the undeniable torture that was to come. Poor Otogi!   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

**Pretty sucky, huh? The Otogi Girls got on my nerves, so yeah I bashed them (a moment of weakness). They're meant to look annoying and annoying they'll be!**

**So, uh, yeah were close approaching the tournament, wait till then.**

**And remember Read and Review!**   



	10. Part I, all six boys!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's note: **HA! I have returned! After a long, boring two weeks, I felt like attempting another chapter. I have the feeling I am stretching this story a bit. Well anyways, probably one or two more chapters till that "special" chapter! Thanks for your support everyone! I do feel worn out and lost, so my old touch won't be too much in this chapter.... ah it sucks to be in a rut! 

**Cettie-girl** – I wanted to kill the middle one so bad… uh anyways enough about my plotting. Thanks for reviewing; nice of you to do it again, it makes me happy! 

**Sarah** – I know a lot of Sarah's… I'm starting to think you people are multiplying… hmmmm… well thanks for reviewing! 

**Unicornfan** – MORE! MORE! I demand more! But you can't handle more now can you! HA! Aeris died… boo-hoo! Talk to you later buddy! 

**Dee-whY-Cee-aRe** – I have to ask you another favor, I forgot that I gave Malik another last name… but please, if you would can I use your idea for a last name for another character? I'd REALLY appreciate it, and sorry! Thanks for reviewing. 

**Water Dragon** – You know, you're the only one who has me as a fav. Author for this story, and I feel so happy that you have! It means a lot! No, it really does! I feel that I'm not a very good writer, but that one little act allows me to continue with this story. Thank you! 

**Dreamy-eyes** – I'm trying to move with plot, I'm racking my brain to get me out of writing more chapters, but I can't fit this story accordingly, so I'm writing little by little each chapter. Sorry for the not moving too fast! Don't worry only the next chapter and bum-bum-bum the other chapter will be "revelation" time. 

**sakuya** – Did I go too far? You can have Peggy (he's hilarious by the way!) if I can have Seto, but that's if I had that power… but I don't… WAH!!! Otogi's Girls can be scary… I'm serious… they have that aura about them! Evil I tell ya, EVIL! 

**Random Rockstar** – Buddy! I want a perk me up too, but the family considers it too much of a high if I have caffeine… darn them and their meddling ways! Really, thank you so much for reviewing! 

**Adelianna** – I just saw you put me on your favs, thanks! I like your story, but I'm sorry I haven't read anything lately. I'm too busy with my life, I haven't have time to read anything. I'll read it hopefully, after I'm done with writing this chapter. 

**Georgia** – Otogi IS hot! Ba-boom! All right, I've given you one small little cameo in this chapter (SORRY I'm BAD AT INSERATION!). Best I can do, and I hope it's enough to full fill your request. I'll have you appear in the tournament too, just remind me about that once I get into that part of the story (I'm forgetful)! Okay one thing, you are so cool for writing an awesome review! I'm glad and VERY happy that you did! 

**Trupana** – I don't know why but to me Otogi will be a player… don't know why… hm… I told you my reasons against Isis/Seto, so yeah none of that! I hope I fulfilled your hint on Mai/Seto in this chapter. I'm thinking of more, but for now I made at least one hint! Thanks again for reviewing for my weird story! 

**linzy8554** – A new REVIEWER! (*Throws confetti*) I like Otogi just as much as I like Yugi, Joey, and Bakura (Malik and Kaiba are on top… of my list… uh that's it!), so he has to be included too! I should spread the torture around, should I not? 

**Celtic Guardian Princess** – Who's next, pretty much everyone! I wanted to dedicate one chapter to one character and so I did! Funny review, Otogi popping out and Yugi has a gambling problem… hmmm gives me an idea… thanks for the review!   


**Disclaimer:** Ah-ha! I've found a crayon! Yes it belongs to me… or should I say it belongs to its rightful owner, Crayola, for I indeed own no rights to anything! This… crayon is melting!! Just my luck… I own nothing…. Again…   


  


**_Steps to Success Part 1_**

  
  
  


"AHH the horrible pain!!" 

"I'm only painting your nails Bakura!" 

"Um... sorry" Bakura blushed; embarrassed by the fact he was screaming at something so insignificant. He did feel as if he was slowly hacking at his masculinity. 

"So… uh…." _What to say… _Bakura thought. "How about those… uh…" _What's a stupid mortal sports team again?_ In his times there weren't such things as 'teams' only those who were victims, or in Bakura's mind, entertainment. "How are the… Raiders…?" _Stupid, Stupid, Stupid_ Bakura repeated in his mind, there were no such things as 'Tomb' Raiders team, why'd he even go and say there was even one. 

"Okay… only need the finishing touch… oh sorry Bakura were you talking about something?" 

"I was saying, you know how are those uh…" Bakura mumbled the last part. "…Team" 

"What?" 

" You know, the Spor--" 

"We have to get to some shopping Bakura, I doubt my clothes will fit you." Tea said. "What were you saying?" 

"S-P-O-R-T" Bakura spelled out. 

"But of course we could, try but I wouldn't be too comfortable with that!" 

"Sports…" 

"Have you heard of that new shop they opened last week?" Tea continued concentrating at the task at hand. 

Bakura sweat-dropped. Seems at the drop or hint of the word "sports"; Tea would immediately change the subject! _Is it true what they said, do women not care about bloodshed, free-for-all, and cheat out of your way, game, he called "sport"?_ It was simply unthinkable of such of thing! 

"There! All done!" Tea sweetly smiled as she applied the last coat of pink nail polish. 

_Let me test this theory_, "Tea, have you ever heard of football—" 

"LOOK!" She interjected, "we're only two days away from the big day! We're going to have to hurry!" 

_Just as I thought… Wait a minute! _ "Tea, I can't go out with polished nails! Just give me the blasted… er… please…." A chill went through Bakura; again he was polite "…pass the nail polish remover." 

As Bakura made a grab for the bottle of Nail Polish Remover, Tea, in a low menacing voice, "Touch that and you're a dead man."   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


"Okay, Rishid, is the wax hot enough?" 

"Yes, Miss Isis, I also brought the strips." Rishid entered the room, placing several items across a table. 

Malik Ishtar sat quizzically looking to what his sister and most faithful sidekick were doing. As far as he knew, they brought a pot full of honey and large white bandages…oh the poor fool. 

"Okay, Malik focus on me" Isis warned. "No, Malik don't look over there! Ignore the waxing material." 

"Um… Ne-san…. I'm a bit confused, what exactly are you going to do." Malik asked, not having a clue because of his closed life in the underground. 

"All right, see I'm going to take this Popsicle stick and use it to apply some wax on your leg." 

"Sounds simple enough." Malik chirped, while Rishid tried not to stiff a laugh, "then what?" 

"I'm going to cover it with a bandage…" 

"Great, cause it's really hot! Does the bandage heal… YOWWWWW!!!!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"I had to use the Jaws of Life… but with this extra hair straightener I did it!" Yugi's mom triumphantly exclaimed. 

"Even if we had to go through eight of them… Yugi, what _do_ you have in your hair?" Yugi's Grandpa asked. 

Yugi nervously chuckled, "um… stress from too many death duels…?" 

"Yugi, don't' be ridiculous! Death duels? Don't make me laugh!" Grandpa huffed.(Uh… yeah…Yugi don't be ridiculous! Death Duels don't exist! It's just a harmless card game…yeah….) 

Deeply sighing, Yugi only sat there, as he looked towards his mother, then his grandfather, if only they knew.... 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Otogi-kun!" Otogi Girl #2 cooed. 

"Oh…" he moaned, "what is it now?" 

"Guess what Otogi-sama!" 

"OH MY GOSH! You did not try to outdo me again!" Otogi Girl #3 yelled. 

"No I didn't!" 

"Ladies!!!" Otogi yelled, "What is it?" 

"We found you a make-up artist! She even agreed to do your makeup while your still tied up in that cute chair with the 'Otogi' covers we made for you!" 

"It's a wonderful throne really, for our wonderful Otogi!" 

Indeed the women had tied up Otogi in a chair, with his face sewn in the perfectly good chair. It was too bad, poor Otogi was sitting on his own face, strapped against his will! Thankfully, the girls haven't had time to assault him. They keep arguing amongst themselves before they could make a move against the vulnerable Otogi. 

"Otogi! Are you listening to us?" Otogi Girl #1 pouted. 

"Yes! Why wouldn't I! But it's getting a little tight for me to think, mind loosening the ropes?" _So I can get the hell out of here!_

"Okay!" As she was about to help Otogi get free, the other two girls grabbed her by the arms and dragged her off. They were once again fighting on who should have the opportunity to touch! 

Great Otogi thought. _They're fighting on who should let me free when they're **supposed** to be holding me captive! One won't let the other two touch me… why couldn't I have had better fan girls!_

"Hi!" Someone called out, "Someone called for a make up artist!" 

Otogi lifted his head up and watched another female enter a room. 

"Hi! I'm Georgia! How are you?" She extended her hand, as Otogi looked up to her gesturing that in his current situation, namely he was tied up, how could he greet her? "Okay… well don't worry Otogi-kun, you're in good hands! I'm very delicate and graceful!" 

As she approached Otogi with only a brush in her hands, she fell over a ripple in the carpet. Falling, she accidentally through the brush across the room, which happened to pierce through a portrait of Otogi, right in… a _painful_ place. 

Otogi was afraid, deathly afraid! 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Joey… why won't you consent to other forms of creating… um… helpers…" Serenity was beyond embarrassed. She wasn't comfortable about talking about um the female anatomy, especially to her brother! 

"Serenity! If I stuff a bra with tissue, it'll be fine!" Joey assured his sister. 

"I don't know Joey, what if you get sweaty and stuff, they'll start to scrunch, it's a typical guy stuff" 

"Come on Serenity, were all not pigs" Joey commented, Serenity on the other hand was rummaging through her brother's drawers. 

"Um… Joey… what's this?" She held up a magazine that she discovered underneath all of his belongings. (A/N: Joey! You bad boy!) 

"…Educational magazines?" Joey tried to avoid the glare is sister gave him, he was so dead. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Kaiba! Quit being such a baby!" Mai yelled. 

"This-This-This is horrible! This isn't the best you could have done!" Seto angrily threw his arm in the air. 

Mai gave a faint giggle. 

Seto frowning, turned to see her, a vein formed on his forehead. "You! You…. You didn't!" 

"I'm…" laugh "s-s-s-o-r-.y" she couldn't speak because she was laughing so hard. "B-B-B… Oh I'm trying not to laugh!" she cleared her throat and composed herself, yet she couldn't stop giggling. "But the leather looks really good on ya Kaiba…" her giggles turned to a roar of laughter. 

The room turned eerie as Kaiba slowly etched to the mirror on his desk, and brought it up to his face. The HORROR! Not only had this woman fitted him in an ultra tight, leather dress, which he had an inkling wasn't too good for him due to the plunging neck line, he should have known better, but she did the unthinkable. She placed glitter, stars and hearts, all over his brown hair! What he thought was a foundation for his face was in fact white paint! And what she said was a new form of blush she was applying to his face, was used to form two, red circle one around each cheek! 

Seto felt his veins bulging. Mai on the other hand, continued to laugh at her sick twisted joke. Grabbing a towel, he wiped all the makeup, glitter, and stickers off. Seto scowled at Mai as she continued to laugh. 

"Mai… I'll kill you!" Seto yelled, as he dived to attack Mai. 

"Kaiba! Wait a min--" But without realizing it, Kaiba tripped over something, falling along with Mai. 

"Ni-sama, how's it going?" Mokuba asked as he walked through the door to check up on his brother. What he saw caused his mouth to drop. 

Poor Mokuba, for what he found was his brother BARELY dressed (Apparently, Kaiba removed all of his clothing besides his boxers) and Mai, sprawled over the floor, in what seemed a very…. compromising…. position. The shock ridden Mokuba yelped, grabbing the attention of both Mai and Seto. 

"Um…" Mai bit her lip, blushing. 

"Mokuba turn around! It's not what you think!" a flustered Kaiba yelled. "What are you thinking Mokuba?!?! How could you! I mean-! Don't look this way… Oh God! What are you thinking!! No don't think that!!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


**Kinda short and dumb, huh? I'm pretty tired, and I can't think of anything else. I promise the next chapter will have Yugi, Joey, Otogi, Bakura, Malik, and Seto… I'm not done with any of them! I had these ideas and wanted to write them before I forgot. I wasn't planning on another chapter, but I have MAJOR writer's block… so yeah… I'll get to it!******

**Review!**


	11. Part II, first up, Kaiba and Joey!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Salutations everyone! 

I have returned with another chapter! I've moved the story up now and finally decided to get my lazy butt up and actually get the two makeovers done with! (Many you have noticed I've been trying to delay that as much as possible) Instead of my normal thanking everyone, I'll have to skip that. After all, this is the hardest part of the story for me to write! _ I'd like to thank you all for your patience and support. _ It means a lot and without any of you I wouldn't have written this story as far as I have! 

FF.net deleted the last chapter's reviews. It wouldn't be fair if I only thanked a couple of you that the reviews were posted. I did receive them all, and I cherished them! **Thank you again, for everything!**

Another thing, I'm not too good at self-insertion and if you want to participate, I'm telling you now, that if you want me too I'll mention you, however you'll be at my mercy and I'll probably do something to piss you off! I'm warning you now. Please, I would like to insert you, but it makes it harder for me to write. 

I'm trying to insert as much humor as I can, but it's going to be hard since I'm thinking of getting the description of each "girl" out of the way. 

**Sorry I only did two boys this chapter, I'll do the other four in the next chapter!** I hope to write at least two or more chapters and then I'm done. I might even go as far as to make a sequel! But for now, my plans are that. 

I'm guessing you want to know the two lucky boys I picked to be the first victims. 

**Well they are…drum roll please!**

** Seto and Joey!**

**Come on down you're the lucky victims in my torture parade.**

**Seto: Dog, I never liked you, but I'm willing to leave you here to be fed to Yogi.**

**Joey: Kaiba!**

**Don't fight! You'll all be made an example of! So let's get this over with**

I have to list the people who helped contribute to Kaiba and Joey's makeovers. I hope I didn't forget anyone. I looked over my reviews and sought out who gave me the ideas. I knew I should have written it out! I'm EXTREMLY sorry if I forgot anyone! 

Seto Kaiba – **Night Vision**, **unicornfan**, **Trupana**, **sm-candy**, **Magician/Smokegirl**

Joey Wheeler – **SweetCandie**, **ACME-Rian**, **Xion**

You guys helped to make Seto and Joey, thank you so much guys! 

That's about it! Keep reading the results are coming.   
  
  
  


**_Steps to Success Part II_**

  
  


In Egypt, 

Rishid looking rather shocked, "What happened here?" 

"It hurts, Ne-san!" Malik rubbed his head from the injury he earlier received from his sister, Isis. 

"Turns out Malik here, ruined his hair!" Isis spat, glaring at Malik. Malik sat in the corner, sniffling, his hair ruffled and sticking all over the place. 

**_Flashback._**

"…I'm getting angry…" squirming from the pain, Malik tolled his sister. 

"Malik, if you want sexy legs you're going to have to go through pain!" Isis instructed her brother. 

Some of you may know, that if Malik experiences any anger or sadness, his dark spirit, better known as his Yami, will be brought out. According to the show, only Rishid could prevent Malik from losing control and bringing out his Yami. 

However, since the pain was too great for Malik, in mere moments, his hair went spiky and he began to chuckle madly, "Finally, it comes out!" 'Yami' Malik spoke, taking over the body of 'normal' Malik. 

**BANG.**

"Malik!" Isis raised a comb she held in her hand, "Dammit I just straighten your hair!!" (**BANG)** "YOU!" (**BANG)** "STUPID!" (**BANG)** "LITTLE!" (**BANG)** "LEETCH!" 

Guess Rishid isn't the only one to subdue a Yami Malik, huh? 

**_End Flashback_.**

Little anime tears were dropping from Malik's eyes. A huge bandage had been wrapped around his head to cover the bump he received from his sister. 

"I see…" Rishid said, as Isis was still brandishing the comb she'd hit Malik over the head with. 

The many hits that Isis had inflicted on her brother, thankfully, overtook his Yami, returning Malik back to normal. 

"Sister is so cruel…" Isis glares even harder, if that's even possible. "Sister's nice! I love my Sister!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"…And that's the story of the bird and the bees." 

A horrified Mokuba looked up to his brother's flushed face. 

"Mokuba?" Seto questioned, "Please stop making that face." 

A horrified Mokuba sat next to a horrified Mai. 

"You too, Mai, stop making those faces!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Bakura, stop fidgeting!" Tea struggled to restrain Bakura. 

"Woman! This has gone far enough! If had known you would do… this… this…it's inhumane! It's beyond cruelty!" 

"Bakura, please, they ran out of the other's colors!" 

"Liar!" 

Trying her hardest not to laugh, Tea continued to brush Bakura's "hair" 

"You're laughing! Stop it!" Bakura pouted, crossing his arms as he allowed Tea to continue. He wasn't happy and he wasn't caring if he acted out of turn, he was just moody. A sign, perhaps? 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Couldn't you have picked a less… inconspicuous place to shop?" Joey pleaded, his sister, Serenity, both were standing outside a crowded department store. Serenity decided to buy him a whole new wardrobe seeing as none of her clothes fitted him. 

"What? Like there's some sort of secret place where you can shop with privacy for you brother's WOMAN clothes!" 

"Psst, over here!" 

"Did you hear something?" Joey asked Serenity, who replied with a shrug. 

"Pssssssst!" 

"You don't need to go the bathroom?" 

"Serenity!" 

"PSSSSSST!!" 

"Joey, just admit it!" 

"Hey! You Idiots!" the voice got louder 

"Hey!" both brother and sister spun around in sync, both in defensive poses. 

"You can't say that to us!" 

A trench-coat man emerged from an alley, he motioned for the two to come closer, "I'm trying to be incognito. I've got just what you're looking for." 

"Sorry, we're no into that stuff" Serenity ushered her brother away. Joey on the other hand, was very curious about the offer. 

'"I'm interested! I'm definitely interested!" an excited Joey chirped, maybe he could a little 'something, something' is you get my drift… 

A few moments later 

"This isn't what I thought…." Joey dropped his head, disappointed. 

"Oh how cute!" Serenity held up an article of clothing. "Joey this will fit you perfectly!" 

"Your just in luck. We select a wide variety of clothing for men's… personal hobbies…" the man drifted off on the last part. "Oh don't worry sir, we here at 'Mask of Light Secret Shop' don't display any personal information of any of our customers. I'm an entrepreneur myself, the name's Lumis!" 

Joey glanced over at the short man wearing a white mask on only one side of his face, "… you get a lot of people?" 

"Yes, if fact a _tall_ man with a briefcase and a young _blonde_ women came in earlier. Some men are little embarrassed, uncomfortable, like he was, but he bought a lot of stuff. He bought several of our special 'Under Undergarments Combo' " 

"Undergarments combo?" Joey inquired 

"This piece is to hide… your… um… well it hides something…." Lumis motioned to the 'lower' part of his anatomy. "…Its like a strap… you know… just in case you need to hide a certain fact…it's supportive and comfortable and hides…any… uh… one size fits all…it's like nothings there…. and the other piece, the brassiere, comes with any size patting and will stay in place! Guarantee!" 

Serenity jumped, "We'll take ten combos then!" 

"Serenity!" just thinking about it gave Joey chills, as his eyes wondered down there! What if the first piece was a little _too_ tight! 

"Now you can wear tight clothing, like shorts and pants, no will notice!" Serenity's eyes lid up. "We can experiment with other clothing!" 

That left Joey baffled and horrified, his sister was getting exicited over her new "Joey" doll. Well, he was the one who asked her, but he still felt as if she were taking this a bit too far. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"So… uh… what are you doing here?" 

"I asked you first! What are you doing here…?" 

Yugi and Otogi were staring at one another, in front of a "Women's Fashion" store in Domino mall. Both were holding one outfit in each arm, and unfortunately happened to be a dress in their size and both just happened to be looking in a mirror to measuring before they spotted one another. 

"Otogi-sama!" one of the Otogi Girls spoke to him on a microphone placed in his ears, the one that the Otogi Girls planted. "We found this kawaii place!" 

"I'm still in position with the tranquilizer gun, do I shoot Otogi now!" another one called over the in the microphone. 

"No! You just want to take advantage of him when he's asleep! We're supposed to be forcing him to buy cute clothes!" 

"Yeah! Get with the program!" the third one also joined in. 

Again, they were arguing and painfully Otogi could hear it all in his head. 

But then again, Yugi hadn't noticing Otogi drifting, because he too was having an "inner argument". 

Yami yelled in Yugi's head, "We're going to be caught! This will be the biggest scandal since Otogi's 'picture' appeared on the message board at school!" 

"Otogi-sama" one girl whined through the microphone, "Hurry up! We need to try cute clothing!" 

"Yugi, are you listening!" Yami yelled. 

"Otogi-kun!" 

"Aibou!" 

"SHUT UP!" both Otogi and Yugi yelled holding their heads. Everyone in the near by vicinity stop to stare at the two boys, who stood frozen in place. 

"Uh… you never saw me and I never saw you!" Yugi warned. 

"Yugi, honey, come try out this cute little dress over here!" Yugi's mother called out for her son. 

"Otogi-sama, hurry" all three girls were running up to Otogi, one holding a large gun (also causing many heads to turn), the other with a flyer waving in her hands. "They're having a sale at this place called "Mask of Darkness Mega-o-Rama! The might have cute lingerie for you to try on!" 

"Agreed" Otogi turned to Yugi. 

"Yes… we never saw one another…" Yugi spoke slowly. 

"Yes…. stranger, we never saw one another!" slyly Otogi put. 

"Otogi-sama!" 

"Yugi!" 

(Boy were those women being a little too obvious) 

Without warning, Otogi was being dragged by girls, all three pulling on his legs, while he dug his nails into the ground, and Yugi was also being dragged, his mother pulling on his collar. 

"Come on Yugi, I found the perfect place to shop!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Welcome to the Mask of Darkness store, we are to help you with your needs… even those special ones!" A tall, half-masked wearing man, spoke. "The names' Umbra!" 

"You girls are mad! I hate you three!" they managed to hang Otogi by a coat hanger inside the store. 

"We love you too!" they squealed, "Now, can you help us, sir, we need to turn our masculine Kami-sama into a cuter goddess!" 

"Well we have just the thing! That Mask of Light thinks he can beat me, but I have better specials!!" he grumbled, "We are currently having a "underneath it all" special!" Umbra was acting little to over-excited "A young man with _white_ hair and a young _brown _haired lady came in earlier." he held up one piece of article of clothing, that made Otogi flinched. The piece was going to contric _that_! "Don't worry!" assured Umbra, "They don't prevent you from having children in the future! What am I saying, I'm sure you'll find a nice man…I mean, woman in the future sir. I mean if that's your lifestyle, I don't judge" 

Otogi paled, the girls sighed in delight. Maybe that woman could be one of them, and missing the point entirely of what Umbra was implying earlier. 

"Plus this other beautiful piece comes with free padding to you that luscious look!" Umbra held a bra in one of his hands. 

Turning his head, Otogi frowned in pure agony. This wasn't what he expected to spend his afternoons with a bunch of girls. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Yugi, I'm glad my friend told me about this place." 

"Grandpa told us, mom." Interjected Yugi. 

"Can't you give your mother some credit once in a while. I know that 'Lumber' guy from the Mask of Light store gave you a hard time, but we're going to have to change your voice and this man is the one to do that!" 

"Welcome to Prof. Shop of Rock!" 

"Professor Hawking!" Yugi eyes bulged from their sockets. In front of him stood Rebecca Hawking's grandfather and his grandfather's old friend. "YOU manufacture voice changing devices." 

"It's a hobby!" he frowned, "Archeology doesn't bring crumbs to the table! I'm studying about an ancient game, you think they'll pay money for that!" 

"Hi, Prof!" grinned Yugi's mother. "I'm here to get my son a voice changer! I need to completely change my little boy into my little girl!" 

"Ma'am!" Prof. Hawking yelped. "You can't be seriously?" 

"Oh no, you misunderstood. See, my son is trying to dress up as a girl to gain a girl's trust" 

"The old taking advantage of a girl!" Professor Hawking glared at Yugi "Lay a finger on Rebecca and I'm hoping to be a great-grandfather soon!" 

"Uh… yeah…" a frightened Yugi responded. The Prof. had a few screw loose, he figured from being stuck with his Grandpa in a cave. 

"You're the fifth boy to want to change his voice. One young man threw down a lot of money to keep me quiet, the other threatened me, one was being hauled by a bunch of girls and the other was with his sister. By the way we also offer one-day air delivery, even to _Egypt_." Prof. Hawking said. "Follow me, we have a wide variety!" 

Yugi and his mother followed Prof. Hawking to the back of the store, they stopped in front of a case displaying different sizes, shapes, and colors of chokers. 

Prof. Hawking explained." See, we have even Duel Monster chokers! All you do is wear this around your neck and your voice becomes high pitched, it's that easy!" 

"Great!" gleamed Yugi's mother, "Well take that one over there!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Ah… the joys of having your very own mall!" Malik skipped around, he was currently trying out attire. 

"You know…" Isis trailed off, Rishid walked by her side. "Rishid, someone's going to have to take care of Malik" 

"Miss Isis, you'll be there. There's no need to worry!" Rishid assured her. 

"Yes, but someone loyal…." Isis looked at Rishid firmly. 

Rishid groaned, "oh…. no…." 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

And sooooooo…. 

Let's find out the cast's responses, shall we? 

Helper's responses were... 

Tea: "We're all done, Bakura! Is that smoke coming out of your ears?" 

Mokuba: "Wow, ni-sama!" 

Mai: "Yeah, Seto…" 

Grandpa: "You know Yugi, I never realized how close you were to being a girl!" 

Yugi's mother: "I always wanted a girl…" 

All of the Otogi Girls: "Otogi-sama, maybe you can become a Otogi Girl #4!" 

Isis: "Malik you look so great! Rishid, we are masters! I'm glad **_you_** decided to join in too, Rishid!" 

Rishid: "Miss Isis, please reconsider!!!" 

Serenity: "Brother! I think we need to get to that liquor store. After this I'm going to need a whoooole lot of alcohol!" 

Joey and Serenity's father: "Hey, Serenity, Joey, what's going on in here, **MY LORD**!"   
  


And… the boy's responses were! 

Bakura: "I loathe you woman!" 

Seto: "This is for the Blue Eyes! The Blue Eyes! I have to rip that thing up! Oh! I'm going to rip it up good!" 

Yugi: "You guys are so cruel sometimes!" 

Otogi: "How can I be a fan of myself? Knowing you three I'll just end my life to stop me from torturing myself! 

Malik: "Rishid! You're a big-boned woman!" 

Joey: "DAD! This isn't what you think!" 

Results were…. 

…… 

…… 

…… 

I might keep you in suspense… 

…Isn't that a cruel thing of an authoress or what? 

What's that you say, I said I would… I did, didn't I…? Hm… 

Consider this a teaser…. 

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…… 

Only kidding… all right, let's skip to that fateful day!   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


The day had finally come. Everyone packed their bags, making sure they had everything necessary to not foul up. 

Joey was traveling with Serenity in thier father's borrowed car. 

Kaiba and Mai traveled in car. 

Malik, along with Isis and Rishid were flying in from Egypt to Dominio International Airport. 

Otogi was being driven up there by the girls in thier "Otogi" mobile. 

Bakura and Tea were taking a taxi up there. 

As for Yugi, his grandfather and mother were giving him a lift 

Before the left, each prepared their decks. Each believing that there would be no one to recognize their Duel Monsters deck, unaware of each other's participation of the tournament, they had no worries. 

This was a disaster waiting to happen. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

Seto Kaiba sat in the passenger seat of Mai's convertible. 

"My hair's going to fall off!" Seto clutched his head tightly, thinking his hair would fall off. 

"No worries, sweetie! No matter what your hair wont' fall off." she winked at him, causing him to blush madly. He turned the other way trying to hide it. 

"Hmph! Whatever" sounding as coolly as he could, but nothing could help the situation he was in. 

"Seto… What do you think?" 

"Of?" 

"Well, about the new you!" 

"I look… God, I look humiliating…" 

"So I did my job!" 

Seto took in her features as she continued to drive. He was rather surprised at how well of a job she'd done. Almost as red as a tomato, Seto looked down at himself and at Mai's work. 

Firstly, Kaiba's hair was longer. Since he was a rich and powerful man, Mai bought him the best hair supplies and extensions. His hair was flat and reached to his wait, two front bangs covering his face and the rest pulled back. His hair wasn't it's normal brown, to make him look less like him, she dyed his hair turquoise blue, his bangs were dyed aquamarine. 

His eyes slowly took in the outfit he wore, he was wearing a short mini-skirt, two long knee-high leather boats, a blue KC logo belt, looped sideways, around his waist and a sleeveless silk, turtleneck, shirt/coat that flowed all the way down to his knees, almost as his normal coat would. To complete the outfit, Mai added white gloves to hide his masculine hands, she also allowed him to wear those metal cufflinks he wore in Battle City attire.. 

Mai matched Seto's whole wardrobe blue. It was light blue blouse matching an aquamarine skirt along with black boots. Too make matters worse, the whole wardrobe fitted Kaiba rather tightly. The top piece had an opening to the waist down only, the upper portion zipped up. Kaiba could barely breath, all thanks to the girdle/tummy tuck she forced on him. The answer, according to Mai, was to create a more curvaceous body for him and tight clothing was the only way to hide some of his masculine body. 

His face wasn't too flameboyant. After several hours of what Mai deemed "agony" and "experimentation" they finally found a match that didn't make Mokuba scared. She forced him to use eye contacts; his eyes were now a light green. The makeup applied was light; all she put on him was foundation, peach lipstick, some blush, mascara, and light blue eye shadow. 

And lastly, he had a Blue Eyes White Dragon button on the choker he bought from Prof. Hawking. 

Seto was fairly upset over the whole thing and uncomfortable. Every minute or so he'd fidget and remember that something was added to his chest and something was being pressed _reeeealllly_ tightly. They weren't too bothering, only foreign, and it was going to be a while till he adjusted. 

"I look horrible!" he said crossing his arms; he scoffed as he realized how different it was to do so with the two additons on his chest. 

"Here" she handed him some stylish reading glasses, "Now no one will know it's you!" 

"What am I, Clark Kent?" 

Mai grinned mischievously, "No… Super Girl!" 

Later. 

"Your driving skills SUCK!" a fumed Kaiba yelled. Both Mai and him were staring at her car, currently finding a new in a ditch. 

"…Well, we're just going to have to walk, that's all. Or we'll call for roadside assitance." Mai explained, "Maybe if you show some leg, perhaps someone will stop" Kaiba raised his hand, "Just kidding" she pleaded, defending her head from any attack. 

Kaiba stood there rubbing his head; this was the last thing he wanted. Now he had to walk all the way to that stupid retreat where Pegasus was holding his stupid tournament and were he has to planning to win and rip up that Blue Eyes prize. 

"Look, Kaiba, there's a car approaching!" She jumped up and down to grab the cars attention. "Yoo-hoo over here!" 

Seto mumbled, "By the way she's jumping, if it's a man, we'll have no problems." 

The car came to a screeching halt, "Hey! Watch were your going, you nearly ran over me!" Mai yelled. 

"It's Mai!" the driver shouted. 

Quizzically, Mai peered over the car to take a closer look, "Do I know you?" 

Angrily, the passenger of the car hit the driver on the shoulder. "No, he just recognizes you from Duel Monster's Digest! You're Mai, right? You and your girlfriend need a ride?" 

Seto's eyes twitched at the sound of 'girlfriend' "HEY!" he shouted, "What are you implying!" 

Mai rushed to cover his mouth, "It's her time of the month!" Seto growled, giving her an icy glare. She coughed, and Seto's mind went back to the idea that he wasn't Seto, but a female Seto, and she wasn't implying anything of that sort. "Actually it's _always_ her time of the month. Our car broke down, if you could we're trying to get to the Pegasus resort up, could you give us a lift, please?" 

"We were just heading there!" the passenger responded, "Let me introduce you to someone, this is my brother Jo…uh…" 

"Did you say brother?" Kaiba arched a brow. 

"No I didn't! You're just hearing things. Anyways, I'm Serenity." 

(Well guess what people, yup, the passenger is Serenity and the driver has to be… I'm sure you know, Joey Wheeler! What a coincidence!) 

"Hey isn't that Joey's sister's name?" Mai looked over to 'Kaiba' "Wait, it is you! You're Joey's sister!" 

"Well you know…" Serenity looked desperately at her 'brother' "…my brother's is Joey and uh… It's nice to meet you Mai! He's talked a lot about you!" Joey wanted to scream, he regreted not planning this out sooner and the fact that his sister just told Mai of all people that he talked about her. "This is my sister…" again, she spoke before she thought. 

"I thought Wheeler only had one sister." Kaiba pointed out. 

"Um" Joey panicked, trying desperately to change the subject. "Um, hop on in!" 

The hitchhikers looked at one another, "Thanks! What's your name? If you don't' mind telling us" Mai asked. 

"Jo...ni… D-D-ealer, Joni Dealer… I'm a… spiritual sister of Serenity!" Joey couldn't come up with anything else and why he rhymed his last name, he hadn't a clue. 

"Well whatever, your giving us a ride right? Nice too meet you Serenity." Mai extended her hand 

Like usually, Kaiba stood cross-armed, ominously looking down at the two people in the car. Moment by moment, he was getting used to his new 'additions'. It was an uncomfortable ordeal. "Dealer? That sounds like Wheeler" 

"Funny, isn't it?" Serenity chuckled nervously. "I've known _Joni_ here for a while, she's my best friend!" 

"We have some luggage, have room in the back?" Mai asked. 

"Pop the hood… Joni." Serenity ordered. 

After loading their stuff, Mai happily jumped in the car, but Seto had a problem. Since this was a two door car, he had to crawl himself in the back seat. It was hard to move in his clothing as it was! Mai, being Mai, patted the seat as she motioned him to get in. 

Mentally, Seto repeated _"why… why me?"_ There was no alternative, so Kaiba tried his hardest to crawl in the back. However, he lost his footing and fell backwards and as he fell, he flashed the people in the car the "undergarments" he'd purchased. 

Mortified, Kaiba immediately got up and crawled himself in his seat. He blushed a mad red, while Mai blew him a kiss. "Those are so cute!" she teased. 

Yet, Joey got a good look at those…undergarments…. He blushed madly. He just saw the girl's underwear.. 

Serenity, sat, lightly laughing at the whole thing, the girl with Mai was klutzy. She generously smiled and looked at Joey, admiring her work. 

Nervously, Joey started up the black two-door car he borrowed from his father. In more ways than one, he was relived, Mai, his close duelist friend, he knew very well didn't recognize him at all. 

She'd had reason not to. For his sister based his looks on a vivacious, sex kitten look! 

First, Serenity styled his hair. She added some extensions, only making his hair a couple of inches below his shoulder. She styled it so some of his hair drooped over shoulders and that half of his face was covered by his locks of hair. Warning him clearly, Serenity told him that he shouldn't play with his hair at all, if not, she'd use her other senses to kick his butt! 

Being the messy dresser that Joey was, she hadn't made her brother wear anything beyond what he normally wear. She allowed him to wear blue denim jeans and she added a denim blue jacket to go with it. Underneath he wore a plan white blouse that fitted his new… 'Additions'… Around his neck, he wore that voice-changing choker device he bought, that had a fire symbol on it. He wore his usual white, blue-stripped sneakers. 

Other changes Serenity made to Joey was dyeing his hair auburn brown with light blondish highlights and giving him blue eye contacts. 

"So…" Joey tried to strike up a conversation, "whose your friend?" 

"Seiko!" Mai said 

"Satie!" Kaiba responded at the same time as Mai. 

Seems both Mai and Kaiba responded with their own names. Kaiba race to try to cover up the mistake, "its Seiko Satie K-K-Kimiko" 

Joey looked at his mirror to take a closer look at Mai's companion, "So? What? Do they call you, Seiko or Satie?" 

"Kimiko." Kaiba plainly stated. 

Noticing the choker around Kaiba's neck. "Hey! I know a stuck up who's obsessed with the Blue Eyes White Dragon…" Joey grinned goofily, "Kaiba, what a loser!" 

Physically and Mentally, Kaiba struggled not to attack this girl, first she was a female and he was a male and second, Mai had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He restrained himself and mumbled the words, "bitch!" 

_Wait... how does she know me? _ Seto glared at the girl from behind, and tried to think hard of where and when he'd seen this person before. It bothered him that this girl seemed so familiar. 

For the rest of the trip, Kaiba sat content, lost in his thought. At least these people thought he was of the opposite sex, and that was a good thing, or was it? 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


**Phew! Done. I don't' care at the moment for inaccuracy or spelling or grammar. I'll fix that up later. Stay tuned for the next chapter of I My Me, Oh My!**

**Like I said no Yaoi, but you know some things can be used and it's technically not Yaoi… hahahahaha!**

**Review please! Thank you! If I get a lot I might do the other chapter in the next few days. I don't really care for reviews, but I do care if people like my stories, I need to be told that.**

**Bye!**   
  



	12. Part III, Yugi and Malik

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author Notes: **Returned yet again, yes I have! 

Sorry Peoples, with summer school up, my updates will be farther and my chapters shorter! I thought I could write more for this one, but all I got up to was Yugi and Malik before I gave out. I'm sorry; it's just that I'm so exhausted from work, school, and family. Please forgive me! 

I mean I could have waited and finished with Otogi and Bakura, but that would have been another week and I thought I might as well post up what I have already! 

And again, *sigh* I didn't write a very funny chapter. Again, I'm trying to get this over with so I can get to my ideas. Ja Ne!   


**Cettie-girl** – Thanks for reviewing again. Um, I wasn't too comfortable writing those "transformations" once I get over that, then I think I will get right back to writing normally. Yup, poor Otogi and Yugi ^_^ 

**sm-candy** – Hey, I have to thank you for all the suggestions you given me. I hope you forgive me for only using a few. To write my story, I have to make sure each boy is done to which I'm most comfortable with, that's why I'm so picky! However, your suggestions helped me evolve each guy. I have to extend my deepest thanks to you for being such a wonderful person. Thanks again! 

**Dreamy-eyes** –   
_Thanks for the nice long chappie but could you update an itsey-bitsey bit faster? Please?_   
**…Slavedriver…**   
_*shoves Yugi in front of authoress who gives the puppy dog eyes*_   
_How could you say no to this face?_   
***GASP* you manipulating…! The old 'use' Yugi to melt this cold heart, you're a cheeky one you are!**   
_*Yugi turns into Yami who glares at everyone and stalks off* Aw, nuts!_   
**LOL! You pressured me into getting the next chapter up! That was a funny review by the way, Thanks!**

**Georgia** – Forgot to ask, I didn't offend you when I self-inserted you into the story? I have no talent in that sort of writing. Errr…. If I did, I'll rewrite it! Please tell me if you didn't like the way I did it. Thanks for reviewing. 

**unicornfan** – So how's Paris? Fun? I did forget that spray can thing… ah well. Talk to you later then, thanks for being so supportive! 

**ACME-Rian** – Well the idea you gave me for Joey was the hair color, I added your suggestion and SweetCandie together. I think I also have you down for Yugi's dress. If you want, I can insert you into the story, but it's only briefly that I will. If you'd like that is. I don't' portray people all that well, so I'm giving you a warning on that. That's it, thanks for reviewing. 

**sakuya** – They're hustling Malik! How dare they! I was thinking about what you asked about Yami. That's one of the scenes I want to depict later on, I'll have the answer for you when I think it up. I realized that too! If Yami plays for Yugi, what would happen? And for Seto's deck, yes I have the solution for that too… wait and see. 

**Duos_Bunny** – Well you can join, but it would likely end up weird or something. I don't portray people well, so yeah join at your own caution. But I like a single name like "Yogi" or "Bunny" for instance for something like that. I'm glad you like the story, and I'm happy that you're willing to help! Thanks for reviewing! 

**linzy8554** - FF.net gave a scare two days ago! I thought that my story was deleted! Good that it wasn't! I wasn't going to continue writing if I had to start all over again. Again, I have to thank you for reviewing. I hope the story doesn't go downward or anything and ruin your hopes. I'm working on it! 

**Trupana** – I've missed your reviews! I too have been busy with other fanfiction. (Mostly in the Inu-Yasha section of FF.net) I have to say, you've turned me into a Seto/Mai fan! (Write the next chapter to your story soon!) I don't' know, were my hints good or not? I tried, but I do have a little Hentai side in me! I hope you review for me again and thanks! 

**Dee-whY-Cee-aRe** – Hey! Your back! I'm sorry I moved your suggestion for Marduck to Rishid now! Gomen! I like the name, but it didn't go well with my given name for him… it's my fault, I'm sorry. But thank you sooooo much! 

**THANK YOU ALL FOR STICKING WITH ME AND SUPPORTING THIS FIC. I love getting reviews from you guys! (*Sniffle*)**   


**So who's next... Yugi and Malik, you're up!**

**Yugi: Maybe if I gnore her, she'd go away... but it wont' work, I tried that so many times and still fan girls exist.**

**Malik: Omaeo koro... uh... what's Heero's line again? Ah, hell I'm going to kill you Pharoah! This is ALWAYS your fault!**   


People who helped make 

Yugi – **ACME-Rian**, **Cettie-girl**, **Night Vision**, **sm-candy**

Malik – **unicornfan**, (mostly me, cuz Malik's my man to torture!) 

Rishid – **smcandy**, **Dee-whY-Cee-aRe** (Marduck) 

Am I forgetting anyone, I hope not! I kinda lost all my notes for suggestions and I hope I got everyone. 

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing! If I did, Sesshoumaru, Malik, and Kaiba would be locked in a room with ME!   
  
  
  


**_Steps to Success Part III_**

  
  
  


He wasn't going to hyperventilate. He wasn't! Nope, he tried his hardest not to! They were nearing the site of the event of the all-female tournament and he wasn't afraid. 

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!!" Yugi frantically yelled, desperately trying to open the car door open. He felt the anxiety getting to him. 

"Glad I put the child safety lock" Yugi's mother smirked 

Yugi calmed himself a bit. Soon, he, along with his mother and grandfather, were going reach their final destination. This was unbearable to Yugi! He was too nervous to think clearly. 

The idea was all his, but he didn't realize how uncomfortable this would actually be. First, his goal was the Dark Magician Girl. Yet was this all worth it? To his dismay, his mother and grandfather assisted him, scary as that was. 

Yugi stared out the window, looking at his own reflection. OH if only people knew how much gel, spray, and chemical products were in his hair alone. It was terrifying to even consummate the idea. 

His mother had done her motherly job. You could hardly recognize that he was same Yugi who defeated both Kaiba and Pegasus. Yet at the same time, it was unbelievable how close his mother would come to calling Yugi, 'her daughter.' It was enough to break down the poor boy. 

There, Yugi sat edgy, staring at himself and his 'new' look. Most obvious change was his hair straightened down with curved outward tips, bangs pulled behind his ears, and extending barely to his shoulders. His hair had been painted all black, then highlighted with light reddish highlights. 

That wasn't all bad, only his clothing was going to take a bit of getting used to. 

After all that browsing, his mother had chosen for him a purple, spaghetti-strapped short, dress, with small ripples at the end. Above that was a black coat-jacket, similar to his normal blue one, hugging his newly formed hips (thanks to that tummy trimmer). And he wore laced, black, boots only a couple of inches above his ankles. 

Makeup was fair. All that was done was foundation, light red eye shadow, blush, and light red lipstick. Added were also contacts for his eyes, instead of shining their normal purple, they were transformed into gray eyes. Yugi was surprised at how un-like Yugi he looked like and his mother's taste in clothes! 

"Here you go honey!" his mother held up a small handbag. "I put that puzzle you're obsessed with in here!" 

Yugi took the purple handbag into his arms and cradled it. It felt odd that he had longer nails and that the several bracelets he had clanked as he moved. 

A voice rang through his mind. 

He sensed that Yami was speaking to him, he could hear his Yami sniffle, _"…you put me into a purse… I feel so unloved."_

_"Put a cork in it!"_ Yugi grumbled mentally.   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


The three Ishtars sat quietly in coach section of a jetliner. They were currently making their way to Domino City. 

"Malik, please tell me you aren't' going to pass the Millennium Rod as a wand!" Isis barked. 

"A scepter!" Malik corrected, not helping the glare his sister gave him. 

Rishid intervened, "Give him credit Miss Isis, he decorated the item quite well" 

Indeed Malik did put some effort into disguising the Millennium Rod, but it isn't as good as you would think. All he'd done was place a one large red bow around it and a glued glitter all over. 

"Why didn't you leave that behind?" inquired Isis. 

"Nonsense!" Malik replied, "I can't leave this alone! Stewardess! Bring me some more vodka!" 

"Yes…Master Malik" the stewardess almost zombie-like responded. 

Malik promptly received another hit to the head, courtesy of his sister Isis. 

It was a long trip and Malik, being impatient, continued to anxiously fidget in his seat. 

Since they were cutting it so close, Isis thought best if Malik was prepared before they arrived to Domino City that way they didn't waste any time driving up to the event. 

Nothing was way too uncomfortable for Malik. His sister only decided that he would wear a black tank top and long, hip-tight beige cargo pants. His sister decided against any uncomfortable undergarments and instead gave Malik a Sports bra and those… tight… underwear to conceal Malik's… you know… and a tummy trimmer to flatten his stomache more. 

For his facial features, Rishid worked on giving Malik a look that was plain and simple. All he placed was lip-gloss, purple eye shadow, mascara, and a LOT of foundation. The color of his eye contacts was light blue. His face was over-shadowed by the long, spiky bangs (formed by pulling some of hair forward and trimming them). The end of his hair was tied back and was attached to the braided hair extension that went to his waist. 

To say the least, Malik had that whole Lara Croft look to him. 

To his side, he could see that his sister and Rishid had fallen asleep. Malik couldn't help but chuckle at his partner in crime, Rishid. 

Isis was indeed a cruel woman, and hid it quite well. Poor Rishid also suffered as he was destined to "baby-sit" Malik. Unlike Malik, Isis had to hide that tattoo that was on Rishid's face. He wore a long, cream-colored veil along with a dress similar to the one Isis wore; only the arm flaps were wider. He was decked with traditional Egyptian jewelry. Since he was bald as well, Isis placed a black wig on him, which he constantly moaned about. The only visible thing about Rishid now was he was a bulky woman with red eyes. 

Unbeknownst to Malik, a man sitting in the rows across from them had his eyes on them. 

Sensing something off, Malik turned his head and made contact with the man. Harmlessly Malik waved a small greeting and returned his attention forward. 

Malik was getting a little uncomfortable, it was af if he felt those eyes on him. 

_Well better ignore it!_

From his pocket, Malik pulled out a lollipop, he unwrapped and popped it into his mouth. 

Yet, Malik not remembering what he was doing, he appeared to be eating the lollipop in a very unusual way. When he was a man, it was okay, but now… it could seem that he was being seductive using that lollipop. 

This act didn't go without notice. That same man got out of his seat and approached Malik. He crouched besides Malik. 

The bewildered Malik, blinked at the man. The man asked Malik "Want to meet me in the bathroom, miss?" 

"Um…" Malik turned to his sister and companion who were asleep, he was unsure of what to say due to his naivety. "… Sure why not." 

What this guy wanted to do with him in the bathroom was puzzling to Malik. Why Malik didn't reject the request, was because he was a bit curious. Maybe the toilet was stuck, Malik could think of a million reasons… except… 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

Moments Later.... 

"Please sir, don't jump!" a stewardess yelled. 

"Malik!" 

"Ne-san, he tried to do something to me!!" 

BANG. 

"Fine, I'll let him live…" Malik sniffled, " I feel so violated." 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

**Again… I'm being a pervert; does it help if Miroku is my idol?**

**Sesshoumaru and Kaiba are both in my eyes, each a Kami-sama! Hey! I deserve an outburst once in a while!**

**Next up Bakura and Otogi.**   



	13. Part III and a half, more Yugi and Malik

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Comments**: **This is basically a continuation from the previous chapter. I forgot a lot of things in the previous chapter, so I decided to make another one. _Sorry no Bakura and Otogi Makeovers yet._**

**Author's Note: ** Sorry everyone! I've been, well, to be truthful, tired and exhausted. This is short chapter, but hey, it's something right? 

I will respond to everyone's review in the next chapter, I just wanted to give you a nice, small, decent chapter while I write up the next. Which I hope to have it up soon! Sorry peeps! 

**Disclaimer:** Yo tengo nada! I own nothing!   
  
  
  


**_Steps to Success 3 1/2_**

  
  
  
  


Finally arriving at thee airport, Malik and Isis stood together, waiting for Rishid to return with the luggage. 

"You modeled me after her!" Malik yelled, as he pointed to one a poster, promoting the new picture _Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life_ "I loathe you sister." 

"You didn't mean that" Isis glared at her brother. 

"Er, um" he was unable to respond, if looks could kill, he'd be roasted and turned into a pile of Malik dust. (Could think of anything witty!) "I love my big sister, she's the greatest!" 

Rishid came up to the siblings, "Miss Isis, I'm afraid they lost our luggage…" then he put his hands up defensively "Please don't hurt me!" expecting the worse from the more frightening Ishtar. 

Malik too, stared at his older sister. He tugged on the choker around his neck, a black one with a pyramid plastered on. 

Though, to the surprise of both men, Isis took one deep breath, and exhaled. "Malik…" she asked calmly, "Hand me your Rod, please!" there was a hint of cracking in her voice. 

"Um, Sis, I don't think you should--" Before anyone knew it, Isis yanked the Millennium Item from her brother's grasp and went charging, yelling a battle cry towards several airline employees. 

That left both men flabbergasted. 

"Well THAT was unexpected." Malik was still in awe. 

"No, not really" Rishid corrected. 

Later. 

"The Millennium Rod can be used in many ways and SHOULD never be held in the wrong hands" Isis warned, "There you go, Malik" she handed it to _him_. 

Seems Isis was able to retrieve their belongings (in a gruesome manner, no less!) and able to attain a limo that would take them to the resort. 

Adoringly, Malik had fallen asleep across the leather seating and being the nice sister she was, Isis only placed the Millennium Rod in his hands, so he may cradle the thing like he did every night. 

Barely, the words "hehehehe, Pharaoh, you die today!" can be heard mumbling under Malik's breath. 

"So cute" Isis wiped away a tear and received a look from Rishid. 

"Miss Isis, did you think of a name for Malik-sama…" Rishid frowned and sighed deeply, "…and me." 

"Well, Malik name can be… Malon Ife!" 

He arched an eyebrow, "and me?" 

"Rihana Marduck!" 

"What? It's a good name! Are you questioning my taste" 

"If we questioned your taste" Rishid eyed Malik sucking on his thumb, continuing to mumble incoherent words of power and position, "Oh nevermind..." 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


Yugi hurriedly ran up the stairs of the entrance to the resort. In a hurry, he struggled to put on the Dark Magician choker he bought before entering the double doors. 

"Out of my way!" Yugi turned around to find no other than Mai running behind her. Yugi's eyes widened. _Mai is here?!!?_ She pushed him out the way, entering the resort. 

"Uh?" Yugi looked at the doors. 

"Wait right there Mai!" another taller, blue haired girl gave chase after Mai, and once again pushing him out of the way and disappearing into the double doors. 

"Wait you two!" Surprisingly this time Yugi saw Serenity, Joey's younger sister, and a blonde female companion running behind them. 

Yugi took a moment to look at the blonde girl that was with Serenity. There was something awfully familiar about her and yet he found himself transfixed on her. 

"Excuse me" Serenity politely asked Yugi as she passed him. The girl with him gave him a small look as she passed running up behind Serenity. 

"Awww" Yami teased at Yugi, "Someone's got a girlfriend!" 

"Shut up!" he said aloud, not caring that no one could hear his Yami. 

"Excuse me, Miss Yuki Morimoto" Yugi turned to face the bellboy. "Here are your bags! Wait, um, can I have get your phone number?" 

Yami gasped, and Yugi, being the primary host at the moment, stood there. And like the wind, he zoomed out of there as fast as his feet could take him, leaving only a dust figure of himself.   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


**I'm working on make a small webpage (nothing fancy) so you guys can get a more better visualization of what each boy is supposed to turn out.**

**Sorry for being soooo lazy and slow with updates, summer school bites! But I finally off those evil pills (I had a condition over two weeks ago and the pills for it made me terribly tired) and I'm slowly recuperating from them and hope to regain my humor.**

**See ya!**   



	14. Part 4, Otogi and Bakura

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Comments:** Not so funny, but I thought I might as well write now or I'll never get to my favorite idea for this story. 

**Author's Note:** Nothing much to say, only Otogi and Bakura's turn! By the way, I would change Otogi to Duke, but I never saw those episodes or many episodes with Otogi being called Duke in English, only Otogi in Japanese. Sorry but I'm most comfortable with this! 

**Reviewers:**

**Cettie-girl **- All I can say is I'm going for a naïve Malik. Maybe, more than Joey? Yeah I feel bad for Yugi too, but he's going to be traumatized if I like it to be. I feel those duels aren't enough of a reality hit for Yugi. I made only little hints of bumping into one another, they'll see each other soon enough! Thanks for reviewing again! 

**ACME-Rian** – Not hang out really, but you can have a couple of lines with one of them and in fact, you can be an opponent to one of the guys! Just write who and I'll make sure. And if you want me to make you in a certain way, drop me a line! As for the site pics, I'll scan most of them, so it's fine, but I don't know yet. Thanks! 

**Duos-Bunnie** – Hey buddy-san! I hope to talk to you soon and I'm happy you like the fic so far. Tell your other self he should read my fic sometimes, it may be weird but you like it right! Thankies and see ya later! Keep E-mailing me so I can tell you what I plan next! 

**Princess Flame** – Well for Malik's look I thought of Yami Malik's look and then I thought to Lara croft, for she would wear something identical to Yami Malik's clothes, maybe? I look to their original clothing or fanart in deciding their looks, but I'm probably being weird. Sure I could put you in, but you'll more likely be an opponent to one of the guys. I'm not big on self-insertions, but I warn ya, I might get offensive at times, but if your sill up for it, then ya drop me a line! Thanks for reviewing. (By the way, I have Pegasus and Joey's deck, I shall be invincible too!) 

**sakuya** – It's my turn to laugh! Yeah, what DID he think! Poor guy! And Malik mind controls him! Thanks for reviewing! 

**Georgia** – Bakura and Otogi are in this chapter and I'm hoping for at least a decent reaction. I don't work well unless Otogi and Bakura are interacting with the rest of the group *sigh*. Thanks for saying I did a good job on ya, I'll give you one more cameo, okay! Byes! 

**linzy8554** – Poor, poor Malik, I torture him so! Maybe she did want a girl, but what mother doesn't want a girl? But she's got Yugi, one of the sweetest kids in the world. Thanks for reviewing! 

**unicornfan** – Many much thanks! (I'm being weird today!) I hope to talk to you soon! 

**britt0289** – LOL, a DMG fangirl! LOL, never thought of that! Thank you new reviewer! I'm relieved you like the fic! 

**sm-candy** – Forgive me for not waiting till for your E-mail. I waited so you could send me some of your ideas, but I can't wait any longer. Really thanks a lot for the support and ideas! 

**Dreamy-eyes **– Yeah you said please, but I WANT KAIBA! You asked for what more did I want, well I want him. I want Sesshoumaru too, and maybe Bankotsu…I keep writing if people keep reviewing! More motivation, but I WILL finish this fic…eventually…Thanks for reviewing! 

**Dee-whY-Cee-aR**e – *sniffle* I'm so cruel… but hey, I still love him! Hope you like this chapter! Thanks for reviewing again! 

**Water Dragon** – The contents of that room remains private! Poor traumatized Malik… Bye and Thanks! 

**onlyHAUNTED** – I want someone to draw fanart for me, but sigh. I have a pic that I modeled Bakura after (you have no idea how many pics there are female Bakura!). I'm working on that page so you may at least get some idea where I got their looks! Thanks for finding this fic good! 

**Ancient Angel** – You think this fic is good? I try my best, but being a computer major, I haven't thought this fic to be that good. Thanks for the comments, they mean a lot! 

**Trupana** – Why thank you! I need to improve my English and my sense of humor. I'm losing both to school. CURSE you Edumacation! Glad to see you back and for supporting me from the beginning *sniffle* 

**Ashes** – Yeah, I thought my English skills would suck. I'm this old and I still suck at English. I'm heading towards a computer career so English is less important now, but I'm trying to improve myself. I'm happy for you constructive criticism and really appreciate it! 

**LiLianJieGurl** – I have to give my Yaoi readers something, right? I'm not so big on that, but for some odd reason, it's okay if each thinks the other is a girl… weird, but it's true. Please, continue to read and review, I have to thank for doing so! 

**Peaches** – Please update your fic! I have to read more! What does "d4 m4s7aa" mean? I never got the chance to ask. Thanks for liking the fic and I talk to you later! 

**So… what's up guys?**

**Bakura: (*clenching fist*)**

**Otogi: (*Flicking dice*)**

**Pointless…yes!**

Those who helped make these boys makeover's possible were. (Yell at me if I forgot anyone! I'm being lazy to reread all my reviews if I took your idea, tell me that I did!) 

Ryujji Otogi - **_SweetCandie_**, **_Trupana_**

Ryou Bakura- **_Sailor Comet_**, **_Cettie-girl_**, **_sm-candy_**   


  


**_Steps to Success Part 4 (I don't know the Roman Numeral for 4)_**

  
  
  


"We're here!" Otogi announced as he parked his blue convertible. 

Otogi couldn't help but sigh deeply at his situation. All he could do was sigh! 

One moment he was enjoying a moment sitting and thinking of new ways of turning Duel Monsters into more "fun" and the next he was strapped to a chair, forced to shop, and fondled and mingled in ways that he wish never to speak of. 

He is referring to those actions being inflicted and forced by none other than "Otogi's Girls." Yes the horrible trio of monstrous fangirls that gave new meaning to the word "rabid" fangirl. 

Frowning he turned his head to view all three girls giggling and most likely plotting any more evil to Otogi. 

_I'm Otogi Ryujji, dammit! _ Otogi scolded, _I should have fought, I'm pretty sure I could have taken the middle one._

Otogi took a moment to ponder the thought. He sighed yet again, even if he took one out, they'd certainly fight amongst themselves thinking Otogi was acting "fresh" on that particular girl, they'd fight, and he'd get a headache! 

Forgetting the women in the car, he removed the keys from the ignition and grabbed his bag, leaving his fangirls to attend to his luggage. 

"See! I TOLD you he'd like his purse, right, Otogi-sama?" one girl giggled. 

So, Otogi left taking his "purse" with him and trying to forgot all together that comment that was made. It hurt is pride little by little that he was reduced to carrying a fluffy, red purse that clinked to his shoulder. 

Of course the purse was filled with dices he was hoping to bend his frustrations by flicking them on innocent bystanders, but that was for later. 

Otogi started to walk away from his adoring fans up to the entrance to the whole resort. His eye caught wind of four women running one after another up the stairs almost knocking down a shorter, raven-haired maiden. 

"Maybe I ought to help the young miss" this implying that he had other intentions in mind, however, Otogi stopped in his tracks. He looked down at himself and nearly forgetting that he couldn't possibly hit on the woman, being that his current situation restricted him from doing so. 

How could he possibly charm anyone with his new look? The vicious fangirls tampered with everything to turn him into his female self. They turned his dark hair to a lighter blonder hair and gave him pink eye contacts! Several perms and treatments turned his normal straight hair into to curly, voluminous hair. His face, his beloved tattoo removed (and not to mention painfully), added was maroon eye shadow with light red lipstick and pink blush to enhance him. The red choker with a dice design was around his neck. 

They gave him to wear a red, tank top with a short, black miniskirt, with black suspenders and completed with red sandals. 

"I'm one step away from being a trashy version of Shirley Temple!" he groaned. 

Otogi continued looking on towards the entrance, and before his eyes he say the raven-haired girl running up the stairs, yelping after speaking with a bellhop. 

"Wait!" Otogi yelled, "A Bellboy?!?" 

Not wasting a moment, Otogi ran up to the bellhop and tapping his shoulder to call his attention. 

"Say, you're also pretty!" He remarked. 

He unlike someone else, wasn't as paranoid, but turned away to avoid the boy's affectionate gaze. "Um? Excuse me? I thought there weren't any men allowed!" 

"Oh I just work here, only male employees allowed and BOY what a beautiful job it has become!" 

"Uh… yeah" the blonde "girl" replied. 

"May I ask, what's your name?" 

"Decia Devlina." He tried to rush right passed him, but the bellhop blocked his way. 

"Say, how about your number?" 

To that, Otogi yanked the bellhop by the collar and pulled him down to face him, he then reached inside his purse to pull out a dice "How about I shove this dice up your--" 

"Okay, Okay!" the scarred bellhop cried, "Never mind!"   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


Bakura wanted to kill. 

Anything would do. 

Some type of wildlife! 

The elderly! 

The Pharaoh! 

But, were there any around? No! 

At this time Bakura was on his way to Pegasus resort. 

Once there, oh yes he'd find that women with the Millennium Item and take it by force! 

Though he couldn't help that possibly he might have not thought things as thoroughly as he should have! 

He looked around and found his eyes on _her_! 

There was no other woman or man who could inflict more pain on him then Tea Gardner had. She was a cruel woman, no; there were no words to describe the utter humiliation she'd done onto him. 

For one, his host's beautiful hair was not white no more. Now that he thought about it white wasn't such a bad color, he would have stayed with that color. Yet she had to turn his color to PINK with dark pink highlights, going too far! _ Of all the colors of that blasted rainbow she picked pink!_ Bakura growled. 

But she didn't stop there; she put his hair up into two, pigtails buns tied up with red ribbons! She cut then brushed his bangs back over his hairs, only allowing a couple of strands over his face. But did she stop there, oh no! She gave him pink eye shadow, pink lipstick, pink blush and even pink glitter! There was so much pink, he was about to throw up on himself. 

To complete the look for a female version of Bakura, she dressed him in one version of a Japanese girl uniform. The uniform consisted of a beige jacket, hugging his hips, a white collared, long sleeved dress shirt, a red tie and a frilly short, matching beige skirt. He wore those high, kneed white stockings with brown dress shoes. It was completed with a spiky choker wrapped around his neck. 

This whole situation left Bakura sour. He sat in the Taxi that he and Tea were traveling in, constantly fidgeting with the ends of his skirts. 

Tea noticed Bakura constantly moving around "Something wrong Bakura?" 

"It's nothing!" _Besides the desire of sending you the Shadow Realm looming in my mind,_ Bakura's smile widened even more with the thought. 

Before both of them knew it, their taxi made a complete stop in front of Pegasus's resort. 

"So what's going to be my name?" Bakura asked Tea. She looked at him for a moment. 

"Hm… let's see…" she sat there thinking, "I know!" she announced, "How about Sakura Ryoko?" 

"That's … just fine!" He couldn't protest being he was under the pretext of being normal Bakura. 

Bakura stood there waiting for the taxi driver to unload their stuff from the trunk of the car. He waited until a car pulled up from behind, the radios blazing a particular song that irritated him. It wasn't the song itself, but the message. 

That particular song was ironically, "Dude looks like a Lady" by Aerosmith. **(A/N an AWESOME song, but I'm sure Bakura wouldn't agree, ne?)**

"I'll be right back!" he informed Tea, twitching nervously as he stomped over to the vehicle. Tea preoccupied at the moment didn't take notice of Bakura leaving. 

He walked up to the owner of the vehicle, who turned out to be a brute of a man, apparently coming over to drop his younger daughter off at the tournament. The man said his good-byes to his daughter and turned to find Bakura walking up to him. 

"Well, Well, Well, What do we have here?" he scoped out Bakura. 

Bakura only reply was to motion with one finger for the man to follow him to a deserted area. Apparently, the man mistook the act as being seductive, though it was all entirely sadistic. 

Later. 

Tea stood there, her hands on her hips looking angrily at the approaching Bakura, "Where were you?" 

"I feel so much better" was Bakura's reply, as he continued to walk passed the confused Tea. 

Somewhere. 

"Ow… the pain…" that man that asked to follow him was lying on the floor bruised. "…_That _was one hell of woman!"   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


**Short chapter, but eh! Couldn't think of anything! But I have lots of idea for the next chapter! Till then, BYE!**

**Oh please review, it makes my world go round and my hands type faster! But I don't mind if you don't, just enjoy!**   



	15. Lovely Random

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hello beloved readers!   
Sorry for the lateness of this chapter! 

You see, something very cruel happened to me… well not really… but it's still a tear-jerker… okay, it's not… I'll just come out and say it! It's been weeks since my last caffeine drink! (*Breaks out in tears*) This chapter was all forced! I had to use the old noggin'! 

Anyhoo,   
Last chapter, much to my surprise, received the most reviews! You peeps indulge me so! I won't keep you waiting and sooooo…. Dramatic drum roll please… 

And on with chapter! 

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, nope I don't! 

**_Not even Registered yet!_**

  
  
  
  
  


"… Couldn't you… have… waited… for … me?" 

Mai glared back at Seto Kaiba. Or rather Kimiko, tired from just the small jog up to the registration desk. Teasingly, "Ka-Kimiko you need to get into shape! You can't have the perfect body if you just deprive yourself of food" An idea struck her, and evil one at that, she motioned towards Kaiba and…. 

"I DO NOT--Eep!" he stared in disbelief as after he felt Mai pinch him on the behind. 

Mai grinned mischievously after she'd pinched THE Seto Kaiba on the behind. "It's like Tickle me Elmo expect with you get a reaction _somewhere_ else!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

Seto Kaiba grumbled to himself as he searched for somewhere to escape from Mai. Kaiba could have mistaken Mai giving him sexual advances, but he knew better. She was only trying to rile him up. Even so, he felt degraded by Mai, and bit disturbed all at the same time. The corner of his eye he found a perfect place to plot himself down on. 

The resort was quite elegant. Filled with red velvet tapestry and cushy red couches. Kaiba reclined on the couch he found for himself. After he felt comfortable, his eyes happened to stumble upon a magazine littered on the floor. "What's this?" the CEO inquired. The look of shock spread across his face as he looked to what the contents of the magazine were. 

It wasn't' that sort of magazine! It more shocking than THAT kind of magazine! For across the top, were titles "Duel Monsters Digest" and a picture of him with the words 'Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp.' He continued to read the rest, 'We counted the votes! See if your favorite made the cut' 

Curiously Kaiba flipped though a couple of more pages till he came up to one particular page. "Most… sexiest…" Kaiba stuttered, "…bad boy…" 

He could not help but stutter, for that page had a picture of him at the World Championship competition and deemed him as "bad boy." The topping of the cake was right next too his page was a picture of Yugi Mutou, his rival, who was deemed as 'Most Bestest Westest Cutie!' 

"…Bestest? Westest? THOSE AREN'T EVEN WORDS!!!" 

He flipped at the next page and winced. For there was a goofy, grinning, Joey Wheeler and the words "Most sultry!" 

"WHO WRITES THIS GARBAGE!?! I'LL HUNT THEM DOWN, I'LL--" 

He stopped his rambling as everyone stared at him, clutching the magazine in one hand and clenching the other. He slumped down back to his seat, not without letting out one last groan and unconsciously pouting… 

**-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-**

Malik Ishtar stepped out of the vehicle, happily and bubbly as the evildoer he was. He skipped up the steps, absent-mindedly of course. 

Isis looked on, watching her brother's behavior. She groaned, thinking, "Even as a girl he doesn't change…" 

"Ma'am?" the driver of their transportation asked, "Here, Your belongings?" Laid out in front of Isis we're their luggage. 

"Well?" Isis glared back and forth form Rishid and the driver, "Pick up our stuff and take it in for us!" 

"Ma'am that isn't a part of my job—" 

Rishid stared wide-eyed at the driver. He gulped as he turned to see a strange yet expected aura appear around Isis. 

"NOW!" 

"Yes, Ma'am!" both driver and Rishid scrambled to pick up the luggage and each with extraordinary strength they never knew they had, picked up and ran with all of the belongings. 

"That's my sister!" Malik said as Isis walked up to him. He stood there, arms opened waiting for a hug from his older sister. 

Silence 

Malik continued to grin. 

Isis glared. 

Again silence… 

Her eyes squinted slightly. 

He continued to smile. 

And then…. 

"Oh Malik-poo, I wuv you!" Isis embraced her brother. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Wow!" Tea's eyes were star struck as she entered the registration room of the resort. Everything was elegantly decorated from top to bottom. 

Ryou Bakura, or to say Yami Bakura pretending to be Ryou Bakura whose pretending to be Ryoko Sakura, walked in dragging his luggage, looked at the room with a different reaction. As far as he could tell, there were families saying bye to one another, useless chatter between strangers, and annoying laughter emerging from impotent girls. 

"…Urge to kill rising…." 

"What did you say Bakura?" Tea asked. 

"Nothing…" he corrected. But if Bakura had a barometer for destruction it would have popped by now. 

"We have to register first Bakura… oops I keep forgetting, I mean Sakura!" 

"Woman! Oops I forgot, I mean Tea…" Bakura mocked Tea. 

"You know what, you add a little make-up and you'd almost think you were a whole other person!" she turned around. Bakura glared at her madly, and to soothe his anger, he chocked the purse she'd bought him hoping it was some victim of his in its place. 

"Well hel-_lo"_ another female approached them. Bakura gritted his teeth in frustration. Another person was annoying him today. All he wished for was for some quiet … yes quiet was good, you could do many things when it's quiet and all there is a victim and himself… 

"Let me introduce myself, I am Ot-Oh so delighted Decia Devlina!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

Otogi approached the two women, hoping to find out more of the certain pink-haired maiden. Yet, she showed indifference. The 'pink-haired girl' pushed passed her companion and continued on her way. 

"Please excuse her, I'm Tea!" 

"No wait! I didn't get to know your name!" Otogi yelled out to his target, not noticing Tea at all. "Darn" he snapped his fingers. 

Tea blinked at the curly haired girl, who turned to face her. "I guess you'll have to do-- TEA!!!" 

She looked at him strangely for his sudden outburst. Otogi covered his mouth from saying anything else damaging 

_It's Tea! What is she doing here?_ Otogi coughed, "Uh, nice to meet you Tea" this time saying her name more calmly, "Uh… See you later!" he dashed off, leaving only a dust trail of himself behind. 

"Strange girl…" Tea scratched her head, baffled as 'she' ran away. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

Somewhere, apparently lost between the parking lot and the entrance… 

"Otogi-sama!" 

"No-No! Baka! It's Decia! D-E-C-I-A" 

"I'm hungry!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

Serenity and Joey Wheeler both made their way up to the grand reception room, where all participants had to register. 

"Mai-san!" Serenity called out, spotting Mai in line waiting to register. 

"Oh hey guys!" Mai called over, "Where'd you guys go to?" 

Joey spoke up, " Where's Kimiko?" 

"She was too tired from running here that I told her to sit down for a while. Oh looks like I'm next!" 

"Hi and welcome! Your name is?" the female receptionist welcomed Mai with a warm smile. 

"Kujaku Mai. I'm also here to register my friend, last name Kimiko" she handed both Kaiba and her registration cards. 

"Okay, Miss Kujaku and Kimiko." She ruffled through a couple of keys, "Here you two go!" the young woman handed over two pairs of keys. "Enjoy your stay!" 

"Eh?" Mai asked puzzled as she inspected the two keys had the same number. "Why is there room 102 on both keys?" 

"You'll be in same room." 

_In the same room as Kaiba!?!? _" You have to be kidding? I can't sleep in the same room as he-r?" 

"Aren't you and Kimiko-san friends, Mai-san?" Serenity inquired. 

"Uh-That is- Um…" there was no way to get out of this predicament, she sighed heavily, "Fine whatever…." Mai stormed off. 

"What's her problem…nee-san?" Serenity nudged Joey. 

"I don't know" Joey scratched his head. 

"And your names are?" the young women/receptionist asked. 

"Joni Dealer" 

"Serenity Wheeler" 

"You'll guys we'll be staying in room 103. Enjoy your stay!" 

"Thanks a lot!" 

Both siblings about to walk off when they spotted "it" 

"Serenity…." Calmly Joey whispered. 

"Nee-san…" Serenity replied as calmly as Joey spoke. 

"Do you…?" 

"Yes… I do…" 

"It's breathtaking…" 

"… It's like I'm at Disneyland…" 

"… This feels… as if I'm watching myself on a podium accepting my Number 1 duelist sash…" 

"Sash?" 

"Never mind! It's so beautiful…" 

"Nee-san…" 

"THERE'S AN ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET!!!" the both exclaimed, pushing each other out of the way running over to their prize. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"…Although bad-tempered, this hunk-a-hunk of burning love fires up the dueling stage with his own style of 'White Lightning'… what kind of writing is this!?!?!" Seto yelled. Anger surged through him as he kept reading. 

After he finished reading, he scanned the room and paused as his eyes captured a stunning women come walking. He watched her as she walked in, the wind blowing at her, showing every curve, and blowing at her 'raven hair.' The least to say, he was struck at the girl's almost supermodel entrance.   
-- 

Otogi slumped down in a nearby chair. He'd never been so depressed in his life. At a time like this when he was surrounded by beautiful women and his troop of fan girls were nowhere to be found he should have been happy, yet he could do nothing because he was a girl himself. 

As Otogi was down, his eyes had caught a raven-haired beauty walk down the hall. But something was strange indeed, for this girl walked as the wind blew at her, like in a movie when a pretty girl makes the scene. 

"Still, what a hot girl!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"AHHH who put this fan on! It's way to strong!" Yugi yelled. As soon as he walked in he felt a large gusts of wind hit him. Wind kept blowing on him, pushing his hair and clothes back. 

"Whoa! Can someone kill the fans!" a man called out, although a faint chuckle could be heard. 

Yugi or a.k.a. Yuki was caught of guard and tripped. One moment he was fighting the very winds themselves, the next someone turned them off causing him to fall face down. 

This also many young men to crowd behind him to sneak a peek for Yugi was wearing a short dress and was on all fours. 

"Shoo!" Grandpa Mutou yelled, a broom in arm, swinging it to rid of the men. Yugi's mom trailed close behind him. 

"Hey there, are you all right?" Yugi felt an arm help him back to his feet. Yugi rose to his feet to come face to face with a familiar person. "I'm sorry about that miss. I apologize for the fans. I would like to welcome you to Pegasus Resort and Casino! I'm your Host, Tristan Taylor" 

"There's a casino?" Yugi's mother eyes lighted up. 

"Tristan! What are you doing here?" Voiced Grandpa. 

The shocked Yugi started up at none other than his friend, Tristan. "Y-Y-You work here, Tristan?" 

"Yes I got a summer job" 

Everyone gasped at those words. Even Yugi's mother who didn't even know Tristan! 

"…Um… what's so scary about that?" Tristan stared at the three. He'd recognized Yugi's grandfather, but the other two he never meet. Why'd they'd be shocked at him getting a job, it's not like they know him or anything. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"This is certainly a difficult choice…." Malik awed. 

"I must agree with you Master Mal…on… Malon, Even if you think either watching Friends on the WB or the Superstation is difficult… and they both show reruns of the same sitcom…" 

"In which one do we go?" Malik asked Rishid, who too was just as puzzled. 

Rishid was forced to accompany Malik as Isis as she went off to a bar. Both men stood in front of the entrance to two rooms, the Ladies' Room or the Men's Room. 

It shouldn't have been difficult seeing as they were dressed up as women they HAD to enter the ladies room. However, Malik had to go badly and there were about 20 women waiting to use the restroom. The Men's Restroom was not occupied and there were no signs of any men in the near vicinity. 

Malik, wondering what was taking Rishid to come up with any response, tugged on him to grab his attention. 

But no avail, Rishid was deep in thought and Malik was going to explode if he didn't do something quick. 

They stood there for another minute or two till a woman passed in front of them. The 'pink-haired' woman didn't even bother waiting in line with the other 20 women and went straight for the men's Room, mumbling "Outta of my way, fools" 

Malik took this action as a sign to follow suit, someone then shouted, "HEY you can't do that!!" he turned to see that another woman had caught him trying to use the Men's restroom. 

"But I need to goooo!" he pleaded 

"I have to too, you'll just have to wait in line!" 

"Oh, yeah?" Malik threatened. 

"YEAH!" 

"That's it!" He yelled, pulling out his Millennium Rod from it's hiding place. He was about to attack the woman, till he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

"…Just control her and make her jump of a cliff or something…" Rishid suggested. 

"Rishid…" tears of happiness formed in Malik's eyes, "I've never felt so close to you…" 

"… You're going to do it anyways! After you get beaten, you'll start to complain, then you'll think 'hey, I have the Millennium Rod I'll use that instead' So save me the trouble of being scold by Isis from your injuries. Just use the Rod…" 

"Stupid Bitch" the woman yelled as she tackled Malik. 

"Too late…" sighed Rishid. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


Hiya! Well I didn't feel like building up the plot yet… cuz I wanted to be random like always. So anyways, please review! They mean a lot to me! 

As usual, errors and typos will be corrected later, because i'm a blind bat who doesn't see any till later on. 

…Well originally I planned to end this early, but I haven't thought about HOW I'm going to end it, but I also felt bad that I hadn't updated. So this was a good chapter update, right? 

Couple of notes though, that 'The Most' Whatever list was made up by me for humor and it's my opinion of course. Also I forgot about Tristan, but I fit him in didn't I? Last but not least, I won't change the fact that Rishid to Odion because that would require work and I hate work! 

**Also I want to make a 200 review special for ya guess so you can have another update. Send in any questions you have directed to either your favorite guy or to me. Then I'll have them respond the best I can. It could be anything, like 'Hey Yugi, why does Grandpa always have a broom with him?' or 'Kaiba, how come your depressed after being awarded 'best' bad boy? Or 'Hey authoress, why is Malik so naïve?'**

So hit me with those questions and once I hit 200 reviews (Here's to hoping, I'd be very delighted once I do) I'll make a special. 

Till then, Bye-Bye!   
  



	16. A lot of Emotion!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hello. 

People I want to make some things straight! First off, forget what I've said in the past. Since I have been so busy lately, I have to say that I can't remember any of my original ideas for the story. Sorry! I can't remember anything anymore! So I'm starting off fresh this time! I apologize! 

About the 200 special, even if I haven't reached that goal, I'll still continue to write, because it's fun! Questions are still being accepted and will be answered once I do hit 200. I hope that I do get 200 after this chapter, because you get another chapter immediately once I do! 

Oddly, this chapter is more uh, fuzzy and fluffy, although it wasn't intentional. I just finished watching **_Cardcaptor Sakura_**, so I'm weird inside. I can't come up with anything. Last times I wrote I had just finished watching the **_Shaman King_** (An excellent anime series, in Japanese of course!) I was happy and since it's a comedy (sometimes) I wrote funny chapters for all my stories, or tried to at least. Well enjoy! 

And again, although this is a non-yaoi story, technically it is and it isn't! Only the way you view it!   


**Thank you ALL for reviewing, I want to write back to you individually in the 200 special.**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, but I bought a lot of their products! But it belongs to them technically.   


  


**_Chapter 15: All Flustered_**

  
  
  
  
  


"And that's the end of that!" Malik proudly stood, waving his Millennium Rod in his had as if it were a baton. In front of him stood his victim, the woman who dared to attack him. 

Rishid, his loyal follower, shook his head. He knew this would happen eventually, Malik would take control of someone with his Millennium Item, by the way was decorated to be a wand instead of a Rod. 

"Take her away, Rishid!" Malik ordered as she shoved the mindless woman at Rishid. 

All the while, the pink-haired girl walked out of the bathroom, looking rather pleased and relaxed. She stopped and looked at the scene unfolding before her. "What is going on?" Bakura asked, not referring to anyone in particular. 

"Throw her off a cliff or something" he ordered again. This time, his commonly gleeful face was now replaced with a stern one. "Think of something to get rid of her!" 

Bakura stopped to stare at the girl before him. _Purple hair… well-built… light blue eyes… a weird looking wand…? Nothing too special, just another woman... _He thought as he took in her features. 

"Get to it, Rihana!" the purple-haired girl barked to her companion. 

_… What is this I'm feeling?_ Bakura looked flustered, something began to creep up his spine. 

"Hmm?" Malik turned to find someone staring at him, "Yo!" he waved to her. 

_…I'm not moving… _Indeed Bakura wasn't budging, he felt himself get all heated up. 

"Oh wait" something dawned on Malik he lifted a finger to the air, "I still have to use the bathroom. I guess peoples demises are going to have to wait till later!" he said dashing off, leaving Bakura standing there. 

Bakura stood there, puzzled by his recent actions. 

"Bakura!" 

"AHHH" he jumped at the call of his name. 

"What's wrong?" He looked behind to see that Tea was standing right behind. 

"I-I-It's n-nothing, nothing at all" a blush streaked his features. 

"Oh. Well you were zoning out till I called out your real name. Come on, I have to go register us!" 

"Don't pull on me woman!" but he pleas went unheard, as Tea yanked him towards the registration desk. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"I'm afraid we're going to have to leave now" Yugi's mom announced as she crouched giving her son a hug goodbye, "eh? Where's your grandfather?" 

"He isn't here." Yugi declared. 

"That's fine, I'll just wait for him at the Casino. If you see him, tell him to find me there. Bye, Yugi-chan, be good and good luck with your lady friend!" 

He blushed, "Thanks mom, later!" 

As he waved to his mother as she disappeared in the crowds of people, a realization hit Yugi like a ton of bricks. "…Grandpa… is alone… at an all female resort…" he froze, "…oh no…" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Ah that was good!" sighed Serenity, as she patted her full stomach. 

"Sis, we should bond like this more often" the dirty blonde haired Joey responded. 

"Hey, where'd did all the food go!!" a nearby person asked. 

"So, Sis we'd better head up to our room. I bet our stuff is up there already!" 

"Okay" Serenity agreed. 

"Um, excuse me!" Both siblings turned to see a raven-haired girl, very short look up to them. "Have you've seen an old man around here?" 

Joey arched an eyebrow, "No, can't say that I have." 

"… Darn, where is that pervert?" Yugi mumbled, making sure they hadn't heard. He was desperate to ask Serenity if she had known where his grandfather had gone, but he hadn't any luck. "Anyways, thanks for the help!" 

"Wait a minute, what's your name? The names Joni Dealer" 

"Yuki Morimoto." Yugi smiled. 

"Wait! Watch out for--" 

Crash! 

"Those stairs…." Winced Joey, as he and Serenity went running over to the girl's aid. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"ACK!" 

"Itai…" 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Yugi exclaimed, after falling down he apparently landed on someone. "I tripped and—oh I'm sorry!" 

"It's okay" Kaiba assured, surprisingly acting kindly. _ Well only this one time._ "Watch out next time." 

"Look, it's Kimiko-san!" Serenity called as she and Joey came down the stairs. 

Kaiba looked to see that Serenity and Joni were both rushing down. Serenity went over to help the girl that fell on him. Joni walked over and reached a hand out for Kaiba to get up. He promptly slapped the hand away, "I don't need **_your_** help!" 

"Whatever, I'm going up to my room. Are you okay, Yuki-san?" the fumed Joey asked the girl he'd just meet. 

"Yes, I'm fine, but it's she you should be worried about." Yugi motioned for Kaiba, bending down to help him up. "Are you all right?" 

"Yes, I'm fine…" Kaiba said, oddly accepting her help. 

"Hey YOU!" barked Joey, pointing a finger to Kaiba. 

"What is it?" Kaiba glared at Joey in return. 

"ON-EESAN!" Serenity called out, currently both her brother, now sister for the meantime, and their new friend Kimiko were engaged in a staring contest. 

Yugi all this time stood there watching, being almost nostalgic about the whole thing. 

"What's wrong girls?" a figure walked up, standing besides Yugi. 

"Tristan!!!" Joey moved his finger and pointed at Tristan looking formal! "Why are you here?" 

To the side, Kaiba, Yugi and Serenity stood silent, as they watched Tristan approach Joey. He stopped in front of Joey and took his hands into his own. Joey looked shocked to see that Tristan was lovingly looking at him and holding his hands caressing it. This caused Serenity to gasp and the two other women looking at one another, confused at Tristan's bold actions towards Joni. Both knew who Tristan were, being so, they were glad that Tristan weren't interested in them at the moment. 

"It's not polite to point, madam…May I have your number?" Little bubbles and hearts surrounded Tristan, anime style. 

"Tristan!" Serenity grabbed for his attention. 

"Oh! It's Serenity" Tristan fumbled as he let go of Joey's hand, being that his crush Serenity was there. "I'm happy to see you!" moving as fast as lightning, he held her hand. Joey was too dramatized to notice. 

"Wait right there!" 

The group turned to see a curly blonde haired woman standing on a podium, with her arms at her hips, looking rather angrily at them. 

"Tristan, lay your hands off the fair Serenity!" the infuriated Otogi warned. He'd been walking by, till he say Tristan and _his_ Serenity holding hands. Thinking that it'd be only logical that the vile Tristan was forcing sweet Serenity to it! 

"Who are you?" Sernity asked, Otogi doing a double take. 

"What do you mean, who I am? It' me Ot—hmph!" 

Otogi wasn't able to finish the sentence as his three girls dragged him down from the podium, gagging him. 

"What are you three doing!??!" 

"Otogi-sama, you're Decia remember?" whispered Otogi Girl #1 in his ear. 

With that being said, Otogi got up and stood on the podium once again. "… What I meant to say is that it is I, Decia, the one destined to win this dueling." 

"Wanna bet?" Joey, Yugi, and Kaiba said in unison. 

"Oh nice to meet you!" Serenity greeted, causing groans to go around. 

"Kimiko-chan" a sweet voice called out, _oh no…_ Kaiba groaned, as he fears were realized, Mai was walking up to them. 

"Mai-san!" 

"Oh, it's Serenity. Hey, Joni. Hey, look it's Triton!" 

"Tristan, the name's Tristan." 

"Testing, 1,2,3, Testing 1,2,3. Hello everyone and welcome to Pegasus resort and Casino. We'll be starting Orientation soon, so will everyone go to register so we may start. Thank you!" the announcer pronounced over the speakers. 

"That voice sounded familiar…" Yugi mentioned, being the first to bring it up. 

"It must be nothing!" Mai said grabbing Kaiba's arm, who looked upset over the whole thing "Let's go get our seats." 

"Wait for us, Mai-san." Serenity called, mimicking the same actions as Mai, only grabbing her brother instead. 

"Well, I still have to go register." Otogi shrugged as he walked off 

"Me too, better go make a line!" Yugi went following Otogi.   


"Here you go, Room 105!" the woman handed Yugi a key. 

"Thank you very much!" 

"Next!" 

Yugi was about to continue walking off till he saw who'd been right behind him, and it as Tea! 

"Okay, Miss Gardner, Here you are, Room" Yugi could feel time stop as the woman said the next three digits. "105. Have a nice day!" 

"NOOOOO!" he yelled in defeat, being that one of his best friends was going to sleep in the same room as him, and worse off he was dressed as Yuki! 

Everyone stooped to stare at him. 

"NOOO… the bathroom is out of… toilet paper?" Trying his hardest to cover himself from his outburst. 

"We'll get you some right away ma'am." The receptionist finished giving Tea her key, "Next! Name please?" 

"Ryoko Sakura" plain and simple, Bakura stated his fake name. 

"Okay, Sakura, room 106. Hope you enjoy your stay here!" 

"Wait" Tea interrupted, "Can't we have the same room!" 

"I'm sorry, it's on a first come first serve basis." The receptionist replied, "But you'll be sharing a bathroom together, both rooms have doors leading to the same restroom." 

"It's okay Tea," Bakura assured, "I'm not stupid enough to let anyone know my identity." 

"Next! Your name is?" 

"Ife Malon" 

"Room 106, have a good day, miss!" 

His jaw dropped. Bakura's mouth dropped for the first time ever as he saw the diabolical girl with the purple hair he'd seen earlier was going to share a room with him. The idea gave him an unfamiliar feeling. And also gave him five shades of red all over his face. 

Malik looked to see the same girl he'd just say moments ago stare at him. He gasped, the girl jumped at the action. "Don't tell me--!" 

Bakura terrified at what the purple haired girl was going to say. 

Malik finished off his statement, "Don't tell me that I have something in my teeth!!! Isis! I'm feeling sad. I'm going to need to torture something!" 

The mere sentence made Bakura's heart jump. This girl was too evil to be true! 

"Be quiet, can't you see I have to share a room with Rihana. I can't have you sleeping in another person's room! Lady! I demand you change me with Malon!" 

"I SUGGEST," the woman fumed, giving an aura even scarier than Isis, "That you calm down and adjust to your arrangements with your other friend here" pointing to Rishid, "You'll share the same bathroom, so you won't be that far apart" 

"Fine" Isis huffed, "Not that I'm afraid of you!" 

"Get moving, now!!" 

Isis walked off with Rishid in toe. Malik was left behind. "Wait, Wait for meeee!" he called as he ran after them. 

"We ought to be going right Sakura? Sakura?" Tea grabbed Bakura by the arm. Bakura felt as if he was in some kind of trance, some feeling was beckoning him and hated it! 

"Okay, who's next?" 

"I am beautiful!" Otogi announced. The receptionist awkwardly coughed. "That is your so beautiful, that is, who does your hair? And your skin, it's so toned!" Quickly he covered up his mistake. 

"Well, I go to Badith Keith Hair Salon and then there's Bones's Nail academy…." She went on and on. Poor Otogi. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

I know I suck at writing something when I'm not hyper… I'm hungry actually… but I didn't want to keep you waiting. Grammar and Spelling of course is horrible! Plot isnt' moving, but more chapters are coming up, because like I said, I had it planned out but forgot so technically i'm stalling for time! Bye! 


	17. 200 Special, Sorry peeps no new chapter!

Please take note, I wrote this over a month ago and BARELY finished.  This will keep things tied over till the next chapter, which I PROMISE is being written and up soon!  General mistakes apply as usual.  This was poorly written, I had to rush to make up for my absence.  Please forgive me!

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not claim to own any of the animes written for this story.  I own nothing!!

Booyaka!  Yes I have at last 200 reviews… *sniffle* I could cry!  I have to extend my dearest and meaningful thanks to you all.  

Lovely day! They finally released Vol.15 (ep. 130-138, The Battle City Finals).  KAIBA, I wuv you! It brought enough energy to write!

Yes, this 200 special does involve me talking to cartoons characters that don't exist!  Also written in SCRIPT FORM cause I'm lazy!  Good enough excuse for me!

And noooooooooooooooowwwwwww

**_200 Review Special!_**

YOGI: Let me introduce my co-host, my figment of my imagination and also star (or should be!) of Shaman King, Hao!!

HAO:  Thank you, Thank You, you may discontinue you worshipping, you flatter me so!

(*Crickets chirp*)

Sorry, Hao… I'm afraid only some people know you… but I still love you!  Yet! I must ask you to leave, and let me bring out my real co-hosts!  Say hello, to Malik Ishtar, Seto Kaiba, Yugi Mutou, Ryou Bakura, Ryujji Otogi, annnnnnnnnd Joey Wheeler.

(*Spotlight shines atop of two red curtains.  After few moments, there comes a realization that the boys are nowhere to be found…*)

YOGI: Uh….

HAO: Look who's praising Hao-sama now, hmm?  **(Leaves)**

YOGI: They're just shy! I made them get into _new _costumes, in honor of Halloween.  They must've run off somewhere!

YAMI BAKURA: **(from the shadows)** I hate you woman!  Gah! What are you doing!! Let go of me!

YOGI: Seems security has found Baku-kun first!  Please welcome, Card Captor Bakura!

YAMI BAKURA: **(appears wearing one of Cardcaptor Sakura's costumes, from the anime _Cardcaptor Sakura_)**  (*grumblegrumble*)

YOGI: So glad you could join us Bakura, while my followers, the random people I found off the street, go in chase of the others, I shall start with you! First off, the whole idea for Bakura's wardrobe in the story was brought to by a fanart done by an exceptional Japanese artist. The whole schoolgirl look was great and I thought, might as well use it. 

YAMI BAKURA: Curse your lack of imagination!  It was YOU or rather you're helpers (Yes lovely reviewers I appreciate all your suggestions)!  I didn't ask to have Fushigi Yugi's Miaka hairstyle!  Miaka and me don't even come in the same category!  Pink??  You dare to paint my whit locks with pink?!?!? 

YOGI: Yes… well you see…

YAMI BAKURA: **(mutters)** stupid authoress and that fanart…

YOGI: Now, let me take some other questions!

**LiLianJieGurl:** What type of clothes would you wear if you had the choice and didn't have to wear Ryou's clothes?

YAMI BAKURA: Hey you know, Sakura had a magical wand, where's mine!  Well, if I weren't being used as a cheap object, I wouldn't be caught in this.  (Eyes his current, pink bow and frilly pink dress) I'm fond of my black and white stripped, professional thief suit.

YOGI: Um, Bakura, that's the Hambu… nevermind…  Hey Bakura, can I talk to Ryou for a bit?

YAMI BAKURA: No!   I wouldn't give you the pleasure of seeing him—

**FUWAKUM!**

RYOU (not YAMI BAKURA, rubs his head.): where am I?

YOGI: I just love using the Millennium Ring to bonk him on the head.  Hey Ryou!

ROU: **(looking dazed)** Hey…

YOGI: Mhmm… I say you look conscious enough to answer questions.

**Dreamy Eyes:** Hey authoress, I'm a big (and I mean BIG) Ryou fan. Will he be making an appearance at all or will it just be Yami Bakura.

YOGI: It's directed to me, I'd have to say, well this won't be Ryou's last appearance ^_^

**Cettie-girl** : Ryou, How are you reacting to what your Yami's up to (or did he block you out completely)?

RYOU: He's doing what?  What's he doing?

YOGI: Ryou, you'll find out soon, VERY soon!  Don't worry you'll get the answer in the next chapter!  That's enough! Take him away! 

(*Someone who's dressed as Kero's drags the raving Ryou away, who yelled, "He's done WHAT!!*)

Next is Yugi! Yugi, come on out!

YUGI: **(timidly)** no….

YOGI: Just come out!  Let me introduce, Sailor Yugi!

YUGI: **(audience hoots as Yugi walks across the stage.  Currently he is decked out in Sailor Moon's clothes from the anime Sailor Moon.)** um… hello

YOGI: Yugi!  Yugi!  Welcome, um, your quite popular today aren't' ya?

YUGI: I'm glad you didn't have the gull to have Yami come out.

RANDOM PERSON: Yami??!?!?  Where?

ANOTHER RANDOM PERSON: Take it off!

YOGI: Ladies, please.  Let me describe look I was striving for Yugi.  The dress was more or so based on Anna's from Shaman King.  Hair would remind me off Amelia from The Slayers.  That's pretty much it. Okay!  Questions?

**LiLianJieGurl**: Yami, what brand of Egyptian eyeliner do you prefer?

YUGI: Let me ask him, one second**. (rubs his forehead as he tries to communicate with Yami**) He says, "I refuse to answer that question!" I would tell you, but I'm afraid of the consequences he could invoke.

**ACME-Rian**: Yugi,Do you feel insulted at me?I'm 13 and 5' 2"!Please don't hurt me...

YUGI: (confused) I'd never hurt you!  I'm not insulted.  

**Dreamy Eyes:** Hey Yugi, why does Grandpa always have a broom with him?

YUGI: Grandpa says, it's a "weapon of choice against punks", but I don't understand old people lingo.  I'm sorry I can't tell you the story behind it.  Although that one time he used it to lift that girl's, uh, **(blushes)** well let's just say he got a well-deserved slap.

**Dew-Shan of Egypt**: do you ever think that you'll get over the trauma you felt when your mom almost called you her daughter? And how do you feel being voted the Bestest Westest Cutie?

YUGI: **(sniffle) **Mommy can be so cruel sometimes.  I'm sure she said those things because she hadn't gambled in a while.  Bestest Westest?  I had no idea, maybe I should ask Kaiba for the magazine.

YOGI: Time's up!  Sorry Yugi, you have to go!

Yugi: Can I get out of this please?  The long pigtailed wig itches!   

(*Sailor Tea, as a Sailor Scout too, appears dragging Yugi away*)

YOGI: Next is Seto Kaiba, the object of my affection.

MAIN SECURITY GUARD: **(runs in)** Mistress of the depth of evil fanfic writers!  

YOGI (and some of the audience): Yes?

MAIN SECURITY GUARD: It seems that Seto Kaiba has taken out all of the men and fangirls you've sent!  We're currently working on stage 2!

KAIBA: **(off in the distance) **Damn you!  NO!  Stop that Mokuba!  Not the eyes!  

_Voluntarily_ coming out to greet you all, is the one and only … uh… Eva Pilot Kaiba!

KAIBA: (fumbles on the stage) Where does that kid get his hypnotic powers… YOU!  Yes you, why'd you fit me in these… (*cough*) tight clothes.  

YOGI: I'm sorry Kaiba, but you look great as Rei from Neon Genesis Evangelion. In I My Me, Oh My!  Kaiba's look was based off Mai. I used the wardrobe combination of Mai and Quistis from Final Fantasy VIII.  The hair would most likely look as Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon.  But for now, the tight white, piloting suit looks great…good…fabulous… AHEM, anyways, let's take some questions shall we.

KAIBA:  … shove it!

**LiLianJieGurl**: what do you think of the other bishies'(yugi/yami, joey, otogi, malik, bakura, tristan) hairstyles (as guys still)?

KAIBA:  Yugi's; a porcupine and a great Christmas decoration. Joey's; get a haircut, someone can get lost in your hair. Otogi's; We live in the 90's!. Malik's; Strange… Bakura's; Dye jobs can do wonders. Tristan's; AHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! 

**Dreamy Eyes**: Hey Kaiba, how come your depressed after being awarded 'best' bad boy?  
  


**Dragon Master's Mistress**: I second that question!

KAIBA: I'm not depressed, simply annoyed.  How'd you like it if you were used as piece of meat?

YOGI: **(staring at Kaiba)** Huh?  What? **(sees Kaiba's glare)** Ehehehe, you're free to leave Kaiba **(does so)**…would you look at those---

KAIBA: **(Behind the curtains) **Wheeler if I have to out there so do you!

JOEY: Wait a minute!  (**is shoved out of the curtains)**

YOGI: Please welcome, Dark Magician Girl Joey!

JOEY: (tries to pull down the short skirt he's wearing) Doesn't the English Dark Magician Girl have a longer skirt?  

YOGI: Sit down!  Joey's look is based off, well I think wardrobe of Hisoka from Yami no Matsuei and the hair from Sniper Wolf from Metal Gear Solid. Okay questions, please.

**LiLianJieGurl**: Who looks better as a girl, you or Mai?

JOEY: **(blushes) **Er, Um… is it getting hot in here? Uh… I guess, Mai… **(turns red as a tomato)**

YOGI: …okay… well Joey it was fun, but you gotta go, if you find Otogi send him my way, will ya?

JOEY: sure… (**runs off)**

Malik appears.

MALIK: **(sarcastically)** Oh great hiding place Rishid!  Rishid?  Rishid?  Where'd you go?

YOGI: Malik!  How good you to join us.  Stand over here, please welcome Tomb Raider's Lara Croft Malik!

MALIK: Couldn't' come up with anything else?

YOGI: No… not really.  As you know I made Malik have Lara's Croft's hair.  The clothes however are the same as Yami Malik's only made for a woman!  Now for questions.

**Isis Hotep**: why is Malik acting so INNOCENT? and y hasn't Yami Malik come into the picture yet?PLZ ANSWER ME!

MALIK: … innocent?

YOGI: I'll answer this one Malik, sit back and look pretty for me.  Well, for one Malik is SO serious and has lived a sheltered life so I thought, what if he wasn't as wordly as we thought he was.  Yami Malik made a small appearance before with Isis' comb, but he'll return.

**LiLianJieGurl** : what brand of Egyptian eyeliner do you prefer?

MALIK: Cairo's Maybelline line.

**Dreamy Eyes**: why is Malik so naïve?

YOGI: I answered this before, but might as well say, He's CUTE this way!

RISHID: **(also appears)** Master Malik we must hurry, Isis is searching for us!  She got the look of blood in her eyes!

MALIK: **(Shakespearean)** Away Rishid.  Let us Flee!

YOGI: **0_0  **I seriously need to catch up on my reading.  Lastly and let's hope without any delay, welcome the womanizer himself,  Sorceress Otogi.

OTOGI: **(sighs a sign of relief)** I glad you made me Lina Inverse.  She doesn't show much skin.

Watch what you say, she might appear out of the Slayer's Universe and Fireball you.  Wardrobe wise was taken from Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy VII and hair was made up, so think along the lines of curly, bouncy, short hair.  

**LiLianJieGurl**: which guy re-made as a girl would you pick?

OTOGI: Well If I didn't know WHO they were I'd pick, hm, Joey I guess.

TRISTAN: **(walks by)** Hey, Otogi… wow sorry ma'am I thought you were someone else.

OTOGI: **(Looks confused)**

YOGI: Hey Tristan, now that you're here someone else asked you a question.

**Dew-Shan of Egypt**: why is he such a loser in love? *GASP* IS HE RELATED TO BROCK FROM POKeMON?!?!?!?!?!?  
  


TRISTAN: **(looks confused along with Otogi) **Well, I don't' know Brock, but you'll never know.

That's all the time we have!  Thanks for reading and remember…uh…remember…????

To my Lovely reviewers!

Dee-whY-Cee-aRe – (Chapter 15) How could I possibly change poor Rishid's name?  Besides, I haven't watched Yu-Gi-Oh in English since well, I guess since Kaiba and Yugi's duel.  Someone told me he was called Odion.  Go figure. (Chapter 16)  Whahahahaha!

Mavelus – (Chapter 15) OMG, you're the writer of the Cover Girl, aren't you? (well of course I went to confirm it!)  I've read bits and pieces of it, but I think it's great! Thanks for looking at my fic, even though I know it's not the greatest!  Thank you so much!

Umiko Morimoto – (Chapter 15) Hiya!  Well, yes I too thought of a hot spring, but I thought that maybe a public bath house would be funnier.  I don't know I might go both ways!  Thank you for reminding me of that idea, I will hopefully execute it in a good way that you'll enjoy! (Chapter 16) Wow!  Yugi see Tea nude?  That sounds cool, but I might dim it down, but otherwise I will use it!

Isis Hotep – (Chapter 15) Sorry for the long wait on your questions, and thank you for submitting to them.  I brought Yami Malik in Chapter entitled "Malik" but I'll make sure he has one more cameo.  I must bring back justice to him, for English destroyed him!

kauly123 – (Chapter 15) Thanks for saying it was one of the best chapters.  I tried really to get the introductions done as soon as possible to move on the story, but turns out I'm not quite done. That means more chapters though!  OH yes, Seto, you are a bad boy!

Kai – (Chapter 11)  I would have kept the blue eyes, except it might lead to suspicions.  I don't' know, I changed everything to every guy.  I thought Yugi trying to change himself, by himself, would be a disaster.  So that thought came up!

LiLianJieGurl – (Chapter 15) I felt bad really that Yugi get less attention then his Yami.  Then the idea of him being the babe of the six hit my head, and so Kaiba and Otogi are checking him out!  About the DVD's, I buy them from Ebay.  They are well relatively cheap, and well, to tell you the truth the subtitling isn't all that good (my pen name is from the bad subtitling ^_^), but quality and quantity of the episodes are good.  It's WAY better than the English version!  E-mail me if you want more info!  (Chapter 16) I never saw Ranma ½, I really want to though!  Thank you again for reviewing and possibly putting an idea in my head.  If I use it, I thank you in advance!

linzy8554 – (Chapter 15) Your so sweet!  When I read your review I just had to write Chapter 16 as fast as I could.  All those jokes I put into Chapter 15 we're weird, but I'm happy that you liked them!  But please, refrain from burning my socks, I'm very protective of my YGO logo socks…okay so their not really YGO socks, but using a black marker makes me feel like they were! (Chapter 16) I hope things are getting interesting!

Ancient Angel- (Chapter 15) Sometimes I don't know what to say to a person I talk to quite often.  Well I'll thank you and stuff.  Also for listening to my rants, I have to thank you for that! (Chapter 16)  To make you laugh, I think I accomplished my goal.  There's some Yaoi, technically, and I know you enjoyed that!

ACME-Rian – (Chapter 15) First, I'm sorry I'm neglecting you!  I will include you in the story once the tournament starts!  Don't worry and thanks for being one of my many repeating reviewers! (Chapter 16) Joni is a cutie, huh?

OnlyHAUNTED – (Chapter 15) You know, even before I read the Manga I thought Grandpa was a perv.  Now I can write about it.  I'll be sure to give you credit for that idea. I'm sorry I didn't before and thankful!  Well, I will put more Bakura and Malik because, reason one, Malik's so cute and reason two, I WANT to embrasses Bakura!  Thank you again! (Chapter 16) I'm so exicted to write those Bakura/Malik moments!  Though again, I don't know how many, but they'll be roomies, so expect a lot!  Well Jou and Kaiba are technically sharing a bathroom together and I KNOW something is bound to happen ^_^

Spiderfan – (Chapter 15) just by saying "Keep writing" I can continue.  I value those kind of reviews as much as the detailed ones.  Thank you! (Chapter 16) Awe, you did the same thing again.  Thank you!

Dreamy-eyes1 – (Chapter 15) Yeah, I know I was slow in updating!  I have a lot of reasons behind it, though!  I'll be sure to update as fast as possible!  Thank you for reviewing (^_^ many times) and submitting me some questions! 

Trupana – (Chapter 15) By far, I'm so in love with the Mai/Seto idea, that I had to refrain myself from doing so many scenes!  I'm very grateful to you for starting me on that coupling!  I'm going to write more situations, but I also made a promise that I would write as many couplings as I could.  After all, this is a humor fic!

Keith Kaizer – (Chapter 15) The website? I gave up on that idea, when I proclaimed it, I wasn't as busy as I am now.  But I did list in this chapter the insipiration behind the guys looks and if you want, I could send you a Bakura picture I found that I based his looks on!  Thank you, for congratulating me on my 200th.  I never knew I'd make it this far!  By the way, Odin rocked in FFVIII! I loved him so!

Cettie-girl – (Chapter 15) Chapter 15 was dedicated to them finding one another, and boy did it take long to write.  It was, ah, one of the most tedious parts of the story for me, I like them separated and individually focused on.  But hey, they're cute, so they had to meet sometime.  Thanks for the questions and the review! (Chapter 16) Hey, they bicker as guys, why not as girls?

  
Dragon Master's Mistress – (Chapter 15) well I put you down for asking the same question too!  Thanks, I was hoping someone would address it (well two was cool)!  Yes, Kaiba is one hella of bad boy! (Chapter 16) Oh, how I want Candy!  But what I really need is caffeine. But candies good!  I will eat my candy happily! Thank you!

neutral element – (Chapter 15)Awe, you're making me blush!  I'm SORRY I didn't update and I don't know about the faster, but I GURANTEE I'll finish the story!  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, for flattering me!  I'm not that great, but the things you said are like warming!  Sorry, I will try as hard as possible!

Ieyre – (Chapter 16) I guess it's odd, but I respect that you think so.

Georgia – (Chapter 16) Buddy, it's been so long since I've heard from you!  It's good to hear you're still reading and liking the story!  Thank you for being one of my supporters up till now!

samurai-ashes – (Chapter 16) Thank you!  I did not notice that mistake!  Glad you pointed it out!  I'm happy you like the story, and it's great that you helped me out.  I'm a bit, well, rushed with these chapters, I know there are tons of mistakes.  Thank you again, for reviewing and helping me!

Duos-Bunnie – (Chapter 16)  Well at least you reviewed for me once again, that makes me grateful!  Thank you so very much!

Dew-Shan of Egypt – (Chapter 16) I'm not a Yaoi writer, so don't worry about those kind of situations.  However, since this is humor, I'm going for every possible coupling, just for fun of course!  Thanks for the review and questions! I'll be sure to answer them!

Unicornfan – (Chapter 13) Don't worry, more chapters might or might not be put up!  Wait and see, buddy!

Kikoken – Thank You!  I too find the concept hilarious and very likely.  I don't know, they're drawn in certain way…

Flower Petals – I don't mind you reviewed late, I'm just glad you like the story in the first place.  Thank you!  

neutral element – Yeah I was wondering what happened to you.  It's true, I don't get enough energy as of late and I DID set up my chapters for upcoming ones, but since I've taken so long I have to reinvent the whole thing.  *sigh*Thanks for reviewing!

YugiLuv – Awe, thanks!

Hikari – I have the same problem too, I can't laugh late at night else I'll get caught being up and scolded.  Thanks for reviewing!


	18. Pegasus takes FOREVER to get here!

**_I My Me, Oh My!_**

  
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**Author's note:** Again, apologize for the delay in this chapter. *Wipes away tear* I have such nice reviewers! 

Let me state something. I, once again, I've written something that doesn't move the story along one bit. I'm having writers block and all I've been writing are small ideas that I've had and making them into one chapter. *Sigh* I'm hoping to finish this story soon, but at the rate I'm going… ah, well… 

LOL. I have a small story to tell you. Last week, my father and I were watching T.V. and I turned on Yu-Gi-Oh for a bit. My dad, being bored commented about everything that was in YGO. The funniest thing he said was, "Why is that guy wearing a dress-cape?" LOL!! He was talking about Kaiba (I was furious b/c I love Kaiba, but still it was funny!) 

**Disclaimer:** If I'd own Yu-Gi-Oh, well, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but if I did, oh the fantasies that would be finally realized!   
  
  
  


**_Chapter 16: Please Remain Seated!_**

  
  
  


_…A man could go mad here…_ thought one irritated Seto Kaiba. As far as he could see in throughout the auditorium, women gathered in groups, conversing with one another. He felt he was watching something out of the discovery channel, watching huge packs gather. All that was left was for one male specimen to come and those huge herd of women to destroy him in an instant. 

"Quit fidgeting!" 

"I'm NOT fidgeting, woman!" Kaiba barked at his companion, Mai. She'd once again interrupted his thinking. His patience was wearing thin. All he's heard from Mai since Day one was how many flaws he had in being a woman. "Kaiba, walk straight!" "Kaiba, stick your chest out!" "Kaiba, tuck your butt in!" It took all he had not to throw something at her. 

Kaiba had a plan and that plan keep him from going insane. He could only endure such a façade for so long. The first chance he sees that Blue Eyes White Dragon card, he'll rip them to shreds and run like the Trix Rabbit would… only there'd be no cereal and he won't be caught by evil, unloving children. 

"I wonder what Pegasus is planning?" Mai asked, trying to strike a conversation with the silent Seto Kaiba. 

The CEO let out a faint "hm" sound. But then a thought struck him. He groaned at one possibility of Pegasus's plans, he begged to a higher power to not even let this evening turn into "funny-bunny marathon." 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Sit more lady like, brother!" Serenity suggested to her brother, who'd right now sat in his seat, slumped and bored. 

"Sorry, sis, I'm just a little bothered if I cross my legs" Joey received a shock look from his sister, "Uh, well, you know, I'm a guy, I get uncomfortable doing that." 

"Ne, brother, did you go to our room yet?" 

"Serenity, remember call me sister, or Joni! They said we'd have to wait here for Pegasus to welcome us before we can go up. Man, I'm getting bored!" 

"MAN?!? Where? I'm not a guy" a short, girl yelled out frantically, overhearing what Joey had said. 

"Eh?" Joey looked for the individual that had interrupted his conversation with his sister. He'd hoped they hadn't heard his sister call him, 'brother' "Hey, why don't you mind your own business, lady! I didn't call you a man, I just said 'Man, I'm getting bored!'" 

"Oh, ehehehehehe" she turned around and excused herself. 

_…Wait a minute! That laugh!_ Joey stood still for a moment, stifled with fear. 

"What's wrong, Joni?" Serenity asked. 

_…It can't be… _Joey just couldn't believe it. _ …that… that… that… was… Weevil Underwood!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!___

_"_Hey, have you found out where the rare cards are. Hey, where'd did he go" another girl asked, searching for another girl. She stopped and spootted the same girl Joey had identfied earlier as Weevil. 

_AND THAT'S REX RAPTOR!!!!_

"Joni, if you really have to go the bathroom, then just go!" the startled Serenity suggested after seeing Joey make those weird faces. 

"Serenity, you will NOT believe who that was!!" 

"That chick with the glasses?" 

"Yeah, that's Weevil Underwood and Rex Raptor!!!" 

"So?" 

"So?!?! You mean your not shocked by the fact that a guy is dressed up as a girl to participate in this competition?" 

"Um, well I'm more shocked by YOU participating in this tournament…"   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

Evil thought brew through the mind of Yami Bakura. He'd been sitting in the reception room for nearly five minutes and he was at the brink of a violent outburst. The cause of this pent up anger? He's partner in all this Tea ran off somewhere and he was stuck in between several women, gossiping about the latest issue of Duel Monster Digest. 

"Yugi is definitely a cutie. Awe, look at those eyes!" 

"Can you imagine being with Kaiba for a moment?" Collective sighs ran through the group. 

"Hey, look at this, there's a mysterious duelist listed here. It says he participated in Duelist Kingdom and challenged Yugi Mutou to a duel, but lost!" 

"The poor thing" 

"According to this, he has white long hair and the most innocent face." 

_Innocent face? White hair? RYOU!!!_

Bakura snatched the issue away from one of the girls and took a look at the page they were speaking about. He paused for a moment, looking seriously at the content of the article "…AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! They're talking about Ryou! HAHAHAHAHA! Who'd put that fool in this article?" 

"Hey! That's mine!" the girl yelled, pointing to the magazine that Bakura currently had in his hand. 

"HAHAHAHAHA, they're calling Ryou 'Most Adorable' " he breathed out heavily, "Ah, I can't wait till I post this on that fool's wall. I can see his red face now…." 

"Hey, I'm talking to you give that back!" 

"You want it back…?" Bakura asked, using _that_ mischievous tone he was known for, he stopped and reached in his pocket for a duel monster card he'd use especially for this girl. 

**BANG!!!**

"Here you go miss, here's your magazine." An individual appeared before Bakura, hitting him over the head. The girl took this opportune moment to yank the magazine away from Bakura. 

Bakura growled, "Who dares--- What are you doing here?" 

Malik grinned at Bakura, of course disguised still as Malon. "Just testing out my scepter here!" he raised the Millennium Rod, the one he'd decorated with glitter and bows. 

Bakura's eyes widened in surprise, "You have a scepter?" 

"Yeah, it's cool for whacking people unconscious. It's so fun causing harm onto others!" Malik hugged his Mill. Rod, a.k.a. Malik's scepter, he then waved at Bakura "See you around, I have to find my buddies. Hope that they've woken up by now! Bye!" 

"… yeah, bye…" Bakura was unsure of what to say to her. The strange behavior was enough to confuse anyone. "I've had it! I'd been waiting for the Millennium Item holder to appear and nothing! I have to use the Ring in order to find them! I have no choice but to use it!" 

Bakura stood in middle of the large room, and took out his Millennium Ring from under his shirt. He held it up high and waited for it to show him the way to the holder of the Millennium Item. He waited for a moment. The ring turned to his right, and then to his left, then it began to spin around in a wild frenzy. "What the hell is wrong with this stupid thing?" he asked. "It can't detect where the Millennium items are! Why I don't understand—ompf!" before he knew it, the Ring had gone up and hit him straight in the face, causing him to fall backwards. 

"…What's wrong with this thing…?" he groaned, lying on the ground with a red, Millennium Ring mark on his face. "Why won't it point in one direction?"   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

Isis stood in front of her brother with arms crossed, "Malik, explain yourself! Why is Rishid unconscious?" 

"How'd you find me, sister?" 

"The trail of unconscious people led me here. Now, explain!" 

"It was self-defense!" 

"I don't believe you!" 

"But it's the truth, sister! They saw my scepter and wanted it for their own. They were plotting against me!" 

She sighed at her brother, "Just mind control them and erase their memories." 

"But that would require work" 

GLARE. 

"Okay, Okay, Okay, I'm going" frantically Malik ran off, doing his sister's bidding.   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Pharaoh, it is urgent I speak to you!" 

"Keep your voice down!" Yugi hushed 

"Pharaoh!" Yugi jumped up and pulled the person who'd addressed him as Pharaoh down, keeping him in a headlock. "Shadi, don't call me that here!" 

"But Pharaoh, I--" his sentence was cut as Yugi clamped his hands over his mouth. 

"Sshhhh!" Yugi warned, "Be **_quite_**!! How'd you find me?" 

"Pharaoh, I--" Shadi felt Yugi's grip grow tighter, "ah, your hurting me." 

"Stop calling me Pharaoh!" 

"Apologize Pharaoh" Yugi applied more force, "Ack! I mean, uh, your Excellency, but you must be forewarned!" 

"I've been forewarned enough this year Shadi, I understand my role as Yami's partner, but you coming here, where men are forbidden is unacceptable!" 

"Then, why are you here my Pharaoh!" 

"GAH! Shut up! I told you to keep your mouth shut." 

"I sense great darkness and anxiety within you. I will use my Millennium Item to search your soul" 

"You'll sense more than great darkness and anxiety if you don't leave. I have business here, I'll go back to finding Yami's memories later!" 

"Very well, my Pharaoh." Yugi let's go of Shadi, but pulls at his hair in utter frustration over Shadi. "… by the way…. Nice dress…." He disappears. 

"ARGH!!!" Yugi yelled in frustration.   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Look here, Otogi-sama is 'Most Creative'" Otogi Girl # 2 showed her copy of Duel Monsters Digest to Otogi Girl # 2. 

"Whoa, look here. They're calling Malik Ishtar 'Most Mysterious'! I want to meet him. He looks stalk-worthy!" 

"OH MY, Don't move!!!!" 

"What, what is it?" Otogi frantically looked at Otogi Girl # 3. 

"You have a split end!!" 

Collective gasps were heard among the vultures known as Otogi Girls. 

"I ask myself, why, oh WHY, do I suffer this way?" he looked at his so-called companions, who once again were in a fight on who'd cut off Otogi's split end. 

Casually, Otogi scanned the auditorium he was sitting at. He then looked forward to find Serenity and her friend, Joni sitting two rows in front. 

"Hey, Serenity!" Otogi turned to see the voice calling out to _his_ Serenity was that of Tristan Taylor. Immediately he stood up and ran in front of Tristan's way. 

"Say, Mr. Taylor, do you mind getting me a glass of water?" he slyly asked. 

"Sure, no problem. Anything else?" 

"Yeah, hold up" Otogi turned his back at Tristan. Tristan looked over his shoulder, and saw that Otogi was writing something down. "Here!" he said, "Here's a list of all the needs I have!" 

"You need cat nip?" Tristan raised a brow. 

"Yes." Otogi plainly stated, "I need it A.S.A.P." 

"Okay…" Tristan sounded confused, "Young miss, and this list has too many demands it might take a while." 

_I was counting on that_ "I'm sure you'll do your best" Otogi batted his eyelashes at Tristan. _I'm going to feel dirty in the morning, but he's buying it! Bwhahahah, I am good!_

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Sorry, I had to use the ladies room." Tea said, taking her seat besides Mai. 

"Don't worry nothing happened. Where'd did your friend go Tea?" Mai asked. 

"I don't know, one minute she's here, the next she's off somewhere. Hey, is she all right?" Tea pointed over to Kaiba, who'd look upset at the moment. 

"She's just naturally crabby" Mai whispered, out of Kaiba's earshot. 

"**LADIES, WELCOME TO PEGASUS GRAND TOURNAMENT. WE ASK THAT YOU TAKE YOUR SEATS, AS WE WILL BE STARTING MOMENTARILY!"**

"Oh, Thank God!" one really loud voice rang throughout the entire auditorium. 

"Don't be so loud, Joni!" 

"Sorry about that!!"   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


**"LADIES, I HAVE THE GRAND PLEASURE OF INTRODUCING YOUR PAIR OF HOSTS TONIGHT! LET'S HAVE WARM WELCOME FOR MOKUBA KAIBA AND PEGASUS J. CRAWFORD"**

There was applause, until one voice yelled over the whole thing, the voice belong to one angry individual, "WHAT!?!?! MOKUBA!!!!!!!!" 

Mai sat calmly in her seat, looking embarrassed at Kaiba's outburst, she muttered under he breath "The point was to be as discrete as possible…"   


-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


Another pointless chapter brought to you by yours truly, Yogi Mutoh! Review please; it makes me think more clearly!   
  
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	19. Oh, Mokuba, you didnt, did you?

  
**Author's Note:** ** I'm so. so. so. so. so very soorrrrry! After I finished writing Chapter 18, I had an accident involving my beloved pet hamster, Yuki, and I went into a depressed state. Then, when my pet Yuki recovered, I was suddenly hit with a bad case of writer's block! But I'm back with another chapter, again it might or might not move the plot. I'm VERY happy that this story is doing so well and I find that I really don't deserve all your praises. Thank you all once again for sticking with me!**   
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**I found this chapter to be so random, but I couldn't write anything better. Many thanks to Jieli for being my beta reader for this chapter. Thanks buddy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**   
  
  
  


**_Chapter 17: Kaiba has a ...?_**

  


_Maybe if I don't move they won't notice me…_

His eyes wondered as his thoughts didn't match reality. All eyes were on him after his outburst. 

_…So much for that theory…_

"Oh, looks like we have a live one!" 

Kaiba froze in place. _Why is Pegasus pointing at me…?_

"What do you say ladies, how about we ask this young miss to join on us stage?" 

"Whaa…?" a baffled Kaiba uttered, as he heard encouraged applause from the female audience of duelists. Kaiba could think of only one thing: act shy, sit back down, slump in your seat, and conceal your face with your hand to display your mortification. 

It was a brilliant plan! Well it was the only plan he thought of at the moment, so he supposed it was an ingenious one. Before he could take his seat, two arms appeared from nowhere and held him up. He turned around to find two women standing in the row behind him. One was a large, brute looking woman with blonde hair and black shades. The other was older woman, also, wearing shades but with braided gray hair. Both decked out black suits, identical to the one's that Pegasus men wore at Duelist Kingdom 

"Miss, I recommend that you come with us. Master Pegasus requests that you go up on stage." 

_What? But what about Seto-sama's brilliant plan,_ thought Kaiba in the third person. 

"You're coming with us!" The brute woman informed Kaiba, sounding as if he was giving him an ultimatum. 

Of course, ultimatum or no, he wasn't going to give up without a fight. Moving as quickly as possible, he used is strength to escape their grasp and dropped down to his seat. And holding on to dear life, he wrapped his arms around the arms rest. Both women then began to wage a tug of war with the stubborn Kaiba.   
  
On stage, Pegasus beckoned Kaiba to come on stage, "Come on," he coaxed. "Don't be shy! Ladies, let's encourage this young lady!" At that moment, the audience began to cheer their encouragement. 

_This is harassment!! _ Kaiba gritted his teeth as he struggled to fight against the two women who were pulling on him. He knew that he was winning since he could feel the two women's grip loosen. However, without him noticing, he felt something creep up his sides. 

"HAHAHAHHAA…Stop it!" he resisted any sort of laughter, but was having a hard time since he was being tickled. 

Feeling that the situation needed some spice, Mai felt that it would be _interesting_ if Kaiba were to go up on stage and meet up with his rival and little brother. The only way that would happen if she helped get him up there. So, she began to tickle Kaiba at his sides, in hopes of him loosening his hold. 

Kaiba, powerless to stop both parties at the same time, finally let go. As he did, since he was being excessively pulled on, the two women and he were sent flying backwards. 

"Kimiko?!??" Joey asked, being the first to display his concern. 

Peering over, Mai looked to see what had happened to Kaiba. When she did, faster than she could react, she was confronted face to face with the angry CEO. 

She nervously chuckled, "You're okay, right?" 

The look on Kaiba's face at the moment signified the end of her young tragic life. She held her breath for what seemed like forever, as the angry CEO's eyes seemed to pierce right through her. 

Thankfully at that moment, Kaiba did the unexpected. He fainted. 

Exhaling deeply, she felt so relieved! For a moment she could feel her heart skip a beat.   
  
"Ah, she blacked out from hitting her head!" Yugi exclaimed as he jumped over his seat to aid the fallen Kaiba. 

Joey too followed suit, and went to help. "Kimiko, say somethin'!" 

Téa and Serenity also jumped up to help out. As both jumped over to get to the other row, they heard a simultaneous "urgh" sound. 

"AHH, Sorry, I'm so sorry!" Téa frantically jumped after landing on one of the two women that was also fell over. 

"Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." Serenity apologized, as she bent down to help the one woman she had stepped on. "Huh? What's this?" 

"Those are wigs…?" Téa looked puzzled, as Serenity held two wigs in her hands. She then looked down and found their owners, "Croquet? Kimo?" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


Somewhere, away from the commotion that had been going on in the auditorium, Bakura wandered aimlessly. He looked down at his Millennium Ring, which had smoke coming out of it. It was a shock to Bakura to find that even Millennium Items also overheated from excessive use. An experience he could relate to all to well with the "toaster incident" from last year. 

The last he had seen of his partner, Téa, was when she had entered the auditorium along with other female duelist. Particularly, he hadn't put any thoughts into actually participating fully in the tournament. His plan from the beginning was to whack the Millennium Item holder with a piece of steak and make a break for it. However, he lacked the steak and the actual Millennium Item holder. 

He would have to find the Millennium Items the old fashion way, by searching through the duelist's belongings as they slept and eat the food out of those little refrigerators they kept at hotels, allowing the guest to foot the bill. 

It was the only logical thing to do in this case. 

Finding that it was about time he'd join up with Tea, Bakura made his way to the auditorium. His path was hindered as he felt that he had kicked something. Looking down, he picked up the object to inspect it, "…What the hell is this furry creature?" 

"I wuv you" it spoke to him. 

"… I wonder if the shadow realm tortures useless contraptions as well?" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


Téa gasped, "Ah! Those two are--" 

"Croquet and Kimo!" Joey took a fighting stance and growled at the two, "What the hell are you doing here?" 

Both Croquet and Kimo rubbed their heads and got up. Croquet was the first to speak "Ouch, my head." 

"AHHHHHHHH!!! Those men were disguised as women!!" 

"Huh?" Kimo looked rather puzzled. Yet, he became full aware that several women began to surround around them, each snarling at him and Croquet. 

"Get em'!!!" 

After the sound of a battle cry of one of the women, Croquet and Kimo dashed off; leaving a dust trail, behind them several women chasing them armed with hairbrushes. 

"…That was unexpected…" Joey said, the rest nodding in agreement. 

A small figure ran up to the group that was attending the fallen Kaiba. It turned out Mokuba had seen all that had unveiled and rushed over to his brother's side. 

The younger Kaiba reached his brother's side. He crouched down to try and wake up his older brother. "Tell me you're okay, big brother!" 

Yugi's eyes widened. Had Mokuba said "big brother?" It wasn't possible that… 

For Mokuba, he was petrified. He was so dead. All heard his voice projected throughout the entire auditorium and the words "are you okay, big brother?" He had forgotten to turn off the microphone he was currently holding in one hand. 

The whole audience gasped. At the moment, Kaiba began to regain consciousness. He was feeling light-headed, to put it mildly. He woke up to a strange sight: four girls, Mai and Mokuba were hovering over him, and all were staring at him, then at Mokuba. 

"Uh…" Mokuba picked up his microphone nervously. He had to think fast to cover up his brother's identity. An idea struck Mokuba, the only plausible one that could cover up his slip up: "...are you okay, big brother's girlfriend?" 

This time, the audience's gasps were even louder. 

"…oh wha…" groggily Kaiba responded.. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" 

A pause for an intake of air, 

"MWHWHAHHAHAHA, you all will become sacrifices!" 

Yami Malik (Gasp, bet you didn't see that coming!) grinned evilly as he watched chaos ensue around him. His "minions" were doing his bidding and he was in control of his host's body. It was indeed one a happy, joyous, massacre killing fun day for the loveable psycho. 

Something bothered him though. Instead of appearing in front of a Pharaoh and initiating some stabbing upon him, he was in an extravagant hotel. In one hand, his precious Millennium Rod had been shamed, as someone had decorated it in ribbons, glitter, and other decorative materials that would make him the laughing stock of the other Millennium item holders. And the most obvious annoyance to him at the moment was that his host has made a few changes to his body. 

"I wonder if I touch--" 

"Hold it right there, Malik!" 

"Isis?!??" His hands fumbled, and he frantically put them behind his back. "I wasn't going to really touch them! I just wanted to see if they were real!" 

"…What are you talking about?" Isis questioned. 

"Nothing…" Yami Malik shifted his eyes, "Nothing at all…" 

"Malik! What is going on here?! Did your evil spirit take over your body?" 

"What gave you that idea?" Mocked Yami Malik. 

"The vending machine still has some chips dangling to it!" Isis pointed to the vending machine that indeed had some Doritos dangling. 

Yami Malik arched an eyebrow, "…you mean you haven't noticed people screaming and yelling 'please spare me from eternal torment' nor small woodland creatures screeching at my appearance?" And by coincidence, a squirrel did pass by and screeched at Yami Malik's presence. "See?" 

"You're not getting away with this, evil spirit!" Isis declared, ignoring all that was said. "What you say to me has no relevance, for you will not be spared! For I know, that you know, that I know, that you can't be Malik! Why? Cause as long as there is a vending machine, there will be Malik, putting in quarters and buying out all the junk food it has!!" 

"Hai, Mistress Isis." Rishid, who was at Isis' side, was obligated to agree with his mistress. _And they ask why Master Malik isn't as smart as he is!_

"Who's the broad?" Yami Malik asked, pointing to Rishid. 

"Why it's Rishid of course. My secret weapon!" 

"Rishid!!!!!" panicked Yami Malik, "Where?" 

"Here!" Isis yelled. 

"Where?!??" 

"Here! Right here!" 

"…you're a cruel one, Isis. You can't play with a Yami's feeling like that!" 

"Oh no, you aren't affected by Rishid! You aren't supposed to exist when Rishid is around!" 

"Mistress Isis, I believe Malik doesn't recognize me. My veils conceal the scars I endured for Master Malik. The pain I wished to suffer with him--" 

"Yeah, Yeah, blah, blah, blah. We just have to think of a new strategy, that's all. He must have some weakness …Rishid?" 

"Yes, Mistress Isis?" 

"STRIP!" 

"What?!? You can't be serious? I'll just take off the veil that's all--" 

She gave him the evil eye. "We have no time for your plan, Rishid. STRIP, NOW!" 

Later... 

"Tee-hee, Rishid I can't see your goodies." The normal Malik giggled. 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-   


_Did I wake up in hell or something…?_

Kaiba couldn't fathom how horribly wrong the situation had gone for him. 

First, he'd fainted. HIM! The actual Seto Kaiba had fainted after hitting his head. He was never as weak to allow that to happen. He'd have to let that slide because of who he was trying to be at the moment. 

Second, he still hadn't found the Blue Eyes White Dragon card. 

Third, he was dressed as a woman and trying to keep up the façade. 

And lastly, to his horror he had just been declared by his younger brother to be his own girlfriend. 

Fluttering his eyes open, he saw Mai having a hard time containing herself. She was clutching her stomach to stop herself from laughing.   
  
His ears could pick up the murmuring and gossiping had gone on throughout the audience, as this was, after all, the scandal of the moment. 

Off on one side, Joey looked at him. _Figures that Kaiba would go for this chick…too bad she's cute, but the attitude is more like Kaiba…_

Close by, jealous eyes were glaring at him, ones belonging to Serenity. _This girl is with Kaiba?_ And to add to her jealous thoughts, she was strangling what she thought was a chair, but turned out to be Téa. 

"S-S-Ser—enity!!" 

"Oh, sorry Téa. I thought you were Kimiko—uh I mean, thought you were somebody else." She released her grip on Téa, who fell backwards, looking oddly at the red-haired girl. 

"Don't worry about it," Téa hesitatingly reassured her, feeling uneasy about jealous Wheeler. It was a scary thought if you were Kimiko at the moment 

As for Kimiko herself, or again I should say, Kaiba himself, he was feeling unbelievably annoyed. "Oh God, I can't feel my legs!" 

"Oh, whoops I'm standing on them!" Joey excused, removing himself off of Kaiba's legs. 

Kaiba's eyes involuntarily twitched. If the world weren't spinning for him at the moment, he would have killed the girl called Joni by now. 

Being a bit timid to ask, Mokuba once again voiced his concern for his brother. "Are you okay?" 

Mokuba wasn't greeted by any verbal response. Instead, his brother motioned for him to move in closer. When Mokuba was in earshot, Kaiba whispered something that only he could hear. After what was said, Mokuba looked as if he'd seen a ghost. 

Yugi motioned over to Joey. "Joni, what do you think Kimiko said to Mokuba?" 

Joey shrugged, "Dunno. Hey, there are a lot of people missing all of a sudden." 

"Hm, you're right! The ones that were chasing Kimo and Croquet aren't back either… something fishy is going on…"   
  
-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Yami Malik did what?" 

"Sister, it's true! My other self created Furby and Beanie Baby armies and commanded them to bring him some sacrifices." 

"Furbies…? Beanie Babies?" Rishid inquired. 

"Yeah! He went even more psycho-psycho! Don't worry, they should be deactivated…I mean after they served their purpose of snatching women and placing them into their bodies for all eternity, they should have gone kaput." 

Isis glared at her brother, "Malik, what did you have to eat today?" 

"Um, let me see. I ate some cereal, exactly one fourth of a melon, two cookies made with real fudge, um, a mint, and an expired snickers bar… I think that's it!" 

"Are you sure?" 

"I had these pixie sticks I was saving for later!" Malik searches his pocket, "Hey, where'd they go!" 

"That explains it. Yami Malik must have consumed those pixie sticks and they seeped into his brain and caused him to hallucinate. Instead of creating fearsome creatures, he created adorable creatures." 

I'd hardly call them adorable, Rishid added. 

"I always knew Pixie Sticks were the source of all evil." Isis nodded her head. "What else could explain all those times we pretended to be mob bosses and went around beating people with pipes?" 

"Actually, Isis-sama, you never ate any Pixie Sticks when you beat those people." 

"Nonsense! It was the Pixie Sticks. I curse those marketers and their clever techniques!" stopping in mid sentence "My Millennium Necklace is telling me that danger is nearby!" 

_Oh so now it's the Millennium Necklace, not the "voices"._ Rishid groaned. 

Using her sixth sense, Isis scanned the area, looking paranoid then cautious. "Rishid, Malik, don't you feel as if you're being watched?" 

"Could it be that pink-haired girl watching us from over there?" 

Rishid and Isis looked at Malik, "What girl?" 

"She's been watching me a lot! I think she's my new best friend. Yoo-hoo, over here!" Malik waved. 

A small yelp was heard as a pink-haired figure stumbled from out of the shadows. 

"I—uh…." Bakura was flabbergasted. How the was it possible that the purple-haired girl saw him? He had hidden himself quite well. He was good at hide and seek, so how could he have lost to that girl after all these years? He felt like he'd lost a part of himself, as she had defeated him. 

"Look, he's holding a Furby!" 

Dashing as fast as he could, Malik slapped the creature out of Bakura's grasp. He picked it up and threw it out of the window. Its last words were echoed: "I wuv yoooooooooou!!!" 

"Hey!" A mad Bakura barked. "Get your own torture victims!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

"Sorry, ladies, for the delay! It seems I have received some terrible news. Several of your fellow duelists have dropped due to unforeseen circumstances," Pegasus explained. 

"I wonder what happened?" Yugi felt something scratching his feet. He looked down and saw a Furby toy on the floor. He picked it up. "Hey, does this belong to anyone?" 

Nobody claimed it, willingly or otherwise. 

"Oh well!" He tossed the toy near a trashcan, where it landed carelessly. 

However, unbeknownst to Yugi, that particular Furby activated after the impact. Its eyes glowed red and out of its very small frame, popped out a small, indiscreet laser weapon. 

The Furby had its sight locked on Yugi, obeying its master's command of finding sacrifices. 

"OMG! Look at this, Otogi-sama! It's a Furby!" Luckily, before any damage had been done, Otogi Girl #2 picked up to discarded toy. "Hey, why does its eyes have the writing, 'Must obey the Lord of the Rod, Master Malik?' Tee-hee, that sounds soooooo dirty!!" 

"Get rid of the thing!" Otogi commanded, who was feeling grumpy at the moment. The whole event was going nowhere. He'd been waiting an awful long time for the orientation that Pegasus was giving to be over. Unexpected delays had forced him to endure another session of mindless chatter from his group of stalkers, the Otogi Girls. 

"…I'm feeling this empty feeling… like…something very dear to me has disappeared." 

"Otogi...Decia-sama, the place got kinda empty…." Otogi Girl # 3 whined. 

Otogi wasn't paying any mind to her at the moment, as he was still pondering. "I just know something is missing, but what?" 

Pegasus cleared his throat and spoke into his microphone. "As I was trying to say before all this mess, you'll all be divided into eight groups, ranging from Group A to Group H. The winners of each group will head to the semi-finals where they will compete with one another until two are left. Those two will go to the finals and the winner will be declared the winner of our tournament. Tomorrow we'll start off the tournament; till then, you are free to enjoy all of the facilities here at Funny Bunny Resort and Casino!" 

Otogi's eyes widened; he had realized his worst nightmare: "WHERE DID ALL THE GIRLS GO?!?!" 

-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~-~--~--~--~--~--~--~--~- 

I just have to have one outburst every chapter. Aw well, please review! Thanks a lot!   


**To My Reviewers: (hopefully I'm starting at the same place I left off)**

**Ancient Angel** - (Chapter 17) Yeah I know, it's so hard to update! Thank you for the lovely comment that i'm doing my job. I don't feel like I am, but thanks for the comment nonetheless. (Chapter 18) Aw, your making me blush! 

**Cettie-girl** - (Chapter 17) Thank you! Yeah, I don't know why I think Yugi's mom would have problems with Yugi. C'mon Yugi's so Kawaii. Thank you for reviewing! (Chapter 18) I'm trying to add as many of the boys in my story as possible. If not here, in the next installment. 

**onlyHAUNTED** - (Chapter 17) Yes, I know it was meant as a filler. I just didn't want to leave you guys hanging, and the best I could come up was that chapter. Thanks for reviewing. (Chapter 18) I should move the plot, but I main purpose is to give a laugh or two. I never actually thought about the plot of the story till now, hopefully I'll pull it off. 

**ACME-Rian** - (Chapter 17) I think Yugi isn't a person who'd do any harm to anyone. Especially you! Don't worry I haven't forgotten to give a role in the fic. I'm giving you a small part in the next chapter! (Chapter 18) I apologize. I know I'm a ver random person. 

**samurai-ashes** - (Chapter 17) It was fun writing it as it was for you reading it I hope. Thanks for reviewing. (Chapter 18) It's fun to watch any anime with family. They're make the most FUNNIEST comments. In other animes, I tried to explain to my father about the story and characters. It's so funny when he says "isn't that the guy Goku" and he's pointing at any anime male other than the real Goku from Dragonball Z. 

**Mooncinder** - (Chapter 17) Um, I'll update when I can...but otherwise, I have to thank you again for submitting those questions. It gave me material to write with. Thanks. (Chapter 18) I know, I have to move the plot. I can't get that through my thick skull. 

**Jieli **- (Chapter 17) My buddy! Uh, well I'm at a lost for words, but I want to say your helping me is a wonderful! I just talk to you a lot, so I have no idea what to say here... except Many Thank You's!! (Chapter 18) I read your review for Chapter 18, I have to say I find that Ch. 18 was one of my favorties. I was so random and it is something I like writing about when I the "girls" interact with each other. 

**Isis Hotep** - (Chapter 17) I was only happy to answer your questions. It was fun! 

**Im Evil ** - (Chapter 17) How weird. You knew kinda predicted that I would insert Mokuba in Chapter 18. It would have been a good to use your idea, except I wrote the chapter before your review. It sounded like a really good! I'm sorry i'm making you wait for my chapters. I'll work harder. 

**Panseru** - (Chapter 17) Fishies? LOL. Thank you for thinking this is a good story. I'm always happy to hear it! Thank you! 

**neutral element ** - (Chapter 17) It has been a long time since I last heard from you! Thanks for reviewing and do update your stories! (Chapter 18) I didn't think of that idea! I thought of something funny, but I loved your idea. I could work that out in the sequel, cause in this story it wouldn't work out as I would like to. Don't worry, Pegasus, as I have planned, will make the boys uncomfortable! 

**Umiko Morimoto** - (Chapter 18) Wow, it's almost like you read my mind! It is like you read, Mokuba does spill the beans and says "big brother" but with more horrible results! It's weird, you predicted what was going to happen! Thanks for reviewing. 

**Mokuba-chan **- (Chapter 18) Aw, thank you! I'm glad you like the story! 

**linzy8554 **- (Chapter 18) I had to add Mokuba! Seto can't be without him! Thanks for reviewing. 

**Hikari ** - (Chapter 18) Hello! Thanks for taking the time to review my story! I'm not creative at all. I'm just VERY, VERY, VERY, weird. 

**Ieyre** - (Chapter 18) First off, thank you for reviewing. Yeah, I had to make Kaiba suffer with his little brother there. I wanted Mokuba to be more harmful, then helpful.. And as for the guys, let's say, they'll meet with Pegasus individually and hopefully with hiliarious results! 

**Flower Petals **- (Chapter 18) I'm happy to hear from you again. It's okay, I haven't updated frequently. I don't mind late reviews or no reviews at all. I'm just happy to hear about my writing. Thanks for reviewing! 

**Ice-Spirit Phoenix** - (Chapter 18) Thank you for your words of encouragement. I'm glad that you found my story to be amusing. That's was my goal, to give out a few laughs. I never thought of a plot...now I have to think of one...well, anyways, Thank you ! 

**Renee** - (Chapter 18) I know, crossdressing is an uncomfortable subject, but when it comes to my writing, I make it out to be through the eyes of any body who doesn't think things through. Don't take what I say too seriously. It' s all in good fun! Thanks for reviewing!   



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